All I Ever Wanted
by MY DAUGHTER BELLA
Summary: Bella's young n unruly. Edward accepts everything about her, loving her regardless. When he gives his life for her, will she change? Finally grow up? Or will she walk away, letting "Fate" step in? Lemony good. Lots of smut. Not for the faint. Review!
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1: The beginning of my end.**

**((((( Bella's POV )))))**

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in my story. They belong to Stephanie Meyer.**

**A/N: This is my first story ever. After reading many of the great fanfics out there, I was inspired. This story has a great story line, and changes constantly. Some angst, but plenty of love, and really hot love making, if I may say so myself.**

**I would love to read your reviews. Nice or not. **

**Oh, I know its a little short, but they will not all be like that.**

**Enjoy!**

"Stop! Stop! Get off of me!"

The tears welled up in my eyes as I scratched and scraped every inch of him on top of me. Making his desperate attempt to destroy my clothing a real chore. "Help!" I screamed, but I knew no one would hear me. No one would come to rescue me. Not this time.

As I felt the neck of my shirt ripping and my hair being torn out by the roots, I imagined Edward. My love, my life, my reason for being. I imagined him coming up to save me from this vile person.

But he was no where to be found.

I had alienated even him with my idiotic jealous rampages that were recently becoming more and more frequent. How could I ever doubt his undying love for me? How could I question the one constant in my life that always made everything make sense.

Tonight, after my rampage, I stormed off and decided to go and get a drink at Happy Time, a local bar, alone, just to calm my nerves. I had a great time with friends from school, as always. It always helped to distract me from my real issues. The sound of the music, the incredibly sexy eye candy passing by me every few seconds, and my favorite drink. What could get better than this.

If Edward insisted on choosing the most beautiful girls from class as study partners, I could choose the most handsome guy in the bar to dance with...to buy me drinks...to flirt with.

Even though Edward always claimed he never had any interest in any of those women, I knew better. Why would someone like him, as beautiful as him, be interested in one woman. One plain, ordinary woman with nothing to offer him except my heart and my body. I have hurt him so much over the years. But he always manages to forgive me and beg me back. To be honest, it should be me begging him back.

Pulling me out of my reverie, he whispered in my ear, "Hi honey, are you alone?" I looked up at this absolutely gorgeous man, smiled, and answered "Yes." He was absolutely gorgeous – at the time. He had the most beautiful tan with curly blond hair, slightly hanging in his face. He had on a white t-shirt with graphic writing on the front that showed off his muscles in the most perfect of ways, and the sexiest jeans that I had ever seen on a man. His voice was sooo calming and he smelled sooo good. I actually found myself flirting with him. Imagining how good he would feel up close to me.

The night passed very quickly. He showed interest in me. The same attentive, sweet interest that Edward showed me when we were early dating. Well, even now. I will give Edward at least that. He is very attentive to my every need, want, desire. But it never seems to be enough for me. We laughed and talked well until closing. He made me feel like I was fourteen again. Giddy, smiling, shy. The way he touched my hand when telling me one of his many stories or laughing at one of mine. The way his smile and his beautiful gray eyes pulled me in. Wanting more. More. More.

Without realizing, I drank more than I intended. I could not drive my car home. I refused to call Edward to come and rescue me once again, so I allowed this beautiful stranger to "escort" me home.

_How could he ever be harmful to me?_ I thought. _ Too beautiful...too kind_...huh...so I thought.

This kind, beautiful stranger, whose name I never got, asked me where I lived, and got on the road to my apartment. We laughed and talked the whole ride. I was so drunk that I never noticed the route he was taking. I knew this end of town, and I knew that I did not want to be here.

I asked him where he was taking me. He did not respond. I asked again. No response.

My buzz was quickly pushed aside as I demanded he answer me.

He looked at me with the most conniving look that sent shivers down my spine. I knew immediately what he planned. The way I acted tonight with him. How I showed him my legs and my cleavage, showing off my tattoo. My girly, flirty laughs. My sex stories. Now, all of that was no longer funny.

I quickly realized my error.

My next thought was to beg him to bring me home. To drop this. To even be friends still.

While I was debating my next words, he put a finger on my mouth saying, "Shhhhh."

What the hell is shhhhh?

Then the car slowed and stopped suddenly. I took the sights in. This was bad. Nothing could end good with this place.

The next thing I knew, I was being forced out of the car by my hair and drug across the ground like an animal.

When we reached his desired destination, he dropped my head and demanded I strip my clothes off. I sat there in total shock. Not moving. That would prove to be a mistake.

Those beautiful gray eyes, and that pearly white smile no longer looked as they did in the bar. It looked. Sinister. How could I have missed this? Edward always told me that my judgment of people left something to be questioned.

Now, I'm standing here, looking at him, hoping he is joking, trying to find a way out in my mind. Suddenly, he body slammed me to the ground, taking every bit of breath I had in me. There were all sorts of things on the ground. Bottles, trash, feces, boxes, rotten food. The smell was inexcusable. I smelled my blood as it pooled around my shoulders. Making me instantly nauseous. I willed myself to stay in tact. To stay focused.

"Please! Please! I'm begging you! Stop!" I yelled.

He leaned down into my ear and whispered, "I will have you tonight. Even if it kills you. You brought this on. You know you want this. Showing me those legs and licking your lips like did. You want this."

His strength was undeniable and his lust for me was dangerous. In my mind, I decided that my struggle was only prolonging the inevitable. If I only allowed him what he wanted then maybe I could live. I could go home to my Edward. Broken maybe, but I knew he would have me. He loved me more than anything and would do anything in the world to protect me. _How could I have allowed this? I deserve this. _I thought.

All of a sudden, just as I heard the hem of my skirt rip, then my lace underwear, I felt him remove himself from behind his zipper. I closed my eyes, fighting to hold back the tears. I would not allow him another moment of excitement – bathing in my fear. I am stronger than this. My body is all that he will have. I choose to keep my emotions, my heart and my mind under lock and key. I refuse to stay alert in this body while he rapes me.

His hard erection pressing against my center while he is touching and kissing every inch of my body. Grabbing my breast through my bra that he pushed up to expose me. Pinning my arms above my head, running his hands down my arms, my waist, my hips, my thighs. His hand trailed back up and stopped at my hip, squeezing it, holding it in place where he desired. By this time, there was no need to be so rough. I no longer had any fight left. I knew this was it. I could feel him down there, pressing, making his demand for an entrance into me. Making an attempt to make me wet. Trying to arouse me while choking me nearly lifeless.

Suddenly, I heard a car's tires screeching to a halt. I heard a voice. Maybe even a familiar voice. But how would I know. This must be me dreaming. Me in detached mode. Suddenly, he was off of me. I heard lots of cursing, screaming, fists being thrown, feet dancing back and forth, almost to a sort of rhythm, clothes ripping, gasping for breath, things being broken, and a sharp, but soft sound. Then suddenly...I heard nothing.

I lay there...naked, curled up on the ground, thankful that this dark hero had come to save me. Wondering how had anyone found us. We were behind a tall building. Hidden from eyes and street lights. An area that screamed dangerous. A place that sent chills up my spine just looking around. Taking in my surroundings. I wonder how many women have suffered my same fate. Only worse. Had anyone ever lost their lives back here? Their virginity? Their dignity?

Suddenly, I was aware of my nakedness and my shame flooded me.

How could I ever face Edward after this? I could still feel this creep's hands on me, kissing my earlobes, my neck, my breasts, my face. I felt permanently filthy and undesirable. Broken. Would he ever be able to look at me again? To see the women in front of him that he has loved for so many years?

My pain became insurmountable. I began weeping uncontrollably onto the ground. Not caring about the obvious filth that surrounded me. Screaming at the top of my lungs. "Oh my God. Oh my God. What have I done." My pain flooded my entire body leaving me no room to breath. No room to think. No room to envision any future that I desired. My body shaking uncontrollably, grabbing hold of this present knowledge.

I must have forgotten that there was another person that had come to my rescue, that was now slowly approaching me, hands out, palms showing. I drew back into the corner, covering any part that I was able. Clutching my legs, tucking every part of me as far against the wall as I could. Oh, how I wish I could be one with the wall. Never to be noticed again. It was so dark and so cold and to make matters worse, it started drizzling. Softly at first, them picking up speed. I could see steam escaping my mouth as I breathed harder and harder, readying my self to scream again. In fear that my dark hero may be no better than the creep that just tried to rape me.

He approached ever so slowly. Time seemed to still. My anticipation growing as my fear began its final decent to overtake me into the shadows. Slowly, still approaching, slowly, palms still out. Never a word.

Finally, as he stepped into the light, my heart skipped a beat. To my surprise, it was my Edward. But how?

He held his hands out, sensing my apprehension to his approach. As he continued, he took his jacket off and his shirt and stretched them out towards me, pausing, waiting for my approval to approach me. As I shook my head, he closed the gap between us, and commenced wrapping every inch of me in the clothing and whisked me up into his arms ever so gently.

His gentleness reminded me of the way I first held Alice's first baby, Brandon. He was so little and I felt like I could break him. I held him with careful gentleness, noticing his delicacy.

How could I have ever questioned his love for me and denied him happiness for so long. How could I take the one person in the world that loved me just as I am through the endless Hell that I had brought him. I did not deserve him. He deserves so much more. So much better.

As he gently placed me in his car, I unwound my arms from around his neck and looked in his eyes for a moment before shamefully looking away. He never said a word. He started the car and turned the heat on .

He then opened his wireless phone located between the seats and began dialing a number. Much to my surprise, it was 911, emergency services. I guess I just assumed we would just leave him here to wake up later, alone and defeated.

When Edward hung the phone up, he threw his head into his hands with exaggerated force. Shaking his head left to right over and over again. His breathing speeding up and his body tensed completely. I may have even heard a slight sob coming from him.

I curled myself up in the passenger seat and moved further toward the door. My shame consuming me. Looking at his reaction to the vile and repulsive things that this man had done to me. He would never be able to get this image out of his head. Never be able to look at my naked body the same. Never love me after what this creep has done to me. My body shook with pain as my world came crumbling down right before my eyes. My tears falling in volumes as this realization hit me once again. I sobbed and clutched my stomach with such force that I felt my skin ripping apart. It did not matter. This was my punishment for all that I had done. Was there a way to just lay here and simply just die? If not, maybe to just disappear. I felt worthless, used up. Who would want a woman taken like this?

Edward was still hunched over, body shaking, hands clinched and not looking at me. Not at all.

As much as I deserved this all. It somehow surprised me that his reaction was so harsh.

I can't blame him. I don't want to look at me either.

The Emergency Responders arrived and Edward left the car to go and speak to them. The paramedics came to speak to me, asking if I needed to go to the hospital. I, of course, denied them. No real harm done. He never inserted into me. They only bandaged my wounds on my shoulders from the broken glass.

My bruises that I now carry could never be fixed or bandaged up by some doctor. They are much deeper. Cutting like a sword deep within my being. Removing everything good within me. Leaving me a hollow shell. Void and without purpose.

I then saw the Coroner arrive and roll a body off to a van. My mouth fell. I jumped out of the car, screaming for Edward who was then in handcuffs.

"He was defending me." I shouted.

"Would you rather he raped me and had been able to live!"

"Edward!" They held me away from the scene and from Edward. He never looked up at me while calling for him. His look resembled shame, even remorse. What had he done?

They questioned him over and over...person after person. What were they trying to get him to admit to? What possibly could be so unforgivable?

How could this be happening?

After what seemed like hours, I was escorted home by an officer, Edward's car was towed away, and Edward was placed in the backseat of a cruiser.

_Oh, my God! My Edward. _I thought while sobbing. _What have I done._

**A/N: OK. I know that you have an opinion, so let me have it. Good or bad I want to hear it. Let me know if this is worth going forward with. I will write if you want to read. Thank you for your time so far.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2: The Admittance and Accusal**

**((((( Edward's POV )))))**

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in my story. They belong to Stephanie Meyer.**

**A/N: This chapter is a little long, but trust me, you will enjoy it. Don't forget to review. I have a five chapters written already, but I will hold on to them for dear life if I don't hear anything from you all. All I want is two reviews for this chapter to get the next. Pleeeeaaassseeee. **

I guess she has blown all her steam off by now, and has come to her senses.

How could she ever, ever think that any woman in the whole world could steal the affection that I have reserved only for her. Bella has never looked at herself as she should. She is by far the most beautiful woman that I have ever seen. She is kind and generous and takes care of me like a king. As I her.

I have found many couples like us. In love, planning a future, having babies, even purchasing homes together. But I have never witnessed with my own eyes the pure intensity that our love holds. The unmoving unshaken bond that draws us. That keeps us. She is the air I breath. I am literally lost without her. Breathless when she is not around.

The simplest of arguments that we have sometimes sends my world spiraling downward. Just the thought of never being able to hold her in my arms every night, or to whisper "I love you" after we make mad, passionate love until the wee hours of the morning does something immeasurable to me. It almost feels like fear. Rooted deep within me. Waiting to be acted upon. I need her to survive, just as she needs me. Just like gas needs a flame. There is no fire without both parts.

Ever since we were fourteen years old, and I stole my first kiss from her, she has been mine. There has always been an invisible stretchy chord that seems to connect us and draws us back together. Time and time again.

There has been many arguments, and even more break ups that always stem from the same source. Jealousy. Her jealousy.

She holds not only my heart, but my first kiss, my virginity, my sanity, my air. There is nothing that I have that I will not give her. Never. I would give my own life if it meant saving her. Allowing her beautiful presence to linger on this earth just a while longer. Never able to imagine me existing here with out her.

With all that I have given, I don't know nor understand her frustration with me. Granted, I am no fool. I know that the looks that I was born with draws people – women especially – to me. It is a varied occasion that Bella and I go out in the public and I not draw some willing female's attention or get passed a number or groped. This infuriates Bella. Not only is it disrespectful, but she thinks I enjoy this. I can no more help the way I look as my own birth date. My only assurance to her is that my eyes only belong to her. And I have never done anything to make her believe otherwise.

She also does not realize that she draws the same lustful eyes from men. But men approach Bella differently. They would never disrespect me while with her. I tower over her by a head and most people shy away from my muscular stance.

Men approach Bella as a friend. They smile. They make her laugh. They even offer studying with her. God forbid they know that she has problems in a subject that they are familiar with.

Now, she is different from me. I only see her. She sees me and who ever else shows her the attention she craves. I have never been able to put my finger on exactly what I would have to do to consistently maintain her attention. If I had one complaint...that would be it.

I just love her with every fiber of my being and knowing that any moment she could be stolen from me makes me sick to my stomach almost to throw up.

Maybe I have given her too much of myself. Leaving nothing to be desired. Nothing further to attain. But why would I hold back anything from her. Everyday, I try to imagine what I need to do to make her smile for me. How to make her happy. How to keep her eyes on me, only.

Over the years, there have been other men. I am not sure sexually. I never want to know, but definitely other men. She once left me for six months. Claiming she felt trapped with me. Smothered. She immediately used her free time to seek out a random man – not a gentleman – to try to attain. She pursued him. She called him, sent him gifts, laughed at his jokes, cooked him dinner and probably tried to give her heart to him. You may ask just how I know all of this...well, we share an apartment, and she did it right in front of me. It was like she was trying to see just how hard she could pull at my heart before it would burst.

During this time, I stayed in my room and never came out when she was there with him. I occupied my time with exercise, going home to Forks, and school. I never found the need or desire to find a female companion to pass time with. They would only be inadequate substitutes who would unsuccessfully win my attention.

My heart belongs to one girl. One girl only. I have tried to turn it off like you turn off hot and cold water, but it will not work. I know that she wanted me to stop my love. To not call her baby. To not wash her clothes and fix her dinner – which she would feed him. My love for her goes so far beyond her feelings for me or my own personal pain. It runs deep within me like a river. Replacing my actual flow of blood. There is not a part of me that does not long for her. She knows this. I will always forgive her. Always, always take her back. No matter what.

My Mom calls our love 'dangerous', I choose not to live without her with me in some way. What ever part of her that she will give me. I will take it. She has never denied me that. Some part of her. That was why she did not move out when she dated him those six months. I needed her. Any way she was willing to let me have her. I simply shut myself off. Concentrating only on her presence in the next room. Memorizing her smell. Her voice.

We, of course, got back together. He decided that she was too clingy and wanted more than he was willing to give. But she wanted way less than what I had already given to her. She cried for five straight days until she got him out of her system. It was me that bandaged those wounds. Holding her every night and days sometimes until she cried herself to sleep on my chest. I was happy just being able to hold her again. But not happy for her pain. The only thing I ever wanted was for her to be happy. Once she was over her crying spree, she shut me out again. Refused to look at me, speak to me, or answer my questions. She even refused to eat anything that I cooked for her.

Sometimes I feel like I want to burst. Pull all of my hair out and cry uncontrollably. But I would not do that. I would not allow myself to yield to the pain. I would be strong for her. She needed me to do this.

I still remember the day, months later when she came home. I was studying with a girl from class at the apartment for our finals. Bella came home and had the strangest look in her eyes. I could not place it. She had been so cold toward me for so long that I did not recognize that look. Maybe anger, jealousy, indifference. Who knows. She stormed into her room and slammed to door. She then began throwing things around, mumbling to herself and finally turning up her music the absolute loudest it would go. My study partner looked at me and began packing her things. She was married and had no time for the drama that was sure to erupt here. She left without a word.

I barged into Bella's room, slamming the door against the wall so hard that I heard the Sheetrock split, throwing the stereo blaring that horrible music to the ground with all the strength I had. I turned around to look at her with red in my eyes. Not from anger, but hurt. The pain that she constantly inflicted on me...intentionally. I gave in to my indifference. I fell to her feet crying, grabbing her around her calf, sobbing like a baby. Wanting to understand why. Why did she have to do this to me over and over and over. Did she enjoy it? I had enough. She broke me. I lay there eyes swollen, saying her name over and over. My body hunched over. Me giving in to all my broken feelings and failing heart. Hoping with everything I had that she would just talk to me. Even just acknowledge that I live in this house with her. And I am a friend. Anything other than this silence. This mean, sword piercing silence.

"Bella, I love you. Please Bella. Please Bella. Say something to me. Please don't leave me. Bella I need you. I love you." While sobbing harder. "I can't do this another day. Please Bella. You are everything to me. Bella I need you."

She stood there for what seemed like minutes while I begged and cried on her leg, seeming indifferent. "I have nothing more to give you. Please Bella. Forgive me."

It seemed like that did it for her. She dropped down to her knees and held me by my face, looking at me longingly. The same need in her eyes as mine. The same passion burning deep. She crushed her lips to mine roughly. Just sheer need in every kiss that she placed on mine. All I wanted to do was wisp her up and carry her to the bed and make these nine months go away. But I knew better. I would allow her to lead. To dictate to me how she wanted it. She kissed me with every bit of passion that she had given me our first time so long ago. She needed me. Her hands tangled in my hair. My hands grabbed her shirt. Lifting it slightly, exposing the skin on her lower back. I had to feel her. If only for another moment. I needed this. I could live with this. Our passion enclosed us. No one else existed in those moments. Nothing mattered. The hurt was gone. It was only her. My hands found her breasts. I released her lips so we could breath and moved on to her cheek, her jaw, her earlobe, her neck. I stopped there. She gave the most beautiful moan. Directing me to do that. Not to move from that spot. I continued touching any exposed skin that I was allowed. Her breast in my hands here firm and I ached to have them in my mouth. I pulled away from her neck, eying her, asking exit to her breasts. She nodded and when her nipple was in my mouth, I sucked it and knocked it around with my teeth, causing her to wrap her legs tightly around my hips and began pushing her hips into mine over and over. I continued sucking her nipples and changed warmly to the other. She was breathing hard, bucking against me and moaning my name. "Eeddward, oooohhhh, Eeddward." The way she said my name made something in me rise up, wanting more. She whispered, "More."

I know exactly what that means. I picked her up from the floor quickly, and gently placed her on the bed. I pulled her jeans off and paused, noticing that beautiful blue bra and panty set I bought her last month. I thought she had thrown it out. It was perfect. I marveled at her beauty as she gave me the most seductive look and twirled her hips at me. Oh, yes, she wants this. But no. not yet. I looked at her in the bra and panty set again and began kissing her navel and down her stomach. Down her hips. Down her thigh. She responded immediately. Opening her legs up to me. Silently asking for what she knew she needed. What she knew I needed.

After kissing her thighs, her knees, her calves and feet. Each and every toe I sucked. I made my way back to her center. I was so turned on by these panties. I debated leaving them on her. As I made my way up, I sat up a little and pulled the panties to the side and slipped two finger into her. Gaining a load moan, and her breathlessly calling my name. I was pleased at how she responded to me. I knew she loved me to suck her and work her insides with my fingers. I withdrew my fingers from her. She moaned, missing the loss. I looked at her and licked every single finger until she was removed from me.

"Eedddwardd," she whispered. I could see the flow of warm juices running from her center. I plunged the same two fingers into her again, pushed her panties further to the side and ran my lips across her slit over and over while I moved my fingers in and out of her. She grabbed my hair at the roots and pushed my head down between her legs. Now she asked for it. I began licking her pussy with a steady consistency, sucking her clit like I knew she liked it. Over and over sucking her. Feeling her wetness overtake me. Watching her open her legs wider for me. Knowing her climax was near. I stopped fingering her in and out. I kept it in and only moved my fingers. The moans coming out of her mouth were so lustful and needy. I wrapped my mouth completely around her clit again and sucked it until I felt her walls crashing in around my finger. I knew it was here. I sucked it one more time. I knew I had to brace her because she would run from me during her orgasms. I held her hip down with my free hand and she let go. I continued sucking and moving my fingers in her as she bucked under me, finally begging for more.

"Baby, I want you. I need you."

"What do you want Bella?" I asked.

"You know." She whispered.

"No baby. I don't know. I need you to tell me."

"No, Edward, I won't beg"

"Ok, well I can kiss you all over again until you tell me." I moved her panties over again and place my tongue deep in her pussy. In and out. She started screaming. Saying nothing at all. I looked up and asked, "Is this what you want."

"No, yes, no." She replied whispering slowly.

"Which is it baby? Yes or No?" I began doing it again. In and out of her. Only this time I sucked her hole also and her clit. I picked her ass up into my hands and buried my face in her. I could tell she was coming apart, but she _will_ tell me what she wants. I will not lose her again for not knowing what she wants or how she wants it. Plus, it was extremely fun teasing her.

She pulled my face up by the roots of my hair and whispered. "Baby please. Put it in me. I want to feel you inside me. Pllleeeez."

Now, that did it. My dick stood up harder than I've felt in a long time. I crawled on top of her and pushed my way into her effortlessly. I fit her perfectly. I began by taking my time, breaking every barrier that exited until I was pounding so deep into her that she released a new flow of wet arousal. Her whole body was shaking under me as I pulled out of her. Her face turned almost angry, feeling , missing the loss, and I quickly plunged back into her. Over and over. Harder and harder. I could feel my orgasm coming, but I denied it. She will come for me at least two more times before I allow myself one. I rolled over onto my back, taking her with me. She gave me a look and I said, "Don't worry baby, let me do this. Just relax and hold on to my chest." I lifted her small frame over my standing shaft and let her go on top of it. She screamed, "Edward, oooh, Edward. Fuck me baby. Fuck me." She knows that kind of talk pulls the animal out of me. I held her limp body on top of me while thrusting into her harder and harder, faster and faster. She took everything I gave her. She did manage to bite my chest and draw blood but that was ok. It only made me harder, and more excited. I placed her on my hip and used my fingers to play with her clit. She clinched sooo tight against my hard Dick. I had to hold mine back again.

"Come for me baby, again." I whispered. I began working my hips under her while rubbing on her clit. It wasn't long. I knew it was coming. Again, I held her hips in place as she began shivering and readying herself for this orgasm. I knew when it came. The new warmth and wetness around my dick told the whole story. I held her still as her body bucked and jerked over and over until she rode that high down. She is so damn sexy when she comes.

She was gasping for breath, mumbling a few uuuummmmss and smiled that smile at me that said to me. Edward if you don't come, I will make you. She knew that I never took my own pleasure more highly than hers. Watching her body as I go in and out of it and seeing her come was a great high for me alone. Her pleasure was my pleasure. Plus, she has one more in there for me. I flipped us over and stood to my feet. You could tell by the look on her face that she thought I was done. I grabbed her feet and roughly pulled them to me and pulled her upper body to a sitting position, then picking her up to me while I stood, holding her midair while her legs wrapped around my waist. I entered her effortlessly and said, "Bella, baby, you come for me one more time and I will come for you. Do you want me to come inside or out?"

"Inside," she said breathlessly. She grabbed my neck, tightened her legs around me and yelled, "Yes, Yes, Yes. Baby. Yes."

Her small frame was so easy to handle. I drove into her deeper than I had all night. I had complete control over her now and she knew it. Every entrance in felt deeper and deeper. In no time, I felt her tighten around me. Her breathing got sparatic and her body tensed completely. I wrapped my arms tightly around her and steadied myself for her orgasm. This one was by far the hardest orgasm tonight. She almost leaped out of my arms, forcing me quickly to my own. She was panting and screaming my name over and over that it sent me over the edge. While she was still riding her orgasm down, I came in her with a fury that only came from holding it through her three orgasms. My dick stiffened so hard that she froze from the mere size of it now plunging in and out of her with more power than ever. I didn't want to hurt her, but she had kept it from me for too long.

Once mine was over, my legs started to wobble and I dove toward the bed with her. She giggled and admitted something to me that I had waited all year to hear.

"Edward..." She put her head down. "I love you...with all my heart, soul, body and mind...I have missed you sooo much. I am so sorry I had to leave you to know how much I needed you. No one compares to you in any way." she began sobbing uncontrollably, acting as though I would not have her back. All she had to do was just say the word. "Baby, I need you...please don't leave ME. Please baby. I love you. I should have said this a month ago. I'm sooo sorry. Edward..." she looked at me. Tears flooding her beautiful eyes. Frowns crowding her beautiful features. "do you forgive me?"

I paused for a moment, trying to make sure I was not dreaming and smiled at her saying. "Bella, you are my whole world. I will always take you back. I need you to breath...to exist...never doubt that again. My heart breaks seeing you hurting like this. Me knowing that you think that I would have considered anything else but to take you immediately back. Baby..." I tilted her face toward mine, "I need you. YOU and only you are my whole world. I need you."

She buried her head in my chest holding me tightly for dear life. Like I would ever leave her if she wanted me. And cried herself to sleep.

After that night, the years seemed to have gotten better, until recently, maybe the last three months. Nothing that I do is right. I am entering my senior year in college. My classes are extremely tough and require a great deal of my time. She was also a Senior, and had a very heavy workload.

I asked her if I could bring a couple of study partners home today if it was ok with her. She agreed and they came over at the end of the day. It was two girls and another guy from class. We had spread out on our massive dining room table and was hard at work when Bella walked through the door. She eyed the four of us laughing and talking. She was infuriated. I'm not sure why, but it was clear that she was. She walked into our room and slammed the door.

Damn. These labs are killing me and I need this study time, but from past experience, I knew I needed to tackle this head on. I excused myself from the table and slowly entered our bedroom.

She didn't say a word, though that look remained on her face. "What is it baby?" I questioned. Still, no answer. I walked up to her and touched her shoulder. She shrugged me off. What the hell. I rarely argue with her. I always let her have her way, but tonight, I may have to let myself go with her. Finally, she answered after noticing the scrunched look on my face. Just like I did not like to argue with her, she did not like me screaming back at her.

"I hate how you always choose the most beautiful girls in class to 'study with'." She broke the silence. "What is going on here? This is a double date? I see the lines drawn across the table. How stupid do you think I am?" Her voice a bit louder than I would have chosen it to be. My mouth dropped open. Fuzz clouding my head. How could she see something like that at that table. I couldn't even tell at this moment what either of the girls had on, or how their hair was combed.

She grew annoyed at the dumb founded look and stomped off to her closet in the bathroom. She took out that sexy royal blue dress that she reserves just for me and laid it out on the bed along with her high heels that I bought her to wear just for when we make love. I was confused. What was she doing? "I'm going out." She stated matter-of -factly. I was frozen. I felt like someone had just jolted me with a ten thousand volt stun gun. How could she?

I didn't say another word. I left the room and returned to the table. My test was tomorrow and I needed this to be able to graduate. I would deal with this in a couple of hours.

About fifteen minutes later, Bella emerged in that sexy blue dress and those four inch heels with no panty hose and her hair and make up done flawlessly. She is so beautiful. She turned toward us, and without saying a word, turned around and placed her hand on the front door. I stood up and went to her asking which bar she would be going to. She hesitated, then told me. I told her I loved her. She huffed, then walked off. Smelling so damn good.

I returned to the table to study. Later, everyone left, and I was confident that I was ready for tomorrow. I looked at the clock and noticed it was 11:30 pm. Suddenly, my phone rang. It was Carmello, the bartender at the bar that watches Bella for me when I don't go with her. He was almost panicked when he told me that Bella had been talking to a guy. He didn't know how many drinks she had, but he did notice that she had stumbled earlier over a chair. The cause for his panic was that Bella was gone and her car was still there. He began apologizing, but that was not the worst of it. He knew the guy that Bella had been talking to. The guy frequents the bar, and there were unproven rumors that girls leave with him and sometimes never come back to the bar again. I knew what he was getting to. I asked him if he knew where the guy lived. He told me, and I hurried to my car.

I was unfamiliar with this part of town. Why would anyone live here? Deplorable was a kind word to describe the area. It was like everyone had just packed up and left. Abandoned buildings, broken windows, roofs falling in. Paper in the streets.

I arrived where I was told to go and saw the car that Carmello described to me. I called Bella's cell to ensure she was not at home and safe. No answer. I quickly hit my brakes, squeaking the loudest sound. I thrust myself out of the car. Anger flooding my entire being. I heard Bella screaming. I ran up to him and tackled him with everything I had. He attempted to fight me back, but he was no match for me. This spineless, filthy rapist could never hold a candle to me. I hit him with a blow that shocked even me, and he fell backwards into some cans against the wall. He was finish. He had no more fight. I saw him look up at me, then at Bella and a look overtook his features. Almost sinister. He enjoyed this. This was not his first time here. It disgusted me. I looked over to my Bella. Clothes torn, breasts and genitals exposed. Laying frail on the ground. I looked back at him and he said, "So hot. And wet. And tight. Uummm. Those breasts." He acted like he was about to cum just thinking about her, abd what he wanted to do to her. I lost it. I quickly approached him and hit him so hard in the face that it knocked two teeth from from his mouth, and his nose was bleeding. I crawled on top of him and started choking the air out of him. Allowing my anger to rule over me. Control me. He lay there limp. No fight or life left in him.

I sat there for a minute to compose myself for Bella.

I never wanted her to see me lose control like this. I dare him talk about her like that. Like she was just a piece of discarded trash to grovel over.

I stood up and noticed Bella had sat up and appeared afraid of me. She scooted tightly to the wall, covering herself up the best she could. I extended my hands out to her slowly. Letting her know that I would not hurt her. Fear was present in her eyes. It began drizzling and the cold was undeniable. I knew she needed to be covered. I took another step and suddenly, she looked at me with a look that changed several different times. First, it was like she had just realized it was me. Then, she appeared afraid again, but of what. Finally, I recognized that last look. One of shame.

I slowly removed my jacket and my shirt and stretched them out as I slowly approached her. She allowed me to wrap her in the clothes and I carefully picked her off the cold ground and brought her to my car. I turned the car on and put the heat on high.

I grabbed my wireless phone and called 911 to meet us here. I shut my phone.

I then grabbed the steering wheel, never looking at Bella, shaking my head. Trying to figure out what just happened. Replaying my anger in my head. My loss of control. I was so embarrassed. How could I ever face Bella again after I committed such a vengeful act. I murdered a man. How could she look at me the same.

I noticed Bella scoot closer to her door and balled into a knot. Drawing further and further away from me. I understood. Who could love a murderer. I was just as wrong and filthy as he was. Totally unable to control my own compulsions. What had I done?

The silence in the car was deafening.

From a distance, I heard the sirens approaching and got out the car.

The Police immediately began questioning me about what had happened to this dead man. I couldn't bring myself to lie to them. To tell them that it was just self defense. No. Bella saw what I did, and I would accept my punishment. No matter how harsh. I was handcuffed and was sat on a box.

I watched the paramedics bandage Bella up as she was asked questions also. All I saw was her shaking her head. Never looking at me.

The Coroner arrived on the scene to remove the body and I saw the look on Bella's face. Her mouth fell open and looked at me. She took out running to me, screaming at the Police for detaining me. Making her demands known.

"He was defending me." She shouted.

"Would you rather he raped me and had been able to live!"

"Edward!" They held her away from me. I looked down at the ground. Unable to face her for what I had done. I was so ashamed. She had to know now, if she hadn't before.

I was charged with Manslaughter and was sentances to three years in a state prison.

During my time in jail, I refused any correspondence from Bella and denied all visits. I could not face her after what I had done. She deserved more. Much more than a lowly murder.

My feelings no longer mattered to me. I tucked them away. Deep. Beyond many layers.

She was persistent though. What did she want from me?

I apologized to her before my sentencing and she boiled over crying uncontrollably begging the Judge to have mercy on me. That was the hardest day of my life. How could I have given her this much pain. She was inconsolable. She trembled at any touch, and fell apart time and time again behind me. Her eyes swollen. Her voice ragged. Her pain evident. Radiating from every part of her.

After about a year and a half years, she finally stopped. The guards even tried to talk to me, but I never let them get a word out to me. She had obviously been very resourceful and found out how to get to me. I denied it all.

I was almost relieved to not have constant reminders of her around me. It hindered my focus. Life inside the prison was rough and losing focus could mean me losing my life. I promised myself that I would do everything in my power to escape these walls alive. I would not allow more pain to be inflicted on her.

The nights were the hardest. I would dream of her. Her smile. Her smell. Her touch. I would wake up at night and my body would be aching for her. I always denied myself the pleasure of thinking of her like that just to get a release. I did this the entire time. I never, not once defiled her memory like that. I never released. Not even once. Someone as beautiful, and free as she is, should never have to be confined in a place like this. No. It was me, and me alone. I would not bring her in here. Not even in my mind. Oh, God. Will this aching and yearning ever stop?

Almost a year before my I finished serving my sentence, I received a call from the Judge that sentenced me to these three years. He explained to me that over these years, he has not been able to get Bella and me out of his head. How he envied our love. He asked me to forgive him for keeping me away from her for so long. Then he said that he would have my paperwork done for my release by January first. I was elated. I always knew the strength of our love, but I never noticed others that noticed it. I thanked him and the call disconnected.

My time was approaching, quicker than I thought. I called Alice. I knew her enthusiasm would excite me even more...it did just that. We talked until every dollar was spent on my account. I didn't care. I didn't need it anymore. Suddenly, reality hit me. I thought about life outside these bars. I was afraid. Afraid to face everyone that I left behind. Afraid to pick up the pieces of my life again. Afraid to face _her_ again. I knew it was only a matter of time. What was awaiting me...only time would tell.

The day of my release, Esme and Carliyle came to pick me. I had, years before, made her promise me to not tell Bella when I was getting out, and to never mention her or her life to me. This pained my Mom. She knew the insurmountable pain that I was in, and the pain that it caused Bella, but never pushed. She and my Dad supported me through the years and never blamed me for what I had done. Carlyle even told me that if it were Mom, he would never have considered anything different than what I had done. I heard that same thing time and time again while in jail when others, including the Guards, heard my story.

This did not make anything better for me. I was still a murderer. Justified or not.

And now, the one thing that I desired more than anything in the world was denied to me. I could never look into her loving eyes again, or hold her tightly in my arms. Knowing she would only see a filthy murderer.

We arrived at my parents home. It was quiet and peaceful just as I remembered. It looked slightly different, but I could not place what it was. Mom was always remodeling something. It should not surprise me.

My room was still the same, and Mom had even purchased me a new stereo set to go with my wall full of CD's. She had even brought all my things from our old apartment. As I walked around the room, something was different, but very familiar. A sweet smell. What is that? Anyway, Bella probably just let the apartment go. It probably just caused her too much pain. She always commented on how she could smell me all over the house. I chuckled at that memory.

I felt so at peace. Mom and Dad's house never, even when I was growing up held any amount of stress. They were the most loving parents. And the most beautiful couple. They maintained their love and affection all of these years. I guess that is where I learned it from.

I thought about all the happy years we spent in this house. All the laughs, the Christmases, Alice's baby's first birthday party. I allowed these feeling to envelope me. Allowing the love that flowed from my parents and my family to consume me.

I walked through the house to see all the new pictures of my sister and her kids and cousins that always hung on our walls.

I approached several pictures that were unfamiliar to me. They rested on the mantle next to a picture of Bella and I. Close family only got the go on this mantle. I guess things had changed. These babies were beautiful children and held a striking resemblance. One child was really light complected, but the other wore a olive complection that made her even more beautiful. Her complection reminded me of My Bella..I mean Bella. Both children had hazel eyes. A mixture between chocolate brown and green. I could not take my eyes off these babies. Something was familiar, but still distant.

I shrugged it off and decided to ask Mom later who these adorable babies were that got to sit on her famous mantle.

I was sure to hear about some pitiful woman that was in need that Mom just could not deny. I bet she actually fell in love with these children. It would not surprise me.

**A/N: OK, what do you think? Remember, I have other chapters already written and ready to be uploaded. Give me two reviews to get more. Thank you in advance! :D **


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3: My Carlie...My Brady**

**((((( Bella's POV )))))**

**Disclaimer: Remember, this all belongs to SM.**

**Hello all, I am really sad. Hundreds of you are reading this story, but no one is willing to give me just one review. I'm not asking for details, but a line or two would be nice. Just let me know that this is worth reading. I can go on to another story if this is a bad story line. Please...let me know one way or the other.**

**Now, I know I said that I would not post anymore until I got just two reviews, but it's Christmas and here is my gift to you. I hope you like it. Love ya'll.**

The trial was the longest and most excruciating event that I have ever witnessed. Edward's admittance of guilt before a judge and jury. How could he? How could he tell them the truth about what happened? Didn't he know they would take him away from me? He went there to save me from myself and destroyed himself in the process. He was willing to take anything that was given to him. I guess to get away from me. He must finally realize how truly dangerous I am. And he knows that he would never be able to stay away from me, otherwise.

Daily, Edward sat at his seat as a defendant. Speaking rarely to his lawyer. Always with his head down. Never once looking at me. He knew I was there, but never acknowledged me. Never a smile. Never a glance. Never. He spoke to his parents, but just barely them.

He hated me so much for making him do such a thing trying to defend me. Once again...coming to my rescue. The place where my heart use to beat has long dried up and the only feeling that remains is the shame that I have inflicted on myself and my Edward. Oh. How I wanted to pull him to me and apologize for not being what he needed. Apologize for allowing him to love me when I never once deserved it. He gave me everything that he had and still, I threw it to the side because I desired the chase. I didn't want his everything just given to me. I wanted to earn it. I wanted to deserve it. So stupid!

As far back as I can remember, Edward has made it his mission to keep me happy. My memory goes all the way back to maybe thirteen or fourteen. Boys back then never thought about us girls other than just a prize. A chase. If by chance you got one of them to say I love you, there was always stipulations. First on the list was your sex. They would commit just to get a chance with you. Edward was different. He was patient with me. He never gave me an ultimatum. He never ever spoke to me about sex. He was by far the most beautiful boy in High School, and he wanted me. Not just sexually though. Just all of me. He won his way into my heart, and spent every day since trying to keep his place.

Little did he know...it was me. I was trying to keep him. He could have any girl he wanted. Most would accept just a part of him...just to be able to be that intimate with him. He never once acknowledged them. Never accepted their phone numbers. Never.

I spend my days in court, and my nights alone. Our home reeking his smell. Everywhere room I go in...his scent lingers. I ache every moment away from him. I have _never_ had to be apart from him. Even when I dated others, I still got to keep him as close as I chose. He promised me that he would never leave me. Always make me happy. No matter what. What will I do? How will I go on? I don't think I will ever smile again.

I threw myself across our bed and screamed as loud as I possibly could, and cried his name over and over. I wished that my heart would just burst. Maybe the pain would be less. Suddenly, I felt sick to my stomach. I didn't care. I ignored it. Let it act anyway it liked. I deserve this all. The nausea became unbearable, and I ran to the bathroom. I threw up every bit of the little food I had forced down today. My head was swimming, and I felt like I could faint any moment. Suddenly, I was even more grieved. I went back to my bed and cried the rest of the night. Knowing tomorrow was the final day of hearings, and I would speak my peace to the judge and jury.

I got up around 6:00, having only slept maybe two hours. I was wabby and felt sick again. I was throwing up before I made my way to the toilet. What is wrong with me? Probably my nerves about today. I felt my tension rise, overtaking me. I refused to eat anything, knowing it would only make me sick again.

I made a pitiful attempt to put make up on my face and untangle my hair. I looked in the mirror again. Other than the obvious red eyes, my cheeks seemed to be even more blushed than usual. What ever. It would have to do.

I arrived early to the courthouse hoping to see him alone once more. The last time I was allowed alone with him in the back he only turned his back to me. I held him from the back and reminded him of how much I loved him, and how so sorry I was. He never responded. I understood. I knew that I had a lot of apologizing to do before he would ever even look at me again let alone speak to me.

They allowed me in the back once more. Over the past weeks, I had made it my business to become friendly with the guards and Lawyers. I knew they all wished we would later go further, but I used that to get next to Edward.

He looked up as I walked in the room and his expression fell three different levels. I smiled at him. He looked at me strange. Almost like there was something different about my face. I thought that maybe today he would hear me out and speak to me. But quickly after, he turned his back to me, again. My heart dropped. I needed him so much right now. I needed him to hold me, and tell me that everything would work out some how. I quickly realized that was not going to happen today. He hates me. He really hates me.

Traitor tears began streaming down my face. I promised myself I would not do this today. I stood frozen. "Edward," I whispered. "Edward, please, look at me." He never moved. My sobs became louder. "Edward, please." I ran to him, grabbing him around his waist. Burying my face in his chest. "Edward, please, don't do this. I need you. Please."

He never moved. He only turned his head to the side. As I cried into his chest, I took his scent in. The burn in my chest increased and my stomach turned. I ignored it as long as I could and released him and ran to the bathroom. Thankfully, the room had a restroom. I threw up the rest of what was in my stomach. Dry heaving the rest of the time. I cleaned up as fast as I could, the best I could. I did not want to waste a moment on my own drama.

I went back into the room. His eyes clearly looked pained. He looked at me. Clear with love and worry. I ran back to him. Holding on to him for dear life. He returned my affection. I did not care if it was because he probably did not want me that upset again. He still loved me. I convinced myself. I sobbed in his chest. Would everything be ok? I felt so secure in his arms. I never wanted this moment to end.

But too soon, he released me, placed his hand on my chin, and gently tilted my face toward him. His next words came as a dagger in my heart.

"Bella," He whispered. "My Bella. This can _never_ be again." My mouth fell open. When I began to protest, he placed a finger on my lips. "I will not allow you in that jail with me. I will not allow your letters, and I will not allow any messages to be sent to me. You will have the life that you have always dreamed of, and you will be happy. I will not cause you another moment's pain. Never again. This pain that you are feeling now is because of me and I promise..." He paused. "I will never make you feel again the way you felt that night." He paused again. "You never again have to feel like you have to do anything to injure yourself again. I accept my punishment. I need you to do the same. Go on with your life." I shook my head no. "Never look back. Never have regrets. I won't. Even though I allowed my love for you to consume me. I was doing what I thought was best for you. And for me. The only thing I ever wanted from our first kiss was to make you happy. I failed miserably. I am sooooooo sorry baby. I am so sorry. My only consolation is that _he_ is not out there anymore to hurt you or any other unsuspecting woman..." He paused and looked away. My tears still streaming down. My body shaking. My head shaking no. "Please understand what I am saying to you. Please do as I ask. This will be hard enough for me. I don't want you pausing your life for me." He looked at me again. "And I _do not _and I emphasize DO NOT want you in that jail. For any reason. Please Bella. If you have any ounce of compassion for me left. Please don't. Can you promise me?" He looked at me with pain in his eyes. Pleading his case. "Bella?"

"NO!" I said. "I will never do any of that! I have made mistake after mistake against you. Blaming you for everyone of them. All of that ends today! Edward..." I whispered. "You have been all that I have ever wanted. I was afraid. Afraid I would never be able to give back to you everything that you gave to me. I was so stupid. And so hurtful to you. I caused this..." I cried again into his chest. "I am so sorry...but...I refuse to do what you have asked. Not one single request. I will fight for you. I will never leave you. I will wait. I will..." he kissed me with such force that I almost lost my balance. My mind was hazy, my head was spinning and the burning love that I felt for him, and that he felt for me burned brighter and harder than ever. I finally realized that he is my good thing. All I ever needed. Our hearts would always be connected to each other.

He released me. Looked at me for seemed like hours. Like he was trying to figure something out. Suddenly he said... "No Bella. I love you, but I will stick to what I have said. If I have to sit in a jail cell. I will do it alone. I will not bring you in there. Not even a picture. I will not allow it. Your freedom is everything to me. I will do this alone. For you. For me. We will never speak of this again." He turned and walked to the window farthest in the room. He turned to look at me once more. Tears streaming down my face. My heart ripped out. My body fell to the ground. All I remember is waking up in an office and Esme and Carliyle and Alice calling my name. I looked around and Edward was gone.

"NO!" I screamed. "How could you take me from him! NO!" They all struggled to detain me in the small room. I ended up on the floor penned down, screaming at the top of my lungs. Wiggling trying to get free. "No..." I whispered.

After a while, I gave in and they released me. I had to compose myself. I had to appear before the judge in minutes. Alice helped me with my makeup and Esme with my outfit. I felt cold, empty. Unable to move properly.

This was very important...what I had to do. Esme asked, "Bella...where are your words that you will give to the jury?" She looked around.

"I did not need to write anything eloquent. This is my life Esme. My pain. My struggle. I know what I must say." Esme and Alice looked...concerned. They did not need to worry. I knew what I had to do.

We arrived in the court room just in time. I went to the center floor and began speaking. My tears streaming down from the beginning. My knees wanting to give out. Silence all over the room.

I told the Judge and Jury everything that was in my heart. Every good thing about Edward. How he loved me. Gave me everything. I told them about me, and how awful I am. And finally about that night. I reasoned with them that Edward snapped. He would never allow anyone to defile me like that and then laugh. Not condoning what he did, but asking their understanding on why he did it. I heard sobs behind me. Movement. The pain in the room was thick. I begged them to have mercy on Edward. He was not a bad person. He just loved me too much. I told them that was his worst crime.

After I finished, the judge asked if anyone else wanted to speak. No one answered.

I looked at Edward. He refused to look at me. He left his head hung down, shaking it. Grabbing every string of hair that he could hold. Oh my God...what have I done to him? If he goes to jail, how will he survive this? How will I?

The Judge told the Jury to go and make their decision. I stood up and reached across the wall and hugged Edward from the back. He knew it was me. But he never moved. I sobbed into his back and Carliyle pried my hands away from him.

The jury left and we waited impatiently in the waiting room.

Hours later, they had a verdict and we all returned to the courtroom.

"Guilty," was all I heard. I screamed from my seat and tightly grabbed my lower torso. Crying uncontrollably. Alice already had her arm around me, prepared for anything. She held me close. Knowing I would make a scene. "Alice...no! What will I do? Alice..." I sobbed more...all over her shirt.

"Edward!" I screamed. "I love you! Stop!" They were pulling me out of the courtroom kicking and screaming. I never heard his sentence.

Alice later told me that they gave him three years. The judge considered my words the day before and had mercy on him. "Mercy...Mercy!" I said to Alice. "How could that be mercy?" When Alice told me what the normal time would have been, I calmed down.

The only thing I pictured in my mind was Edward's face the last time I saw him. It was riddled in pain. But maybe even a tinge of relief. He stood up, never looking directly at me during my outburst. I must have really embarrassed him. I did not care. They took my life away from me. That bastard that tried to rape me is still destroying my life.

I went home alone. I refused to be around anyone that reminded me of him. I knew that all had to hate me for what I allowed. How they now knew how I have treated him. I could not take their pitiful eyes looking at me for another moment.

The days passed...even weeks. I had never returned to my life. I did only what I had to do to survive. I slept, I ate...very little, and I went to work...just barely. They felt sorry for me, so they never pressed. There was an evident gaping hole in my chest that only got better when I held it tight together. Sometimes I even stopped breathing for as long as I could because not breathing brought me a temporary relief. Usually I just allowed the pain to consume me. It was my constant reminder that he is real. That our love was real.

I have even ignored the constant sickness that has overtaken me. I knew I probably just had an ulcer from the stress that I kept alive in my body. I threw up once, maybe twice daily for weeks. At work, next to my car, at home. Sometimes even when I was not actively upset. Oh, well. I refuse to get it fixed. It also helped me remember him.

I tried to arrange a visit at the jail with Edward, but once they heard my name, they were forced to deny me. Edward had instructed them to not allow any visits from me. I wrote him daily. I never received any response. I even remembered some of the guys from the courthouse. I went there to see if they could get me in. But nothing. Everywhere I went were brick walls.

I finally went back to work. I was at my desk, standing up and suddenly, all I remember is waking up with my coworkers surrounding me, calling me, "Bella...Bella...are you ok? We called an ambulance. Bella...Bella." I could not move. What was wrong with me? As much as I wanted to just die, I knew that it would hurt Edward more, and I would not do that to him. I lay there, sick to my stomach. I rolled over and threw up all over Jacob, my co-worker, shoes. "Sorry." I said groggily.

The ambulance arrived and took me to the hospital. They took blood work, asked me tons of questions, did an ultrasound on my stomach, and left me in my room. Alice and Esme were there and held me tightly in the bed. I was so lucky to have them, even though I knew I did not deserve them. My family was so far away, but they called every chance they got.

Much later, the Doctor walked in, chart in hand. His next words were unbelievable. He said, "Ms. Swan...other than the fact that you are four months pregnant, I can't find anything else wrong with you. He continued looking down at his chart, flipping through pages, never looking at me. My mouth was fell open. "What did you just say to me?" I asked. He finally looked up at us. The three of us were in utter shock. He quickly knew that I had no idea. "Oh, I'm sorry Ms. Swan. You didn't know?" He asked. "No." I replied. My hands falling to my belly. I looked at Esme. Her eyes were full of hope and Alice sprang off the bed. Jumping up and down. "Bella a baby...a baby!" Her happiness finally rubbed off on me. "Yes, Alice, Esme...Edward's baby! Oh my God..." I paused. "Edward's baby." I whispered. "Did you say I am four months Doctor?" "Yes, and you should immediately get an Obstetrician to check on the baby to ensure its health. You have been without prenatal care for far too long."

His words rung deep within me. I remembered the past month and a half. I had barely been eating, crying constantly. Not exercising and not taking my vitamins that have been a regiment for me for years.

Tears began streaming down my face. I looked at Esme. "I can't lose this baby. I need it." Esme looked at me pained. "I know honey. I will make you an appointment right now." She called her Gynecologist and begged them for an appointment for tomorrow, with a sonogram. They agreed. When she got off the phone, she came back to the bed and hugged me like never before. She released me and leaned down to my belly. She whispered. "Mommy and grandma will do everything in our power to keep you safe and protected. We love you dearly." Her words cut me like a knife. So sweet, but so scary. What if could not protect it. What if I had already injured my baby. I instantly made a decision to calm myself down and not cause any unneeded stress on the baby. I was, after so long, so happy. Nothing could break this high. Edward will be so happy. Maybe he will change his mind about not seeing me. I needed him now more than ever.

The next day, Esme and Alice accompanied me to the Doctor. Their faces beaming with happiness. Some how they knew everything would be ok. But, they also did not know how I had treated my body since the trial.

The sonogram went extremely well. Well, better than well. Not only were we healthy, but I was pregnant with twins. Twins! I was having a girl and a boy. When the Doctor told us, Esme grabbed her heart and Alice grabbed my hand. "It is so much more than we expected." Esme told the Doctor. "Thank you so much." The Doctor left the room, allowing us our time, and me to get dressed. I never said a word. _Could God have forgiven me for all I did to Edward and have given me these little miracles. At a time when I needed them the most? _ I thought. I just laid there in shock while Alice and Esme removed the gel from my stomach and helped me get redressed.

"How could I have missed this?" I asked Alice and Esme. "I know that I have never been pregnant, but look at how large my stomach is. How could I have never noticed this?" I knew the answer though. _ I had been so wrapped up in me and how I felt, I never gave thought to what the underlying reason could have been for my daily sickness. When will I ever learn. Will I ever be able to stop only thinking in the moment and realize what has been before me the whole time?_

Esme cleared her throat, breaking my reverie. "Honey...none of that matters now. You are having two beautiful babies that will change your life forever. You have lots of time to make right decisions from now on. And know, I will be here for you...every step of the way. We will...Alice and I want this just as badly as you do. Edward will be so pleased." She rubbed my stomach and looked at me. "Bella, I'm sorry for that... mentioning Edward. Did I upset you?" She asked. "No...of course not...I am so glad that you are happy. I want him to know. I want him involved." She smiled. "Thank you, Bella." She said. "No, thank you." I said. "You have every right to hate me and turn your back on me. I love you Esme. And thank you."

The moment was so sweet. We hugged for a long while. I dressed and we left the office.

I asked Esme if she would let Edward know about the babies. He refused any form of contact with me. She happily agreed.

She and Alice went up to the jail that weekend for a visit with Edward. He accepted. Alice told me that when they got into the room with him, they were so happy to see one another and hugged and kissed. She said that Edward could see the looks on their faces. He knew they wanted to tell him something. They could barely keep their faces and emotions calm enough to speak. They knew he would be ecstatic when hearing the news. He stopped them immediately. He told them, rudely, if they desired to visit him, they were welcome, but what ever it was that they had to tell him...if it had anything to do with me that he was not interested. No matter the severity. When they tried to speak, he demand they stop and threatened cutting them off from visits if they pursued what they were thinking. They gave in. Knowing that they could approach this another day. He was so angry when he spoke that they did not want to press. They talked for a while and left.

I was so excited to hear about his excitement. It never crossed my mind that his reaction would have been so harsh. He must really hate me. He may even hate them because of me. The darkness, I felt it creeping back up on me. Inch by miserable inch. I am no good. Not for him or these babies. How would I ever do this alone. Alice touched my belly and looked me in the eyes. She could see the obvious pain that I felt, but she pressed on. "Bella. If Edward wants to be an ignorant Ass, then he can do that. We will not allow you to injure yourself or these babies. What ever you are thinking. Stop it right now. Get your Damn head out of the clouds and stay here for your babies. For us. We all need this as much as you. As much as him. He will come around. He will not be able to stay away from you forever." She smiled and gave me her sweet, puppy eyes. "Will you trust me on this Bella. Don't worry about anything. We will take care of you, and the babies. Forever if necessary. They are family. That's what family does. Ok Bella?" After that, how could I deny her. I smiled and gave her a great big hug. "Of course, Alice. I love you. Thank you so much. I don't feel so alone anymore. Thank you."

"Mom said that she wants you to come live with her during the pregnancy. If you would like. She can't think of anything other than those babies right now, and she wants to be close to you and them." I frowned. "Oh, come on Bella, it would make her so happy. She has already set up an account for you. To get what ever you want for you and for them. You won't have any worries. She promised to give you your space."

"But Alice..." I paused. "This apartment...all of our stuff...Edward's smell...our memories."

"Oh, Bella. Have you heard anything that I have said...you can keep it all if you like. Mom will take care of it. Please Bella."

"Ok, Alice. Anything for you. Thank you."

Over the next few weeks, we moved the things from the apartment that I needed, and some of Edward's stuff. I needed his smell with me.

The months went by smoothly. Esme and Carliyle were the sweetest most considerate people that I have ever met. They did everything they thought Edward would have done for me...plus some. They made my life happy, easy, fulfilled.

They never mentioned Edward to me and even asked if I preferred them to take his pictures down while I lived there. They were so sweet to me. I would never begrudge them their son.

But they knew. Every time I saw the pictures, my eyes would water. I missed him so much. The babies were due in three months, and were no closer to letting him know than before. He never let Esme or Alice visit again. He knew it would only be a matter of time before they would blurt it out. I don't understand what he thought they could want to tell him so bad. I guess he just did not want to reopen any wounds. His way of protecting himself.

Esme or Alice went to all my Doctor visits with me and began preparing for the babies. Esme asked...no begged me... not to leave her when the babies were born. She had prepared the most heavenly looking rooms for the babies. She actually tore walls down and painted the huge room half with pink clouds and the other blue clouds. She laced tool everywhere she could and installed real wood floors for the babies. She insisted the carpet carried germs and she was not having it for her babies. The room carried accessories of every kind. Nothing lacking. Nothing missing. Her taste is impeccable and her love infallible. Again, how could I say no to her. She even decorated the spare bedroom at our apartment for when the babies were there.

Somehow, she knew exactly what to for me. I guess she knew how Edward treated me. She never skipped a beat. Even though she and Alice could never be him, they ran a close second. Plus, I loved being around them.

At seven months, two weeks, one day, I had a Doctor's appoint. We were dressed, I was waddling to the car when I felt a gush of water flow from me. It was disgusting. I thought I had just went on myself. My face blushed as I looked at Alice. Her mouth fell and screamed at the top of her lungs to Esme and Carliyle. "Her water just broke! Hurry!" My water broke? But its too early. Fear over took me. "Alice." I said. "Don't worry. Everything is fine, Bella. Just relax and breathe. We will be to the hospital in moments." She said, smiling at me. Not hiding her excitement. "But Alice.. isn't it too early?" I asked. "No silly girl... remember the Doctor said that twins don't usually make their due date. That he would probably take them at eight months anyway."

I sighed roughly. The pain was bearable. The pressure between my legs indescribable. Carliyle swooped me up into his arms and carried me into the hospital. I giggled. The look on his face overtook the pain presently going on in my body. I giggled again, watching the comical motions he made, bumping into people, running into the wrong check in area, almost tripping over a cord. I just don't know what he was thinking. I held my belly, laughing hysterically, somehow forgetting about the tremendous amounts of pain shooting through my body.

The delivery was quick. I had not mentioned to Esme that for the last maybe ten hours that I had been having pain. We had been to the hospital too many times thinking I had been in labor when it was only Braxton Hicks. I did not want to spend four hours in the hospital again for nothing. Little did I know...it was the real thing.

Everything went perfect. We named the babies Carlie Renesmee and Brady Edward. They both had to carry the last name Swan, since Edward and I were not married. I could tell Esme was displeased about that, but what could I do?

**Alright all. Don't forget me. Let me know if I should continue on with this or let it fall to the wayside. **

**Merry Christmas!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4: Life after Edward**

**((((( Bella's POV )))))**

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in my story although I wish I did I do not. They belong to Stephanie Meyer.**

**A/N: OK all, I am really sad. I am writing this for you. But only two have taken time to let me know whether this is worth continuing or not. If you are shy, just send me a "yes" or "no". At least, I will know what you think. Your silence is discouraging me. I have eighteen chapters written, but I will find another site to post them, or just keep them to myself and go on to another story. So, for me, say something...thanks in advance.**

I went home three days later and my babies went home almost two months later. Despite being premature, they were perfect. The most beautiful babies that my eyes ever laid eyes on. Carlie looks just like me and Brady looks just like Edward.

As I promised Esme, I stayed at the Cullen home with my babies. Esme was the absolute perfect grandmother. So loving. So patient. So kind.

After about six months, I spoke to Esme about going back to work. I knew that she would object, but I felt like I needed to help provide for my own babies. She had set aside a substantial amount of money in my name only to buy anything my heart desired for years to come, but it was not just about the money. I had always taken care of myself. Now, I had my babies to care for. Plus, I enjoyed working.

Esme eventually gave up her argument and asked, if I had to work, if I would consider not sending them to a daycare, but leave them with her. "Actually, I wouldn't have it any other way." I told her. "I was trying to find a way to ask you." She smiled excitedly and pulled me into a hug and kiss. Her excitement always made me giggle.

The kids were her whole life now, and they adored her. She could make them smile before I could sometimes. Besides...who ever came into her presence without smiling.

I went to bed that night, and just like every other night, I lay next to Edward's picture and cried myself to sleep. It seemed worse now since I had our babies. I am here in _his_ parents home. Sleeping in his bed. Smelling _his_ scent all day. Taking care of _his_ babies. I miss him so much. I wonder if he thinks of me. I wonder when he returns home, if he will still deny me and our babies. Time seems to be passing slowly, but months have passed right by me. I have put everything I have into our babies during the day, and have reserved my nights for Edward.

I imagine him smiling at me. Kissing my forehead. Asking me what I want for breakfast. Squeezing me tightly in the morning and telling me he loves me. I can go on for hours sometimes with my memories. They calm me. They remind me at he is real. That our love is real.

I went back to work. The firm took me back without hesitation. I made them money, and that's all that really matters anyway. Jacob and Emily were so happy to see me. They bought me lunch today to celebrate my return. We talked, and laughed, and I showed them pictures of our babies.

The days seemed to go by quicker. Jake was really sweet and always offered a helping hand if I seemed to be overwhelmed. He always had something funny to say. With him, there was always a silver lining to every cloud. So, no pity parties with him. I grew to look forward to his smile when I got to work. Besides my babies smiles, it seemed to bring me a sense of happiness. His smile was intoxicating. I think he knew this. He made it his business to approach me with the same smile everyday. I was comfortable with him. He made things easier. There were days when I came to work when I had just had a bad night. My memories seemed to be fading of my Edward, and I would get so upset that once I got to work, I looked horrible. I was unable some days to concentrate on my work, and had to lie saying I felt sick. Jake always knew. He never mentioned Edward, but he knew. He never let a time pass when he wouldn't leave his work, run to the elevator to me and hold me silently while we descended to the first floor. I needed him in my life now. Every hurt seemed to disappear in his arms.

Months passed. My heart seemed to be...better. I got ready for work that morning, and walked downstairs. I heard Esme talking to Edward on the phone. He must have missed talking to her. I heard her say that she missed him too. I backed back into my bedroom. My gaping hole reopened and I felt weak at the knees. My eyes flooded with tears. I didn't know what to do. I called Jake. I told him what just happened, and that I didn't know if I could make it at work today. He agreed, but he asked if I could meet him at the park. He wanted to see me. I agreed, and left for the park.

I saw Jake approaching from a distance with my huge smile on his face. He was so beautiful. He grabbed me close in his embrace for what seemed like forever. He released me slightly and looked into my eyes.

"Bella..." He said pulling his eyebrows together. I smiled at him.

"Yes Jake."

"You know I love you right?" he asked.

"Of course, Jake."

"No Bella. I. Love. _You_." I pulled away from him, looking at him, shaking my head no.

"What?" My eyebrows now pulled together just as his were. "Jake...no...I..."

"I know...you love _him_. But Bella...Don't I make you happy? Couldn't you be happy with me? There is nothing that I wouldn't give you or your babies. I would accept them as my own. Love them as my own. Just because of you..."

"Stop Jake. I can't. I have done this wrong so many times to Edward. I won't betray his love or trust in me again. Never, Jake."

The look in his eyes were clearly pained, but I don't understand how he could allow himself to feel like this toward me. I am a train wreck that has already happened. My only sanity comes from my babies and my job.

"Bella, don't give me that." He said louder than I would prefer. "All those nights at work, you crying in my arms. All those dinners that you dressed up to come out with me. All my smiles that you looked forward to in the morning. Every time I hugged you close just when you needed me. Are you telling me that you have no feelings for me?" My mouth dropped. "I am willing to take you like you are. You don't have to change for me. Never Bella. Please Bella...consider what I'm saying to you. I love you. I have been in love before, and I know I have never felt this way about another."

I was speechless. There was a strange tingling in my chest from his words. I didn't recognize it. I felt...warm. Regardless. I sighed hard. "Jacob...Jake...you mean the world to me. I do love you, but not like that. You are my best friend. My rock. I can't do this to you or to myself or my children or Esme. I have too much to lose, and too many people that will get hurt. I am so sorry Jake if I have given you any indication that I felt the same. I am truly sorry." I looked at him in his eyes. There was something there that I recognized. Before I could move, he planted the warmest, sweetest kiss on me. I stood there frozen for what seemed like minutes. He smelled so good. His warm breath on my lips felt so good. And his strong embrace...I finally kissed him back. He pulled me close, not leaving any room between us. His kisses were soft, but serious, and full of passion. The way he tasted in my mouth sent chills through me that I had not felt in so long. I let myself go in his arms. I returned every eager lick and suck that he gave me. He swooped me up into his arms, and began walking with me. Where we were going was no concern of mine. I did not want this moment to end. Next thing I knew, we were in his limo. He laid me down under him and slid his hand under me, under my shirt, on the bare skin on my back. He never let up kissing me. I felt fire rise up in me flowing down to my core. My mind started racing. I remembered the last time I felt like this. How Edward had touched and kissed every inch of me. How he called my name over and over again while we made love. How he tasted so good in my mouth. I released my lips from Jacob and looked into his eyes. All I saw was raw lust. He smiled at me. I shook my head no. He wasn't listening. He crushed his lips into mine again. That's when I got angry.

"Jacob! Stop. No. I will not do this today with you!" He never released his lips from mine. His embrace seeming tighter. "Will you just take it Jacob?" I whispered.

He let me go. His mouth open from shock. "You think I would do that to you, Bella? After I know what you have been through?" A tear falling from his eyes. "Bella..." He paused and looked away. "I'm so sorry that you even had to ask me that. I don't know what came over me." I pulled his face to me.

"Jake. I didn't make things better...responding the way I did. I don't know what came over me, either."

"Are you saying that you do have feelings for me?" He asked.

"I don't know Jake. You woke something up in me that I let die long ago. Don't make me lie to you, nor promise something that I may never be able to deliver. I still mean what I said earlier, Jake."

He smiled. "Well, we'll just see about that." He straightened up, and asked his driver to take me back to my car. I looked at him. I could tell this was far from over.

**A/N: I know, I know, I know...short. I have a part two to this chapter if you would like to read. Let me know what you think. What do you think Ms. Bella will do with Jake?**


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5: What will I do with him?**

**((((( Bella's POV )))))**

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in my story although I wish I did I do not. They belong to Stephanie Meyer.**

**Alright all, thanks for the reviews and the wonderful words on the PM. Here comes the drama. I hope you're ready.**

Everyday, Jake would find some reason to make me smile. If it weren't his personal smiles or his warm embrace, it was a single white lily on my desk, or an invitation to dinner or just something silly that only he could say to make me laugh.

Jake could have any woman he chose. And he wastes his time on me. What's even worse...I feel very connected to him. Secure. Sweet. Desirable. The gaping hole that has been open for so long in my chest seems to feel better. Ever since that day in the park, he has never again tried to kiss me or touch me in any way other than sweet. He still pulls me into his embrace, and he kisses my forehead, but that is the extent of it. I don't know why I even allow this. Knowing if Edward called today...this would all be a distant memory.

Jake knows it. He dismisses any mention that I make of it, and continues on.

I must admit. His interest in me is drawing me. I fight daily to maintain my faithfulness to Edward. I know that I could never really love Jacob, but physically, it's tempting.

When the twins made one, I decided to start spending more time at my apartment. They would still stay with Esme during the day, but I would have them at night after work. Sometimes I had to pry them out of Esme's hands. I do not know whose worse. Them holding on to her, or her holding on to them. Sometimes, at the end of the day, I am so tired that I just go over to visit them. The actual effort it takes removing them is a bit much sometimes. So, I just leave them. She loves them so much. It's only fair to let her keep them sometimes.

Staying at our apartment got easier for me. Loneliness still crept into bed with me every night, but it was OK. I still reserved my nights for Edward. Nothing ever changed. The gaping hole reopened every night...regardless to what Jake had tried that day to make make laugh or keep me happy.

The twins got up early the next morning. Around four o'clock in the morning. They called for Nanna...Nanna? They wanted Esme. After cuddling with them and feeding them, I put them back to bed. Thank God I did not have to be to work until twelve o'clock today. Jake rearranged my schedule so I could get accustomed to dressing, feeding and getting two babies out the house. Around seven, I heard a knock on the door. It was Esme. She came over to help get the twins ready. Thank God. What would I do without her. She put the twins in the stroller, and was off with them. They were doing a Nanna and me day. The park, new outfits and shoes, then a whole afternoon of Barney. She asked if she could keep them over night, since I would not get off until late.

The day went by as usual. Jake somehow rewrote his schedule also so we worked all day together. We were also working on the same cases now. I'm sure this was no coincidence. I never asked.

At the end of the day, we had not finished, and our deadline was in two days. Jake suggested we stay later, or just work from home. I really wanted to get out of these clothes. I suggested we go home and finish. We got into our separate cars with our workloads and went home. About forty five minutes later, I heard a knock on my door. Esme? I looked out the peep hole. It was Jake. I paused. I knew it would be a bad idea to invite him in, but I opened the door anyway.

As soon as he stepped in the door, he crushed his lips on mine, grabbing me in a full embrace. I wanted him to stop, but my mouth would not say what my mind told it to. He felt so good. I returned his embrace and his passionate kisses. He whisked me up into his arms and walked to the sofa where he sat and placed me on his lap. His kisses were intense. Every bit of love that he had for me flowed through them. It was endearing. He licked my bottom lip, asking for entrance. I paused. But I accepted the invitation. His taste in my mouth set me on fire, everywhere. I crawled on his lap and kissed him until I felt dizzy. I felt his hands under my shirt on my back and his rising erection between my legs. He gently massaged my back and arms. Not leaving any part of my exposed skin unattended. I took my shirt off. Needing to feel him closer. He removed his. _Damn!_ I thought. I'd never seen Jake shirtless. His body was chiseled like a Greek god. The color of his skin was beautifully tanned and he was so warm. He popped my bra off and gently massaged my breasts. He removed his lips from me and began kissing every piece of me that he could reach, starting with my neck. He worked his way down. One hand on my breasts, the other on my hips. His mouth made its way to my breast and gently kissed it, and put it in his mouth. I moaned loudly. It's been so long since my body has been touched like this. He finished my left breast and did the same to the right. He was so gentle. He took his time with every movement that he made. He readjusted his hips, and his shaft was placed exactly between my folds under my skirt, through his panties. My heart started racing. I was excited. But not really sure exactly how I would allow this to play out. He grabbed by hips and stood to his feet. He crushed his lips back to mine and took me to the bedroom. He lay me gently on the bed and crawled on top of me. He removed his pants, but not his underwear. He then removed my skirt and went for my underwear. Before he removed them, he paused, looking at me to see if it was alright. I shook my head.

There I lay...naked before him. His eyes visually tracing every part of me over and over. He came down and kissed my nipples again and every part of my upper body. I could tell that he was not in a hurry. Every kiss, every touch was just as gentle and sweet as the last. Jake began kissing my belly button and my stomach all around. His hand came up my thigh and rested at the very top of my thigh, at the crease, while kissing still every part of my stomach. I was burning at the stake. I could feel my wetness pouring out of me.

He moved his head down slowly kissing, and touched my wet core. He moved his fingers slowly though my folds, touching my clit, over and over. His head continued down and grabbed both of my thighs, placing them on his shoulder. He paused for a moment between my legs, looking directly at my heated core. Then he took a deep breath and held it. I knew he was smelling my lust. It turned me completely on watching him do that. "Jake" I moaned. He placed one finger in me, then two, while slowly moving in and out of me. "Jake" I moaned again. He opened his mouth and placed it directly around my clit. He sucked and licked it repeatedly in a steady motion that he had to know would only have one definite ending. "Oh, Jake, Jake" I moaned repeatedly. He was really good at this. And he knew it. I could tell the way he did it. With confidence. I tried to hold my orgasm to experience this and all its greatness, but he looked up at me and said. "Bella...I won't stop until you cum for me. I know you're holding back. I feel it all around my fingers." With that, he returned to sucking me in just the right spot and wiggling his fingers just the way I like it. "Jake...hold me..." was all I could get out. My orgasm rolled through me like a giant explosion. I wiggled and pulled and screamed as I rode this high. He never let me go. Neither did he remove his lips from me.

As I relaxed, he removed his fingers from me, and put them in this mouth. I watched him such each finger clean. Suddenly, I remembered Edward. That little move right there would send me over the top with Edward. We had made multiple of hours of love making just from that one move. My heart leaped. _What am I doing! _I screamed in my head. _No!_ Jake came back up, and kissed me sweetly on the lips, rubbing his rock hard shaft against my core. _How could I deny him me now? He'll never accept my no. I've gone way too far. Damn. Dumb ass me. I've done it again._ In another situation that I don't know how to get out of. Jacob rolled. us over, and knocked Edward's picture – face up – on the floor. He never noticed. I froze. Tears streaming down my face.

"Bella." He said. Pausing, looking at me. "Bella?" Whats wrong baby? You don't have to be worried about any thing. I will be gentle. I promise. I know its been a long time for you." I burst out into tears, leaning forward, sobbing onto his chest. Uncontrollably. "Bella! Bella! Did I hurt you baby? Did you not want me to do that to you? Baby, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry" Clearly he was about the freak out, thinking he had done the wrong thing to me. I looked up into his face. Tears streaming down. He was clearly in pain, thinking he had done way more than I wanted him to. I knew he would never rush me or force me. I wanted him just as much as he wanted me. Maybe more.

"Jake..." I said. Jake rolled over, placing me on my side, close to his chest. He looked behind him, looking for some cover for us and noticed Edward's picture turned up on the floor. "Ohhh." He said lowly. "Bella. Baby. It's OK I understand. You love him..." He took my chin, and I looked at him. "But you do have feelings for me too, right?" I paused. "Yes, Jake. I do. But I don't know if its enough to give you any hope." I sat up, Indian crossed my legs, and looked at him. "Jake...I really wanted you tonight. Needed you tonight. Please believe me you did nothing wrong. You ignited a fire within me that has long been gone." I put my head down. "Jakey...I'm the one sorry. I feel like I have used you. You did all that for me to flake out on you." Tears streaming down my eyes. "I am so hopeless. I don't deserve you or your love."

Jacob leaned up on his elbow facing me. He chuckled. "Bella...my Bella girl, I wish I could let you see you through my eyes. Through the eyes of every man that comes in contact with you. You are nothing like the way you see yourself. Bella...look at me. I will wait for you. Until you send me away. I will be here. And I definitely do not want you just for your sex. I could get the from anywhere a hundred times over. What I did to you tonight..." He paused, looking down. "I have only been with one other woman. I was engaged to her for four years. I lost my virginity to her and she is the only woman to date that I have ever slept with." My mouth fell open. "Really Jake?" "Yep...its not like I couldn't I just have chose not to. Its been two years since our break up. It took me almost all of it to get past it. Until you." He smiled.

How could I not feel for this man? He is so considerate. Passionate. Understanding. Looking at him, he only had two things wrong with him. And those things were really my problems. First, he wanted my heart, fully. It was not mine to be given. Second, He was not Edward. "Jake...I have to wait. I have to tell him about our children, and give him a chance to decide his course. I owe that to him." Jake looked down then back up to me. He sighed deeply. "I understand Bella. I really do. I would never want you to commit to me if you could not do it fully, with your whole heart. And sex would be my way of you committing to me. I don't think you could give me your body fully without giving me your heart. That much I know about you. So...I'll wait...like I said I would. But I will pursue you. With everything I have. That's the best I can promise you." He smiled.

"Jake..." He placed a finger over my lips. "Lets go get some work done. Maybe a couple of hours. We don't have work until twelve tomorrow afternoon." He got up with all his naked glory. _My god...that man's fine._ I thought. OK_ Bella...put your head in the game. _I took a quick shower and met him at the table. We worked into the wee hours of the morning. No awkwardness. No trace that tonight even happened.

When I couldn't keep my head up another moment, I told him I was done for the night. I asked him if he would like to stay. Of course he accepted.

Fully clothed, he crawled into my bed, pulled me close to him, kissed my forehead and closed his eyes. He was asleep in moments. I lay there now fully awake. How could he be this close to me and not need to do anything. "Bella.." He said. He must have noticed my breathing increase. "It's because I love you...I love you." He said groggily. My heart skipped a beat. He acted like he could hear what I was thinking. How should I handle this? If I don't put brakes to this...I will fall in love with this man. And I can't have that.

When Jake was fully asleep, I slipped out of his arms and went to the bathroom... just in case he decides to roll over and hold me again. I slipped out the other door of the bathroom into my kids room. I slept on the futon.

The morning came. We both woke up pretty late. He woke me up brushing his hand across my cheek, smiling. "Good morning, Bella."

"Morning, Jake."

"Do you need to talk to me about anything?" He asked.

I sat up. "Jake, last night, when you got in the bed and held me close. And..."

"And what?" Jake pushed.

"And you were able to just lay there and hold me like that after what almost happened just hours before..."

"Yes." He pushed again.

"Well, suddenly, I felt the love that you have for me flow through every part of me." He smiled. "And I knew then that if I didn't move and if I don't..." I paused again.

"If you don't..." He pressed. I put my head down and took a deep breath.

"Put some space between us...I _will_ fall in love with you." I began crying. He sat next to me, holding me. "Oh, Jake. Its not that I don't think that you would be perfect for me, but I can't hurt you. You are too good for that. For me." Jake kissed my forehead.

"Bella...I'm a big boy. I can handle what ever you throw out. I am in this with my eyes wide open. I know what I'm doing. I understand that I may not have a chance in hell, but you are worth the risk taken. And I will take it. Nothing that you can say to me will change my mind. If you don't want me to sleep with you in the bed...that's fine. No harm done."

"Oh, Jake...please...don't do this. Please Jake." I looked up and he was right in my face. My heart got all warm throughout. I kissed him. Hard. He returned my kisses, but stopped us and smiled. "Bella..." He chuckled. "We have plenty of time for that." Chuckling again. "I love you silly girl." I smiled and stood up. He left shortly after to get ready for work.

About six months passed. Jake and my relationship seemed to only be growing...getting more intense. We never returned to the activities of that one night, we never even kissed again, but he slept with me almost every night since, when I was at the apartment.

Everyday, he reminded me of his love for me. The single lily still perfectly placed on my desk. Everyone telling me how great a catch he is. Him holding me. Especially when he knew something was off with me. He always knew. He trained himself to read me. To monitor my every mood. It was endearing, but I began to want to return those feelings back to him. I found myself dreaming about him and Edward, standing side by side. Pain evident in both their faces. Me on the other side. Unable to make a decision. I got afraid.

I called in to work for a week. I claimed I had to go check on my Dad in New York. Jake called me throughout the day, everyday. I never answered. He never came to the apartment because he believed I was out of town. No matter the distance I intended putting between us, it was no use. I was in way too deep, and I had to pull out...completely. Even if it means quitting my job, and completely cutting Jake off.

I went to Esme. I needed to talk. I knew she could help. I told her everything that has happened over the past months. I also explained my possible feelings for him. I even told her about my dreams, and my every night with Edward.

"Mom, what am I going to do? I never want to hurt Edward again."

"Bella, you are at a point where you can go both ways. Since you have not slept with him, you are not connected to him. What do you feel in your heart?"

"I do not know. Well, I know I love Edward. And if he still wants me, then my choice is made. I would never leave him for anyone, ever. I think I am just scared to be alone. If I let Jake go, and Edward denies me and our children, then who will I have? I am terrified to raise these children alone. I do not know what I would have done to date without you, Carliyle and Alice. I am such a train wreck. And an even worse mother."

I put my head down. I began pondering over what I just admitted. I had never really thought about it like that, but deep down, I knew that if Edward rejected me, I still had someone to lean on. And I wanted the possibility open, just in case. But, this was not fair to Jacob. He was investing all of his time, and his heart into me. And, for what?

"What am I going to do?"

Esme pulled me close. "It sounds to me, honey, that you know the answer. You know what you need to do. The question is will you? Will you do what is right for each of you." She pulled back, and looked me in the face. "Bella, I know you will do the right thing. Trust your heart. It will not lie to you. Oh, and Bella, you are a wonderful mother. Your children adore you."

After that conversation, I knew what I had to do. I had a plan. I went back to work. Testing myself to see if the intensity had wore off. Jake came in. He smiled at me. Obviously happy to see me. He swooped me up in a big old hug, and swung me around. _Oh, man._ I thought. _He feels so good next to me. Oh, he smells soooo good. Man, all of this could be mine... _ I actually missed him too. I only realized after I saw him. I knew then what I had to do. It would be extremely hard, separating myself from him, but I simply had do it. I had no other choice.

I now realize that I do love Jacob, but not enough to choose him over Edward, nor could I see myself with him in a long term relationship. Trying to hold on to him, just for my own selfish reasons would definitely be wrong.

The day went by fast, so I decided to do it the next day.

I was so happy to see my babies after work. They were so giddy and looked to have gotten bigger from just this morning. We laughed together, and rolled on the floor. They said, "Ma ma, I mitd woo." My heart almost leaped out. They are so loving and seemed to have inherited their grandmother's sweetness. I am such a lucky woman.

Afraid to go back home to have to face Jake again, I asked Esme if I could sleep over a couple of nights. She reminded me that I chose to leave. She never wanted me to. I smiled and kissed her, and took the twins to bathe, and back to my room.

"Ma ma..." Carlie asked. "Da da home? Da da home!" I froze. What did she just say? Is he here? Could he be coming home? I had never talked to them about their father. I never wanted them to get their hopes up if Edward denied them. Who would have said this to them? My blood started to boil. I smiled at Carlie, kissed her, and put them both in their room.

I went downstairs to find Esme.

She and Alice were downstairs washing dishes. I walked in the kitchen and asked... "Who told Carlie about Edward coming home?" They both looked at me, and put their heads down. "Well?" "Alice answered. "Bella, I did not know that they shouldn't know. It never crossed my mind. Bella, I'm so sorry."

I shook my head. Clearing it from the haze that filled me when Carlie mentioned him to me.

"What exactly did you tell them?" I asked.

"Well, Bella, yesterday, Edward called me after all this time and was chatting. He said he received a call from the Judge that sentenced him. He said the Judge never forgot about him and you and your love for one another..."

"...and?"

"and he has shortened Edwards sentence. He will be home January first." I froze.

"What did you just say?"

"Bella, he will be home in January!"

My knees buckled. I held on to the stool. They ran over to me, getting me some water. "This is not funny Alice. Please don't play with me."

"January, Bella!" She was smiling from ear to ear.

"OK...wait. You still have not told me what happened with Carlie."

"Well, I came here to tell Mom earlier and Carlie and Brady were playing. Carlie came up to me excited I guess because I was. I picked her up in the air and said. 'Daddy's coming home! Daddy's coming home!' It was when she paused, and looked at me with confusion that I knew. She said 'Poppie come home?' Bella, I think she thought that Dad was her daddy. She began asking me many questions about who Da Da was, and how I knew him. She asked me if Da da loved her. I replied. 'Of course honey. Who wouldn't.' I started tickling her after that to lighten the mood. I'm so sorry Bella."

I put my head down and started sobbing. "Alice..." I paused, crying. "What if you're wrong. What if he denies them because of me. What if he can not love them? What if he leaves. We never spoke of kids all those years. What if he doesn't want kids. Oh, Alice." She held her arms around me and just kept apologizing, but she had no answers for me. Her only consolation was that we would see soon enough.

The very next day, I handed in my resignation to Jacob, and had to hear the whole day about how unnecessary it was for me to quit. He promised he would back off. I knew better. He would try, but there is obviously a strong bonding connection between the two of us that could only be dealt with by separation. I tried my best to explain to him, but he didn't let up. He waited until I got off, and asked me out to a late dinner. He knew the answer already, but it didn't matter to him. He just wanted to talk. The place was irrelevant.

"Bella..." He looked at me like he was sure he was about to lose me. Almost panic. "What happened? Tell me straight." Looking at him, I knew this was the exact opposite of what he wanted to hear, but he deserved to know. I told him about the night before, and what Alice had told me. His eyes widened and returned sad. He hung his head like I've never seen him do before. "So that's it, Bella?" Barely as a whisper. "You have to completely separate yourself from me, hoping your feelings for me will cut themselves off? We both know that will never work. Love does not cut off that easily." He said.

"Jake, what would you suggest I do? Yes...If you want me to admit that I love you...Yes I do. If you want me to admit that I will miss you...I will. If you want me to admit that I wish things had been different between us...I do. But Jakey...what does that change? Everything I just said is the absolute truth, and is absolute fact. But, I still have to do what I told you in the beginning. Edward has spent those years in prison for defending _me_. Do you know that sometimes, I look at you, and I believe that you would do the same thing for me." His eyes widened. "Don't deny it Jake. You are the exact same with me as Edward was. The same compassion. The same patience. The same love. That's why its been so hard for me to leave you. And so easy for me to love you."

He crushed his lips to me with such fierceness and such passion that I returned his gesture immediately. He enclosed me in his massive arms, tightly. And whispered in my ear. "You can run Bella. Go where ever you like. I will still be here for you. You can call me anytime. If I can't be your love, I will settle being your friend. I _never_ want you completely out of my life. Please, Bella. Don't do that to me."

"Jake..."

"Shhhh, baby. Please Bella." He whispered, still holding me tightly.

"Jake I..." I looked up at him. Tears ran down both his cheeks. How could I do this to this beautiful man. "Alright, Jakey. What ever you like. But I still have to resign. Do you understand, Jake?"

He hugged me tighter. "Thank you, Bella. Thank you." Tears clearly in his voice.

I worked out my resignation. I had padded it to make sure they found someone to replace me before I officially was gone. It took a little over a month. At work, Jake did just as he promised. He laid off. No more of my smiles in the morning. No more single lily's, no more personal jokes. It was like we were just good friends. Emily started eating with me again. We had become really good friends before Jacob, but he consumed so much of my day that I barely had personal time to spend with her. I really missed her company.

The only thing that Jake could not hide was his hurt. Even though he attempted to hide it, it only showed out worse. He was miserable. He still smiled, but it never reached his eyes any more. He began calling in to work at least two or three times a week. Some days he did not shave, and his usual clean cut persona was out the door. I felt so bad. But what else could I do? It would only be worse if I allow this to go further, and hurt him later. I simply tried my best to ignore him.

We still talked over the phone, daily at first. Then, I began spacing it out to every two or three days, then finally once a week. I was getting desperate to cut this connection off. Jacob had showed up at my doorstep several times, begging me to reconsider. Professing his love for me.

Once he saw I was not budging, and began spacing out the calls, he let up...a little.

One night, I was getting grocery out the car, and he showed up. He had three dozens of roses in his hand, and he wore my smile. I was actually happy to see him, but I did not show it in my face. All of this time had passed, and still no change with him. He only seems to be getting more attached, or should I say holding on tighter than ever. I actually thought for a moment how great it would be to have the both of them. But, I immediately dismissed that foolishness. I did invite him in to place the flowers down. He took this as an opportunity to kiss me, touch me and try to have sex. He knew just how to approach me, kiss me in just the right places, touch me...so sweetly. I felt myself warming up to his touches. Being drawn in. Wanting him. Needing him.

"Stop, Jake! You already know what you do to me, and that I do want you. But that still does not change what I said. I will not do this with you. I just can not, Jake. Please, stop making me hurt you. You are allowing your heart to be drawn in tighter and tighter. Knowing I will hurt you every time. Why? Why do that to yourself?"

"Bella, don't you see? There is not a piece of me that does not crave you. Want you completely. I love you. I need you in my life." He came close again, holding me tight, then let go. "I honestly do not know why I do this. All I know is I love you, and I want you to pick us. Bella, I could make you happy. I promise I could. The world would be yours to choose. You know I lack no resources. Plus, you would have me. Completely. You already hold my heart in your hands, whether you want to or not. So, I commit to give you everything I have. Every piece of my love. I dedicate myself to you. Wholly and completely, Bella. Please, consider me.

"Jake, you have to stop this. You are scaring me. You told me you understood the time I need. What will you do if I choose to stay with Edward?"

"I have never considered that choice. I do not know, exactly. But, I do know that it will hurt terribly. My life without you in it will not be a life I would enjoy having. Could we still be friends? Would you still talk to me? Take my calls?"

"Jake, I can try. Do not make me lie to you. I want to talk to you, but I just do not know. Jakie, I need you to prepare yourself for either possibility. This is not healthy. You have to love yourself more than this. Don't let me use you."

"Use me, Dammit! Please!" Jake smiled, lightening what he just said. "Bella, I find it hard to breathe sometimes at night without you. My world seems to be crashing down right before me. I feel so lost." His eyes reflected extreme sadness. I stepped to him and hugged him.

"Jake, please, please, do this for me. Try to relax those thoughts, and lets try to work had to keep our friendship in tact. Can we do that?"

He agreed, but I clearly saw new gleams of hope shining throughout his eyes. I sighed. I just do not know how this will all play out in the end.

The months passed, and it was Christmas. It was an absolutely beautiful day. The twins had a blast. They got so many things, that I decided to have them open some tomorrow. We were all watching television that night, and I turned to Esme and Carliyle. I smiled the best I could. Hoping to receive a positive response from them. "Can I ask you two a question? Can we talk?"

"Sure Bella, anything." Carliyle said. Esme smiled.

"I've been thinking about what I should do about Edward's return next week. It may be too much on him to come home to me, and two children at the same time. I think I should move back into my apartment, bring all his things here, and let things work themselves out, slowly. None of us know what to expect from him, and I will not have my babies caught in the crossfire. Since I'm not working right now, maybe I could keep the kids for a while, until you two have an opportunity to tell him what has happened these last years." I paused. They both smiled.

"Bella, that is a much better plan than the one I had." Carliyle chuckled while saying. "I was going to go pick him up to come home, then blurt it out. Never giving him a chance to cut me off. And let the chips fall where they may." We all laughed.

"No Carliyle. Lets do it my way and everyone may make it out unscathed." We all laughed again.

"Bella, you won't leave with my babies, will you? Regardless to what Edward decides?" Esme asked.

I took a deep breath, then looked at her. I knew in my heart that if I did something like that it would break her heart. She has been nothing but good to me and my kids. It was just that I personally could not imagine having Edward that close to me, and not be able to talk with him, touch him, love him. This would prove to be the hardest thing I have ever done in my life if he decides against me or our children.

That weekend, I moved completely out. Leaving no trace that I was ever there. I even asked them to put the baby toys away in their room until they told him. I was trying to approach this from every angle in my mind. I was so nervous. I couldn't get past the unsettled feeling in my stomach. I knew my whole life would change next week. Regardless to his decision. I would be left either full of hope, or completely hopeless.

The day arrived. I spoke to Esme this morning. She made me promise her that no matter Edward's decision that I would never take her babies away from her. I told her I would never do that to her, but it would be a hard promise to keep if he denied them. She understood, but insisted.

She called me when they were leaving home to go get him. I waited. My babies had heard us talking about this for the last week, so now, they constantly came up to me saying...da da da da ma ma ma ma. Singing it all over the house. I thought it was cute. But, oh, how I wish I knew what would happen by the end of today.

**A/N: Alright all. I hope you liked it. I know...I know. Jacob touched Bella sexually. But, he never penetrated. I hope everyone is not too mad at me. I had to do it to move on to the future chapters. It will all tie in, trust me. Please don't leave me here. Remember, this is story is about Bella/Edward. I'm really excited to see Edward home!**

**Also, please review. Don't be lazy. A simple word would do. I know you love me. Show me.**

**REVIEW!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6: Edward's Home**

**((((( Edward's POV )))))**

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in my story although I wish I did I do not. They belong to Stephanie Myer.**

**Well everyone, no one said anything about chapter 5. I'll either take it that you hated it, or no one is reading the story. I'm posting Chapter six now to see if anyone is still interested. **

**If not, that's alright. This is my first fan fiction any way. Thanks for reading up to this point. :( I have enjoyed reading the reviews, and want to thank anyone that has stayed with me until now. I'll go on to another story that may hold my readers. Thanks for everything. Smooches.**

God, it is so nice to be home. Even just the smell of the house gives me a warm and cozy feeling. I went outside on the back porch after putting my things down. This use to be my favorite place to be when I was a child. I would swing on one of the many free hanging swings, covered from the sun all day sometimes.

When I got the be a teenager, Bella was here. She loved it too. We would cuddle for what seemed like forever out here. No one ever bothered us. Everything was really perfect back then. We had a love that was sure to stand the tests of time.

I eventually took a walk around the lot, getting lost in its beauty. Thinking of Bella. It had been really easy while I was in jail to shut her out of my mind. The place was vile, and I never wanted to soil her memory. But now, for some reason, her presence is all consuming. I remember her smile, the way she walks, how beautiful she looks when she wakes up, and has her hair pulled up in a band. Even her smell.

Wait, I finally realized that the familiar smell was in my room. It was Bella. It confused me. Why would I so clearly smell her? And it was not just in my room. She had been in most of the house.

My heart ached, accelerating at every thought. I can't allow this. I won't. I have to stand my ground. I will not ruin her life again. No matter the cause. My parents promised me they would not do this. They promised not to tell her. Why?

I took our running through the woods. Passing tree after tree, jumping over ones that had fallen, pushing harder and harder forward.

Instantly, it was all clear to me. I knew what I had to do. I must leave. Go elsewhere, and restart my life. Free from any temptation from her or my parents. Of course, I would have to do it suddenly. My mother would never have it if she knew. Everything would be easier for everyone. And, I would never have to worry about hurting my Bella...Bella...again.

Its amazing how after all this time, I still think of her so lovingly. It's almost like no time has past. No healing has taken place. She is still wrapped so tight around my heart that just thinking about not being with her causes me extreme physical pain. I need her so badly. Her smile, her touch, her smell. Wow. I have not thought about Bella like this since before prison. But now... I took in a deep breath. What will I do? I know what I have promised my self. What I must do. I wonder to myself if I leave, will I really be able to stay away from her. But how will I act if I actually place my eyes on her? I already know...I will act like a little beggar, and plead my case with her until she takes me back. How hard would it really be?

I wonder if she moved on as I asked her to. She is such a beautiful woman. I know someone has seen it, and tried to make her theirs. She really deserves that. A happy life. Free from me, and my obsessive behavior. But I know that if she has not moved on, she, nor I will hold her distance. _Ohhhmmmm.._. I can feel her just through my thoughts. _Snap out of it Edward. What is wrong with you! _I thought.

Bella probably has a new life of her own that does not include me. Plenty of time has past, and she always needed arms around her to sleep. Plus, with her being so beautiful, who would allow her to be alone for so long. My own thoughts stung. The thought of someone else touching her. Taking her love. Her body. It sickened me. But this is what I wanted, right? For her to be happy? For her to move on with her life. For me to find a new start.

I definitely have to finish school. I was so close. It would allow me to do anything, and go anywhere I like. I know Mom and Dad has my sister and me set financially where we never have to work, but I still would like to help make my own way.

I sat deep in the woods for hours, pondering my next move. Willing myself to be strong enough to leave her. For good. My thoughts rocked back and forth, continuously. In the end, I knew that I needed to give it a rest. She was winning, and I was not having that. Why does it have to be so hard? Why can't I just walk away. It's almost like something is holding me, keeping me here. I knew exactly what is was. Our love. My deepest desire was to be with her. Love her like she should be. With that thought, I made my decision. I would leave tonight. That way, there would be no temptation for me to fight. Nothing making it harder than it already was.

The sun was setting. I made my way back to the house. I looked through the house once again, noticing what had caught my eye earlier.

It was a wall upstairs. Even though a wall remained, it was extended. The cubby that held Mom's beautiful grandfather clock was gone. I turned around, looking for the clock. It was in the hallway leading to the kitchen. Why would Mom do that? Very strange. I walked up the stairs. My curiosity peaking. Dad came from his room with a strange look in his eyes, trying to smile through it. Mom came also, slowly. My heart dropped. "What! What is it! Are one of you sick? What!" They put their hands out to me, palms out. "Edward. No. Of course not." Mom said. "So what is it?" I asked. Still almost panicked. They seemed unable to speak, making these moments even worse. "Dad?"

"Son, come with us." He commanded.

"I most certainly will not. Tell me what ever it is, and get it over with Dad." I looked down at Mom's hand and noticed a picture. It seemed to be the children that I noticed on the mantle from earlier with a dark haired woman. I couldn't make her out before Mom pulled to picture to her. "Mom?" I whispered. The pain was evident in her eyes. Tears welled up in her eyes, and fell in streams. Dad walked up to me and gently nudged my arm to follow him. He was going in the same direction that I was headed. They are acting like this because of a room? What could it be? While walking, Dad grabbed Mom by he hand, and handed her a tissue. Quietly assuring her that everything would be OK. Why would he say that to her? What would be OK?

We arrived at the door. Mom was still crying and Dad appeared shaken, but firm. Dad looked at me. I still couldn't understand why, and with such pain. I felt weak in the knees. Finally, Dad spoke.

"Edward, we have something to show you, and something to tell you. We need you to be open about what we are going to say to you. Please, hear us out. Can you do that for your Mother without becoming too angry or leaving? This is very important, and effects all of us." Dad paused, waiting on my answer.

I looked at him. Was it about the kids on the mantle? Why would I care, even if they had decided to adopt, or let someone live here? This is stupid. "OK Dad." I replied lazily, rolling my eyes.

He opened the door. It was a beautiful room. Pink on one side and Blue on the other. It obviously belonged to the babies I saw. I still don't understand why I would care. I went along with them though, looking around the room. I paused. Why did I smell Bella in this room? Very clearly. I looked around some more and noticed beautiful pictures of the babies. Mom always loved baby pictures. I kept looking at each picture. In my peripheral view, I could have sworn I saw Bella on one of the pictures. I looked at Mom and Dad, and walked to the picture. It was her, holding the babies, in a soft, warm embrace. The babies appeared to be younger than that babies on the mantle, maybe by a year. I picked the picture up.

"Is this why you are acting so weird? What? You have her holding your babies? You adopted?" My brows pulled together, confused. "What do you expect me to say? Mom? Dad?"

Dad looked at Mom. Mom gave him the go ahead.

"Son, these are not our babies... per se" he paused. Well, I knew they weren't their biological babies, or Alice's babies. So, what now?

"I don't understand."

"Son have you looked at those children? Who do they look like?" I looked at the picture in my hands with Bella and the two babies. Studying their every character. My eyes widened. Tears welling up in my eyes.

"Mom?...No!... Mom?" I fell to my knees. Balling over on the ground, hugging the picture tightly to me. I cried like a child. It all made sense. Bella's sickness during the trial, her passing out, Mom and Alice excited to tell me something shortly after, Bella making attempt after attempt to contact me. Bella's smell in this house. In my room. In here.

Mom came over to me on the ground and held me. Dad, behind her, supporting her.

"Yes, baby, they are yours, and we love them with all our hearts." Mom said. "I'm so sorry Edward. I'm so sorry for never forcing you to hear me out. I know I should have, but you were so adamant. I'm so sorry." She leaned down, crying into my hair.

I sat back up. Tears coming from every place possible. I looked at Dad. He shook his head, yes. I sat there, staring at the picture for what seemed like forever.

Mom said. "Edward, do you want to know their names?" She was still crying. Probably as hard as me. I shook my head yes. She pointed to the picture. "This is Carlie Renesmee, and this is Brady Edward." I looked up at her. Confusion, desire in my eyes. "Yes, son, she still loves you dearly. Maybe even more now than before. She has not moved on. She tried, but never could. Especially, looking at these beautiful babies everyday. And them reminding her of you."

I put my head down in shame. Mom lifted my head back up. "Edward." She said extremely firm. This was odd coming from mom. "You _will_ stop what you are thinking _immediately_." She was holding her gaze in my eyes firmly. "This girl has not only denied love because of you, but has dedicated herself to you, and to us. All for the sake of these children. I will not allow you to alienate Carlie, Brady, or Bella, for any reason. Regardless to what you believe you did as being wrong, you saved Bella's life, and the life of _your_ unborn children. He would have had her and discarded her like trash. Leaving these babies to die..."

She paused, sucking her tears in. Her voice cracking. "Son, Bella forgives you. In fact, she never saw anything you ever did wrong. She was the one ashamed for putting you in that situation to feel like you had to do that." I looked at Dad.

"She's right Son. Every word of it." Dad replied. "We have taken care of Bella, and those babies ever since we knew she was pregnant. Your Mom insisted she stay here. We could not allow her, or both of your destructive ways to hinder the lives of Carlie and Brady. Your Mom begged Bella to stay with us even after the births." He smiled. "No one can resist Esme when she wants something bad enough." He chuckled.

"Bella stays _here_?" I asked.

"Well, yes and no." Mom said. "She did up until this past weekend. She decided to go back to the apartment with the twins to give you some time to adjust. She wanted your transition to be as smooth as possible. To be honest with you, she believes that you may not accept the children because of your disgust for her. She has had to deal with that shame every time she looks at Carlie and Brady. Every night, she lays down in your room, with your picture next to her, crying herself to sleep. She does not know that we know that, but it is hard to miss. This has gone on nightly, for years, Edward.

And, now, since Carlie and Brady are saying 'da da,' it is even harder for her. If you deny her, you deny your children...Carlie and Brady. If you leave, you leave them too. And we never raised you to not be there for your family. Now, Edward, what are _you_ going to do? Both of you have made a mess of this, but the time has come to make it right." Mom's firmness returning. Mom stood up, and looked at me, angrily. "Like I said before, Edward. I will not allow you to disrespect, or to alienate Carlie, Brady, or Bella. They are a forever part of this family. I am warning you Edward. Tread softly. Or it will be me that you will fear. Me that you will want to get away from."

I put my head down, afraid to look at my mom. Knowing her words were exactly right. I don't know what I would have done without my dad in my life. I cried into my hands. Mom walked out without another word.

"Son, we will give you as much time as you need to come to terms with this, but consider your actions, and your words from this point on. I did not raise you to abandon your children, or your responsibilities." Dad said also firmly. "We love you, but will only tolerate you if you do the right thing here. Your decision should be easily made."

The door shut quietly behind them.

"This changes everything." I whispered, looking down at the picture again. Memorizing every feature in their little faces. In Bella's. I got up and noticed the more recent pictures. Carlie looks just like Bella. Now, and when Bella was young. Brady looks just like me. My same hair color. My smile. I went to the clothes closet, and saw the rows and rows of clothes. Most still brand new with tags. I pulled one out and smelled it. "Oh, God, how could this all have gotten so twisted, so badly." I whispered into the clothes.

I thought back to my days in jail. How I cut everyone off. Insisting on not knowing anything about Bella, or my children. Trying to protect her. I did worse to her than I ever thought. She endured a long pregnancy...alone...and with twins. I shook the images out of my head. She has to resent me. I treated her like she was unimportant. Filthy. Undeserving of my love. Tears began streaming down my face once again. "I love her so much." I whispered. "I love them...so much." Just thinking those words brought butterflies into my stomach. I have never met Carlie and Brady, but there is already an immeasurable love within me that is undeniable for them. _I have to meet them. I have to make this right._ I thought. But fear took over. I know my parents said that Bella forgives me, but how do I approach this? Just the thought of speaking to her sent waves of warmth, but fear through me. It has been so long.

I got up, going to find Mom and Dad to ask when would be a good time to meet Carlie and Brady. I heard mom on the phone, on the back porch. Obviously, with Bella. She was asking about the twins, and telling her to calm down. That everything would work itself out. I could tell how much Esme loved Bella, and the twins simply by listening to her speak to Bella.

Over our years together, Mom always cared for Bella, but they obviously have created a bond that even I couldn't break. I backed up. Not wanting yet to face Bella and her wrath. I went to find Dad. "Dad! Where are you!" I called.

"In here Son." He called. I went into his office.

"Dad, what should I do. Please help me." I begged.

"Son, the answer is as simple to me as breathing. But I'm sure the simple route is not the route that you will be taking." Dad said.

"And the simple route is what?" I asked confused. Like I was missing something.

"Edward. I would go to Bella, or allow her to come here. Greet Bella first, and then meet your children..." He paused, shaking his head. "Edward. Are you worried that she will be angry with you? That she will cause a scene, and force you to justify your actions? Because, if you are, you are wrong. She would willingly pick up from two years ago like nothing happened. You are the one with the problem...not her. Like your mom said, Bella has lived daily with the shame that this was all her fault. That she took you away from us, from Carlie and Brady. That she didn't treat you right. That she doesn't deserve you. Now Edward. We both know that you two have a lot to work out. I won't lie to you about that, or try to lighten it, but I can say that I know her love for you..." He paused. "First hand." He had a strange look on his face but said no more.

"What Dad? I could tell he didn't want to say any more, but I pressed. "What Dad? Tell me." Dad seemed to consider his next words. He paused for a long time. Finally speaking.

"Son, remember when your Mom told you about how Bella tried to move on?" I shook yes. "Well, Bella, less than a year ago, tried dating a guy from work." He looked at me. Pain evident in my face. He continued. "She was very upfront with us, and even asked our approval. We of course would not deny her, Edward. She was so lonely, and longing for you. Me and your Mom did all we could. We treated her exactly like we thought you would. She was pampered and loved and never judged. One night, she came back home. She was very upset. She had told Esme that she would be in late, or maybe not at all. She was considering moving back into her apartment at the time. Well, when she arrived, I heard her crying, and woke Esme to go talk to her. The man...I think his name is Jacob...kissed her, and even pulled her close in his embrace. She did respond to his advances, but suddenly, something he did reminded her of you. She froze. The man stopped, apologized and smiled at her. Everything he did that night totally reminded her of you. She told him what the problem was, and he was very understanding. He knew her story already, having worked with her since before that horrible night. She cried for days after that. She even called in to work. But he was persistent. And even more patient." Dad stopped, looking at me. Wondering if he should continue.

"Go ahead Dad. I'm fine. I caused this. Let me know what I'm facing." I took a deep breath.

"Well, as the months went on, he never tried that again. I think he genuinely loves Bella and would wait for her to sort her feelings out. But..."

"But..."

"But Bella does not love him. She only liked that he treated her like you did. She felt horrible for using him, knowing it could never go any further. Then one day, she came home, and the twins called your name. Over and over and over. Her face fell. Somehow just that small act by the twins changed her mind completely. She moved back in here, resigned from her job and refuses to speak to Jacob other than every now and then. Maybe once or twice a month since then. She said that she would never allow her children to be around any other man...neither would she allow them to call anyone else daddy."

"Did she love him, Dad?"

"Well I can't say she did not, but if she did, it would never be enough to sustain her. Especially considering her children. She has really changed since the twins. Her whole perspective is different. About almost everything. She is stronger. More caring and considerate. And she puts them above all else. Esme and I have truly fallen in love with her, too. Edward, I hope you do the right thing by her. You will break Bella, and destroy your mother in the process. If Bella leaves, your mother will never forgive you. Some how, your mother knows that Bella will leave with them. Bella's pain will be too much for her to stay here...and Edward, she may end up with Jacob. Carlie and Brady calling him 'Daddy'. Do you want that?"

"Thanks for the pressure, Dad." I said sarcastically.

"Well, all I can tell you is how it is, Son."

"Can I meet them?"

"Of course, when?" 

"Tomorrow? Its so late, and I don't want Bella out there with Carlie and Brady this late."

"Son..." He paused. "Never mind."

"What Dad?"

"There will never be a good time, or a best time. Please don't drag this out. Your mother will go get them herself if you don't. She has not seen them in two days. Believe me, she was not playing. She has to see them everyday. Don't make her do something drastic. And have you unprepared." He smiled and left the room. I called him back.

"Dad, do you think it would be best if I speak to Bella first. Maybe face her tonight, by phone, then they can come over tomorrow?"

"Son, that would be great. She will be so happy. Your Mom, I mean." He chuckled. I smiled.

"Can I have her number?"

"Its the same number as before. Same apartment." I tilted my head to the side.

"But how?" I asked.

"Edward. I told you. We took care of Bella. In every way. Your mom wanted it to be like you never left for her. Bella even has her own back account with a small fortune in it. Your mom would not allow her to struggle, or want for anything, ever. She gave her it to her so that she could live for many, many years with out working or struggling. Of course Bella denied it, and insisted on working, we agreed, but lied to her, insisting the bank would take twenty percent of the money yearly if the money was left untouched. We knew Bella didn't know any different, and would never think to check the truth of our words. But, she got around us. She deposited her checks into the account, and used the majority of her money for her needs. Barely touching the money from your mom." Dad chuckled. "She is very clever."

"Wow. Dad. I have missed so much."

"I told you. She _has _changed, but feisty Bella is still there." He laughed at his own words.

I went into my room to prepare myself for my conversation with Bella. What would I say to her. How would I even begin? I decided to not worry about it, and made the call. She deserves an explanation. She should never fell unwanted or unloved. I love her more than anything. After all, I did all this for her.

The phone began to ring. My nerves were definitely getting the best of me. My hands were all clammy, and little beads of sweat were forming on my brow. The acceleration of my heart increased with every ring.

"Esme..." Bella answered. I paused. Wondering if I should just hang up. I opened my mouth, but no words came out. Butterflies were in my stomach, and I felt like a school boy talking to a girl for the first time. "Hello..." She paused for a moment. "Edward?"

"Hello, Bella."

**If you are interested still in my story, let me know. If you have reviewed in the past, let me know you're still out there. **


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7: Da Da home**

**((((( Edward's POV )))))**

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in my story although I wish I did I do not. They belong to Stephanie Myer.**

**Alright everyone. This chapter is for** **bzwifenmom24-7. Thanks so much for your kind words. I was wondering if the story effected anyone like it did me when I was writing it. I am posting this chapter tonight for you. Here's what you asked for. I hope you enjoy it! It's kind of long.**

"Edward! Baby!" I could hear the smile in her voice. "Oh, Edward, I was so nervous! I am so glad you called me!"

I waited patiently for her to finish. I was so excited too, but I had to make my peace with her before I could really celebrate with her.

"Bella..." I paused.

"Yes, Edward."

"I'm so sorry. I'm so very sorry, baby. I didn't know, and I didn't give you a chance to tell me. I'm so sorry." My voice clearly breaking up from tears. Just hearing her voice completely overwhelmed me. My emotions were all over the place. This was way more than I expected.

She paused as I composed myself. "Edward, baby, I understand. You never have to apologize to me for any of this, ever. I have missed you so much. All I know right now is that you are home, and I just could not be happier. I love you so much, baby." She was sobbing into the phone now with me.

"And I you, more than anything." My heart skipped a beat. I hadn't allowed myself to love her willingly for so long. I forgot how good it felt. How natural it came to me.

"Oh, Edward. I was so scared. It is me that should be apologizing to you."

"Scared of what? Apologize to me for what? You know I have never been able to deny you."

"But you did." She cried. "The whole two years. I thought that you had stopped loving me. You were never able before, when you loved me, to deny me anything." She whispered while crying.

"Bella, I told you, before the sentencing. I did not want you in that jail. Not in my thoughts, not in person, not by picture. You are too good to ever be brought into a place like that. At night, when I would sleep, my body would try to betray me. I would wake up like I would when you were next to me...you know right?"

"Yes." Still sobbing.

"Well, I have denied myself even that. Bella, I thought I was protecting you. I thought you wanted, and needed a new life. One free to do as you pleased. To find love the way you wanted love. To love who you chose."

"Oh, Edward." Trying to clear her cracking voice. "I'm so sorry I ever made you feel like you were not all I ever wanted. I was so stupid. So unappreciative of the love that I took for granted for so long. You gave me everything, and I gave you nothing. Nothing, but heartache. I was so mean to you. Baby, I am so sorry for that. It was that foolishness that got us here today. I hate myself for doing that to you."

"Bella, we were so young when we got together. I knew what I wanted. I knew you did not, but I pushed you into staying with me. Forcing your hand when you were not ready. I thought that if I loved you enough...even too much, that I would be enough for you. I went about it all wrong. You should have been free to go as you pleased, and made your own choices about who you wanted to be with. For that, I am sorry, too."

She became quiet at my words. I had more to say, but the quietness scared me. I pondered over what I had just said. Maybe I offended her. I never intended that.

"Bella?"

"I'm here. The truth of your words just hit me really hard. Edward...I was so stupid. I never wanted to have you out of my life. I have always loved you. I just thought that we would never last. You are so smart, and beautiful, and rich, and could have any girl you wanted. I had nothing to offer you other than me. And I knew that there were much prettier girls than me. I just never thought I was good enough for you. I knew you deserved better. Much better. That is why I would get so jealous when you chose your study partners. They were all so beautiful. I would see them around campus. I knew how the men noticed those particular girls."

"Bella, have I ever given you any reason to think like that?"

"Absolutely not." I could tell she was crying by the break in her voice.

"Then, why, Bella?"

"Edward, I, I just told you."

"Bella, I have loved you from the day I met you. My love only intensified over the years. I never saw any of those women like I see you. They knew that. Plus, if I had even the smallest thought that they were interested in me, I would never have invited them into our home, nor anywhere else. Bella, I only have eyes for you. I always have. You hold my heart. My virginity. My love. Forever. You always have. Don't you see?"

"I do now. I know now. I can't imagine my self ever without you again. Please forgive me baby. Please reconsider us. I promise. It will be different this time."

"Bella, I do not know. So much has happened. I still love you, but I'm not sure if we can go forward. There has been so much hurt. So much pain. How could we ever go past it? Don't you think it would be better if I just left. We could still communicate, and, of course I would take care of our children. Bella, I think it would be best."

She began boiling over on the phone. Her sobbing cut straight through me like a knife. "Edward, please, please don't leave me, again. I will do anything. I can't go another day without you, let alone a lifetime. Please, tell me what you want, what you need, and I will be that for you. Anything, please, don't leave me." She stuttered through every word.

I knew at that moment that I could never leave her. I could never hurt her like that again, but what was I to do. If I stay, I could hurt her even worse. Force her again to do what she is not happy with.

Bella was still pleading with me on the line.

"Bella..." I whispered. "I would love that more than anything. Are you sure that this is what you want? I never want to force you into anything again. We can take it as slow as you like. I can't promise though that I have changed. Anything less than giving my all to you won't be acceptable for me. You may still not want that."

She giggled, shyly. "Edward...have you heard anything I said? I understand now. After living with your parents these past years, I couldn't imagine anything better. Watching them love each other, the kindness and compassion between them. Loving each other like they are still teenagers. Giving their all to each other, freely. Never holding back. Needing each other to breathe. To exist..." She paused and lowered her voice. "I truly understand now. I owe them my life, my sanity, and my love. They never with held anything from me, either. They knew I could disappear any day, but never let that hinder the love they shared with me. I love them, too, with all my heart."

I began weeping in the phone. I felt like I was coming apart at the seams. Had these horrible years I spent had a purpose? Could I really get Bella back? Could I really have my family together?

"Baby, don't...please." She said, breaking my thoughts. "If you continue, I will pack these kids in the car, and come over there. You have no reason to feel sad. You saved my life. You saved the lives of _our_ children. You helped me grow up, and stop being so selfish. You taught me how to love...the right way. I hold no ill will toward you. I appreciate you. I love you."

"Bella...don't...I still made a decision to kill a man that could have otherwise lived. I took his life, because I couldn't control myself. What if I ever got mad at you, or our children? I couldn't live with myself if I ever hurt any of you."

"Dammit, Edward! Dammit!" I heard her rummaging around her house. "That bastard would have killed me! Maybe that day or some other. And if not me, so other woman! What you did was not solely out of a loss of self control, but for your love for me! Your anger came from him being blatantly disrespectful to me! Not just your loss of self control, Edward! I will not sit on this phone another second with you if you insist on being like this!" She practically screamed at me. She paused. I heard her still rummaging, doors opening and closing.

"Bella...what are you doing?"

"I am coming over there. We will settle this once and for all, tonight. I will not allow this talk from you another moment. Edward...would you do anything different if you could go back to that night?"

I didn't know how to answer her. What kind of question was that? I paused a long while.

"Edward? Answer me now!"

"No." I whispered.

"I hoped not. I know you have to live with what you did, but I also have to live knowing I caused it all. Edward, I have forgiven myself. I need you to do the same. And I hope you forgive me, also."

"Of course I do. I always did."

"Well, what's the problem? I'm coming over there."

"Bella, no. Don't."

"You don't want to see me?" She asked sadly.

"Of course I do, baby. But not at the expense of taking the twins out. It is too late, and is unnecessary. I will stop. Plus, we have tomorrow. I am really excited to see you and Carlie and Brady."

"Do you want to know about them, Edward?" I heard her movement stop.

"More than anything." I replied.

We talked all night about Carlie and Brady, her pregnancy, her living with my parents, their first words, their first teeth. The first time they smiled. When they started walking. She also later remembered to tell me that she had video of it all. She and Alice thought that maybe one day I may want to see it. They were right. I grew to love them just from speaking with Bella. Her voice would light up every time she mentioned their names. She was such a great mom. I could tell. I have to remember to thank my parents for all they did for her, and the twins. I owe them a great debt. I promised myself while on the phone with Bella that I would do as Mom asked...or demanded of me. I owe her that.

When we got off the phone, it was five in the morning, and the twins were waking up. She had to go get them dressed and fed. I asked her if she wanted me to come over and help her, but she said there would be time for that. She wanted to come to me. She said that Esme would be very upset if she didn't get to see the babies today.

She said she would arrive around nine, giving everyone a chance to get up, eat and get ready.

We had talked twice since this morning. I was so nervous to finally see her. To touch her again, and look into her eyes. I am actually a Dad. Oh, my God! I am a Dad! And she loves me!

I heard the car approaching. I was beaming. I could tell that Esme wanted to go out there and get the babies, but she held her place, letting me ease into it. I saw Bella getting out of the car. I ran outside to her. She smiled and ran to me. I picked her up in a tight embrace. Oh...she smelled so good. Just like I remember. She placed kisses all over my face, giggling. We both laughed. She never kissed me on my lips though. She, we knew that would take us a lot further than we needed to go right now. Plus, I promised to take it slow. I know one thing though, just touching her sent my body into overdrive. I wanted her. Every part of her. But, that definitely would not be going slow. I chuckled.

She pulled back slightly from my face, and looked at me, smiling. "Huh, just as beautiful as ever." She said. I blushed, and pulled her tighter to me. We both giggled at my firm hold on her. Finally, I put her down. "You wanna meet Carlie and Brady?" She asked.

"Of course!" I said with maybe too much excitement. My heart started racing a hundred miles an hour. "What if they don't like me?" I asked Bella. She stopped walking and turned to me, smiling. "They already love you. Your sister made sure of that. I'm surprised Esme didn't tell you." She chuckled. "You have nothing to worry about. Watch this." She opened the door to the Cadillac, and said, "Carlie, Brady, da da home." Their eyes seemed to brighten up almost immediately. "Da Da?" Carlie said, reaching her arms for her mother to take her out.

Bella brought Carlie to me. "Carlie, this is 'da da'" Carlie reached for me. My eyes watered. I had to control myself. I did not want them thinking they made me sad. "da da da da da da!" Carlie said. I took her from Bella and hugged her close. "I yub yoo da da." She said to me. I couldn't hold back the tears. I held her close. "I love you more my sweet Carlie." I pulled her away from me to look at her after I wiped my eyes. She was the spitting image of Bella. Just absolutely breathtaking. The most beautiful baby I'd ever seen. I looked at Bella, smiling, tears returning from my eyes, "Thank you. Thank you so much." Bella smiled, then returned to the Cadillac to retrieve Brady. Mom stepped out to take Carlie, but Carlie was not having it. She latched on to me for dear life. She screamed, "No! My da da!" I smiled. I looked at Carlie. "Carlie, can Nanna get you some treats while Mommy and Da Da get Brady?" She frowned, but nodded her head in agreement. Mom took her into the house, tickling her, and planting tons of kisses on her, making her giggle loudly.

Bella came around with Brady. "My son..." I whispered. My eyebrows pulled together tightly. "I have a son, Bella! She smiled very warmly to me and said, "Brady, this is 'da da'." Brady was a little different than Carlie. I could see that already. He was a deep thinker. Not free like Carlie. Very serious. He looked at me after a moment. He turned toward me and reached his hands out. I smiled at him, then took him into my arms. He did look just like me. Just like Mom said. I could see both me, and Bella in his eyes though.

He hugged me and whispered... "I yub yoo more dan Carlie. Don't tell her."

I whispered back... "It's our little secret." He smiled. I hugged him close. I sat down on the porch, never wanting to let him go. He was completely comfortable in my embrace. Like no time passed. Like nothing else mattered. Just us.

Bella and I went inside with Brady after a while and we all laughed and talked while playing with the twins. By the end of the day, the twins were all pooped out. I had spent every moment with them getting to know them, doing anything they wanted to do. They seemed to love all of the attention. Being here with them like this...I can't imagine wanting anything more.

Throughout the day, I would glance over at Bella. She seemed to be glowing. She looked so happy. She didn't interfere with my time with Carlie and Brady. She kept her distance, allowing me this time alone with them. I helped her bathe them, and put their night clothes on for bed. Bella agreed to not take them from me tonight. I wanted to see them first thing in the morning when they woke up. I kissed and hugged each of them, and reminded them of my love for them. Carlie looked over at me and asked me if I was leaving her again. "Carlie. Da Da is here to stay. For as long as you want him or need him."

"You promit?" She asked.

"I promise." She smiled and turned over.

Bella came in the room and wrapped her arms around my waist as we watched the twins fall asleep.

"Come and take a walk with me, Edward."

I wanted to move from this spot, but my feet would not let me. It seemed like if I left them, they would disappear. Then I would wake up and find this to all be a dream. I did not want to chance it just yet. I ignored Bella's request.

She stepped in front of me, facing me. Her eyes full of love...need. She placed her hands to my face. I still couldn't move. I looked back at my babies. She placed her right hand on my heart and kept her other on my face. I literally tore my gaze off my babies to look at her, conflicted. Just her touch made me remember...all the love, all the passion that we once shared. I reminded myself. Detail after detail. I smiled. Her face blushed, and she smiled lightly. Never saying a word. She knew. She removed her hands, then buried her face in my chest. I held her close.

My feelings for her overwhelmed me. My desire for her screaming. My thoughts went to our first kiss, so long ago. Then, the first time we made love. I moaned in her hair, then, pulled her away.

"Bella..." I was unable to find the words to say to her. There were so many things in needed to say, but I couldn't find the first. I turned my head. Deciding not to say anything.

She pulled my chin back facing her. "Edward... I know...it's OK." She understood my unspoken pain. She knew the deep love that I felt for Carlie and Brady, and she also knew I was torn. Afraid. Broken. I didn't know how to deal with my body or my feelings right now. I had worked so hard to suppress anything that made me feel alive...happy. Now, I am finding it difficult to express myself. "Can we go take a walk?" She asked again.

"Yes, of course." I replied. I looked back at Carlie and Brady, went back to give them each another kiss, and quietly left the room.

We walked along the same path that we walked as teenagers, leading to our first kiss. I remember it like it was yesterday.

We walked in silence for what seemed like hours, but feeling like minutes, hand in hand. Only smiling at each other every now and then.

I truly love this woman. She has already given me so much more than I deserve, now she has added those beautiful babies. All I have to give her is me. Of course, I could shower her with material possessions all day, but she would never go for that. She has never been that kind of woman. I hope that I can convey my love and appreciation to her properly some day. She has made me so happy.

I paused on the trail right where we first kissed. I looked up at the sky and back at her. The reflection of light from the moon made her look so very beautiful. I placed a piece of hair behind her ears, while continuing to look at her. I touched both of her cheeks gently, and smiled at her. I wonder if she remembers this place.

"You know I love you, right?" I asked.

"Do you, Edward?" She asked like she was questioning whether I loved her or not.

" Bella..." I whispered. "I have never stopped loving you, and I never will. You are everything to me. Don't you understand? I thought I was giving you a way to a better life. I only wanted you to be happy. Honestly, I hoped down in my heart that another would never get your heart. I just couldn't imagine being near you without being able to do this..." I placed a light kiss on her cheek. "Or this..." I kissed her other cheek and her forehead. "Or this..." I kissed her neck just below her ear. She giggled. I faced her again. "Know this Ms. Swan...nothing in this world. Not even my relationship with my children do I desire more than you. Nothing." I looked her straight in the eyes.

She pulled my face toward her, and crushed her lips to mine. I pulled back. "Bella...no."

She let me go. "But why? You just said..."

"Shhh...I'm not saying I don't want to. I'm just saying that it won't be enough for me right now. And I promised you slow. Please Bella, try to understand."

She looked at me for a long while. I could see in her eyes that she wanted to say to hell with slow, but she didn't. She didn't push.

"Can we talk?" I asked. "Will you promise to be truthful with me, no matter how much it may hurt me?"

She looked at me, almost agonizing over the things she thought I might ask. "Bella?"

"OK." She sighed and replied. "Only the truth. No matter what. Are you sure you want to hear everything?"

"No, but I have to know." I said lightly.

We sat down on the bench that I placed out here so many years ago.

"Bella, my father told me about Jacob."

"And..."

"And... I would like to know about your feelings for him. Please remember. I will not blame you for anything. I allowed this. I pushed you into his arms. I will blame only myself if you love him or if you want to try to work it out with him."

She sighed, then paused. "Wow. How do I even approach this? Well, I'll start from the beginning. Are you sure you want to hear this?"

"Yes, Bella." I sighed, knowing that was going to be bad.

"OK, how much has your dad told you? I was always very straight forward with them."

"He said Jacob pursued you. You at first didn't want it, but decided to see where it was going. He was very caring and compassionate, and he reminded you of me. He also said he kissed you, and you came back here all tore up about it. Oh, and something about my picture." I smiled, teasing her.

"Well, I am glad for that. That's about half the story. Are you sure, Edward."

"Bella..."

"OK, there is a part of that story that I left out to them." She looked at me again, then sighed. "Man, Edward, this is hard talking to you about this. OK, I will only tell you this because I don't want it jumping up one day and biting me in the butt.

"Bella..."

"I knew that Jake liked me. At first, he only would do little things like a white lily everyday on my desk or grab me in a tight embrace, just when when I needed it, or smiled his smile at me that he seemed to reserve just for me. He also was a great friend. Actually, an excellent friend. He listened to all by crap. Allowed me to cry on his shoulder, supported me when times got tough from missing you too much. Sometimes, I had problems getting out of bed, or making my feet move to do simple tasks. I, many times, would have preferred just laying down all day. But he never allowed any of it. He would make me laugh, hug me tight when I needed it, what ever I needed, he did it for me.

He knew about you, and what happened, so my crazy mood swings did not surprise him. Anyway, one night, after I decided to try to move back to the apartment with the twins, Esme kept them because I knew I would be very late coming home. Once the day was over, Jake and I still had not finished our deadline. So, we agreed to take the workload home, and come in late the next day. We left and went our separate ways. Not long later, he knocked on my door. When I opened the door, he kissed me. I did return the kiss after my surprise wore off. I had until then, turned my body off from any sexual feelings. I reserved my days to my work and kids, and my nights belonged to you. I'll tell you about that later. Any way, we ended up on the couch and um, um...Oh, Edward, I can't."

"Bella, have you ever made love to him?" She looked torn, like she didn't know how to answer the question. "Bella..."

"Well, not really, well, I mean." I sighed. "OK, Edward. We went from the sofa to the bed and he undressed me. He never took all his clothes off . He kissed me everywhere...everywhere." I looked at him, but kept on. "When it was time for us to make love, he flipped us over, and your picture fell off the side of the bed, face up. It was like you were looking right at me. Seeing what I was about to do. Of course, that killed everything."

"He allowed you to stop in the middle, just like that? No persistence?"

"No, no persistence. He saw the picture, too. He saw my tears, and he understood my pain. We eventually got up and finished the work he had come to do. Later, I went to bed, leaving him working, going to cry myself to sleep. He crawled back into bed with me, fully clothed and held me all night while I cried over you. The next day was when Esme spoke to me."

"That is unbelievable. He was able to go that far with you and just stop mid sentence."

"Well, Edward, that's my next part. It will make sense in a bit. Edward, he fell in love with me. He was probably in love with me before that night, but I didn't know. I explained to him my love for you, and how I would probably never be able to return that same love back to him. He understood, but insisted on pursuing me. And he did. He was always so sweet. He helped me with that gaping hole that I wore every single day for you. He made it feel better. Sometimes I felt like he had gone to visit you and you had told him every single thing I liked. He would study my every mood, always ready to listen. Never judging. He even told me that if you denied our Carlie and Brady, that he would love them as his own and take care of them."

I frowned at that. Man, I was so stupid. "So, as time passed, and he pressed in, I felt myself getting closer to him. We never got anywhere near sex again, but after that night, I found it hard to stay away from him. He would sleep at the apartment with me when Esme kept my babies. Fully clothed, of course. He knew I needed him to help fix my loneliness for you, but he was fine with that. He knew somehow that I would eventually notice him. I did, eventually. I began feeling like I needed him when he was not around. I even found myself thinking of him." She paused and looked at me. The pain was evident on my face. This was very hard imagining just how close I got to losing her.

"Go ahead."

"I had a dream one night maybe two weeks before you called Alice. Of you and him standing together. I was opposite the both of you, and you both were waiting for an answer. Both of you looked really sad. It scared me. I knew I could never allow myself to care for someone else as much as I cared for you. Definitely not enough to where I had to battle to choose between you two. I called in to work for a solid week. I gave them some lame excuse. Jacob called daily, over and over. I never responded, hoping this desire to be with him would pass. I even moved back with your parents during this time. Afraid to face Jacob until I was sure it was safe again to be around him.

When I returned to work, I was at my desk. He walked in, obviously very excited to see me. He grabbed me up in a huge hug, and planted kisses on my cheek. My feelings had not left, and it was obvious he was still in the game. So, I resigned."

"What!"

"Yep, I resigned. He caught me at the end of the day, and begged me to not cut him completely out of my life. He promised to lay off pursuing me if I promised to remain friends. He said he wanted any part of me that I was willing to give." I gasped. I remembered saying the same thing. "He loved me and claimed to need me around... no matter how little. We talked for a long time. He understood that I had to quit, but made me promise to allow his calls now and then. I have up until as recent as yesterday. I usually speak to him about twice a month. The past couple of months have been really hard. He sounds so pained when he talks to me, and it makes me feel horrible, but he insists on continuing those conversations. So, that's everything."

"Bella...do you love him?" I asked with my head down. Not really wanting to hear the answer.

"I'm sorry Edward." She whispered. "I do, but not the way I love you. That love would never be enough to sustain me. I had to decide which of you I could not live without. That made my decision for me. You are the one that I can not live without. I still wore that gaping hole in my stomach every day until last night, when you called me. You see, even though he helped me with the pain, the pain never went away. My longing was still for you only. Do you understand?"

"Yes, I do. Perfectly. Jake seems like someone I would like, if not for this situation. Will you continue talking with him?"

"I don't know, honestly. I feel so bad for his pain. I knew this would happen. I feel like I just used him."

"Bella, he knew very clearly what was happening. You not only told him, but you showed him, crying for me, while he consoled you. He was no fool in this. His expectations were just too high. I can't promise I will like this, or support you talking to him, but I won't deny you what you need to do. Will he cause trouble between us?

"No, I don't think so. He could have caused a stink many times, starting that first night in my room, but he never did. He just kept giving me him. Expecting nothing immediately back."

"Huh, he expected something back all right. I bet he didn't plan on me coming home so soon. Just be careful Bella. A man's heart is nothing to play with, or take lightly."

Bella looked at me, and smiled, placing her hands on my cheeks, tilting my face to hers. "My Edward." She said sweetly. "No other man can or will ever, _ever_ steal my affection from you again. I feel like I have not breathed since you left me, until today. I need you, Edward. I need us. Can you forgive me for him?"

"Of course. It's already done." She smiled and pulled her face closer to mine, rubbing her nose on my nose. "Edward..."

"Yes?" I smiled.

"Will you kiss me?" She whispered. "I need to feel..." Was all she got out. I gently placed my lips to hers. Remembering every line and crease and its softness. But she wanted more. But should we? I was in turmoil. She licked my lips, asking, waiting for an entrance. When she tangled her hands in my hair, and pulled, I just let go. The trees in the forest could have been on fire around us for all we knew. We kissed with such passion that my head was becoming cloudy. All I could think of was her. How she tasted, how she felt, how she made me feel. She crawled on top of me, and removed my shirt. I looked at her strangely.

"I just need to feel you. We don't have to do anything." She said. She placed her lips back on mine, unbuttoning her shirt. She took it off, and placed her skin directly against mine. Uuummm. I moaned. She felt so good. She rubbed my back and shoulders so lovingly. Pulling away from me every now and then to rub and kiss my neck and chest. We both took our time, touching and feeling every inch of each other within reach. She felt so soft. I could feel the heat coming from between her legs on my erection. This is going way too fast. What if she decides this is not what she wants? Bella whispered into my neck, "Edward, it's OK. I won't let anything happen until you are ready. I can wait." How did she know what I was thinking? I pulled her away and looked at her. She smiled.

"I was wanting to wait for you. To be sure that this is what _you_ really want. I would understand. I promise I would. I only ask that you not take my babies from me."

She pulled back even further. "You would let me go, but would want to keep my children?" She said fairly loud to me, then got off me, picking her shirt up. I had obviously angered her.

I got up and swung her around, her tears had already surfaced. I pulled her close. "Bella...baby, listen to me. I only want you to be happy. A lot of things have happened, and most are my own fault. I only want you to be able to make an informed, fair decision on what you need. And no, I would not easily let you go. Bella, you are my whole life. I need you, but I would never hold you with me just because that's how I feel. Do you understand? Plus, our babies are a part of you. I know that if I have them, I have you. " I smiled. " I need you Baby. Never misunderstand that."

Her tears slowed down. "So...can we get back to what we were doing?" She smiled.

"Bella, if we go too much longer, I won't be able to control myself with you. I will not be able to stop. Nor will I want to. Lets just go back."

She jumped into my arms, wrapping her legs around my waist. "OK, you've been warned," I teased. "You know I have not released in years. It may get too rough for you." She giggled, sticking her tongue in my mouth. I sat back down on the bench, and removed her bra. I began kissing her jawline and her neck, while gently massaging her breasts. They were already hard, waiting for me. I moved down to her right breast and sucked it into my mouth. She breathed the most delicious moan. She knew exactly how to stir me up. I slowly sucked each breast and continued running my hands up and down her body. She gave me some of the most breathy moans I've ever heard.. They totally turned me on. She was digging her nails into me, moaning my name. Over and over and over. I was in no hurry. I loved hearing her like this. But she wasn't having it.

"Edward..." She began reaching for the buckle on my pants. I chuckled.

"Be patient Ms. Swan. We have time."

"Edward.." She jumped up off me and pulled my pants off, placing them along the length of the bench along with her shirt. She then got on her knees, and pulled my boxers down. My shaft was rock hard and already near climax. It's been too long. She stroked it slowly at first and placed her warm mouth on it. I threw my head back while she took her time. Tending to every part of it. Stroking it perfectly and sucking my tip. She knew how close I was, by the sounds I was making and how hard I got in her mouth. She didn't care. She took every bit of it over and over until I let go in her mouth. I watched her as she swallowed and licked every drop of come that came from me. It set me on fire. I stood her up and quickly pulled he panties down. She stopped me, pulled them back up, and lifted her skirt. She was showing me those beautiful royal blue panties that I had bought her so long ago. I remembered that night clearly. My shaft rose up again. I leaned forward and took them off, dropping down to my knees at her hot center. She smiled at me. She loved this. I knew that. I sat back down on the bench, and laid on my back.

"Come here." I told her. I turned her and had her straddle the bench above me, and leaned in. We'd never tried this before, but it was sure to be good. I stopped her just before reaching my mouth. I looked at her dripping wet center, and took a deep breath a couple of times.

"Edward.." She said. I placed my mouth over her clit and licked and sucked gently. I didn't want her to come just yet. I wanted this to last. I flipped my tongue around her clit and sucked, over and over. In no time, she was calling my name, screaming her favorite profanities. She knew this turned me on, especially coming from her. I leaned her forward and inserted two fingers into her. She moaned repeatedly. I placed my lips to her folds and back to her clit. She was so wet and tasted so good. I picked up the speed. Her dirty talk had me wanting to be inside her. I plunged my fingers in and out of her, while sucking her wet center. I began sucking and pulling, sucking and pulling. Her favorite rhythm. Not long later, she came on my face...hard. Her juices flowed quickly from her. My hands caught it, and I let her watch me lick every finger clean, including her wet center.

I could tell she was no good after that, but I did warn her. "I'm not through with you yet, Bella. Come here." I stood up and placed her on her back on the bench. I climbed on top of her and plunged into her with all the force I had. She sat straight up and screamed my name. "Woops, I forgot," I apologized. She hadn't done this in a while, either. I still didn't really let up. She was so tight and so wet, and had a tiny bit of sweat on her from tonights activities. She looked so damn sexy.

I quickly broke through every single layer within her that had not been touched in so long. My shaft was even harder than before, and I was nowhere near an orgasm. I warned her. I sat up and took her legs over my shoulders, leaning all the way into her face. She dug her nails into my back, repeatedly. I was stroking in and out of her so quickly that I almost lost myself in her. She took everything I gave her. I knew some of it had to be too rough, but I couldn't stop. I needed more. And from the looks of it, she wouldn't want me to anyway. She would scream yes, yes, yes, more, over and over. I hope I don't hurt her. I decided to concentrate on an orgasm, to give her some relief. I flipped us over and stood with her in my arms. She wrapped her legs around me and I started plunging in and out of her again. Harder and harder. My orgasm was near, but I would hold it until she came. I could feel her tightening abound my hard shaft, so I slowed down, allowing her to concentrate on her orgasm. It didn't take long at all. I wrapped my arms around her tightly as she came. She bucked and jumped all over my shaft, riding out that high. My shaft was so wet now.

She looked at me, picked up her right eyebrow and said, "Give me all you got. Don't hold back." Oh, so that's how we're doing it? Uh, she's a big girl now...OK. Those words made me swell to capacity within her. I pushed her body away from me a little while I held her ass slightly away from me. I wanted to pump toward it. We'll see how much of a big girl she really is. I pushed swiftly into her body and withdrew almost completely. She moaned. I thrust back into her, over and over, coming out each time almost completely. She screamed at each thrust and bit down into my shoulder at some point. That was OK, it only turned me on more. I withdrew and began again giving her all I had, over and over and over again. The look on her face, her nails in my back, her teeth in my skin. It all heightened my arousal. I felt my orgasm coming soon. I put her down and leaned her across the bench on her hands and knees. I entered her from the back and grabbed her breasts with my hands. I entered her over and over making sure to come out and thrusting back in. She began purring, almost like a kitten or a whiny puppy. She was so sexy. I could look at her like this all night. I continued plunging into her faster and faster as my orgasm was coming to a head. My shaft hardened once again within her and she whined my name over and over. I straightened my back up and pushed hers down. I pumped her so deep that I could have sworn I felt a new feeling somewhere back in there. I pushed over and over, each time achieving that feeling until I was ready to come.

"Baby, inside or outside?"

"Inside," she answered. I hit that spot a few more times and shot everything I had into her. If I didn't know better, I would swear that something just broke within me. I still had her hips, tight to my shaft, and I could feel him rising again. I was ready to give it to her again.

"Edward," She said. "Baby, we have to get back. Your parents my be looking for us." I chuckled and released her hips.

"I knew you were not ready for this." I said chuckling. She stood up and looked at me with a strange look. "What?"

"That was the best sex that I have ever experienced. Can we continue this in a bed?" I smiled. "I thought you would never ask." We walked back to the house to check on the kids. We told mom that we were going for a drive. She seemed pleased.

We arrived at the apartment. I was a little apprehensive about going there, but I was all the way in now. There was no turning back. She opened the door and pulled me in.

"Now, Mr. Cullen, this is _your_ warning. You think, that because you have a huge rod, that I am no match for you tonight." She backed me into the room. "You were holding back on me out there a couple of times. Why?"

I smiled. She was already pulling my shirt over my head. "Well, I knew how hard I felt, and how tight you felt. And...I didn't want to hurt you. I tried at times to pay attention to your reactions, but after a while, I couldn't hold myself. I only hoped that at some point you would say to stop. I would have never stopped if you hadn't." She straddled me at the end of the bed.

"Huh, Mr. Cullen, what am I going to do with you?" She began running her nails lightly along my chest. "Would you mind if I showered?"

"No."

"OK, I'll be right back." She skipped into the bathroom. I lay back on the bed. Remembering all the wonderful nights we shared here. I tried to remember why I never married this woman. A reason does not seem to exist. "Bella. Whose last name do Carlie and Brady carry?"

She opened the door and looked at me. Puzzled at my sudden question. "Swan. I had no choice. We were not married, and you were not there to approve the name change. Are you upset?"

"No. Would you be upset if I wanted them with my last name?" She paused and looked a bit sad.

"No, of course not. That's how it should be anyway."

"What about you Bella?"

"What about me?" She asked.

"Would you be upset if I wanted _you_ with my last name?"

She gasped. Her cheeks flushed over and she caught the frame of the door.

"What?" She whispered.

"Bella. I love you. I have always loved you. I have only loved you. The time we spent apart allowed me to think about things I had done and did not do. We never spoke of marriage, even though it was implied that we would someday. We also never spoke of children, even though we never protected ourselves to avoid them." I stepped closer to her. "This time, Bella, I want to tie myself to you in every way humanly possible. You have given me everything already, except your hand in marriage. Can I have it?"

"I..."

I gasped. "Bella...oh, my...how could I. I am so sorry. I know that we just reconciled tonight, and still have plenty to work out, I am doing it again. Please disregard that. I..." She jumped into my arms, and crushed her lips against mine.

"No, Edward, it's not that. I have waited to hear you say that to me for so long. I always thought that you would never marry a girl like me. That's why we never had."

I chuckled. "Never thought about it. I was so concerned with you and keeping you happy, I never thought about the things that would have maybe made things easier. I was such a fool."

She kissed the skin below my neck to my shoulder. "Yes, but a fool for me. Oh, excuse me again."

She went back into the bathroom, then and put on a beautiful royal blue lace two piece. My eyes grew wider when I saw her come out in that, and a pair of four inch heels that perfectly matched. She said. "I would wear it sometimes just to imagine what you would say about it. What do you think?"

My heart leaped in my chest. _She really did all this when I was gone? Did she really miss me this much? And, she denied the love of another hoping to return to me? _I thought. I turned to the bed. My picture was laying on my side of the bed. _She must have slept with it the night we were on the phone._

"Edward...?" She got the cutest puppy dog look on her face.

I got up and went to her. Tears in my eyes. Emotions flooding my entire being. It wasn't just the lace that barely covered her body, it was everything. In all my dreams these past years, I never imagined this. I had refused to allow hope to creep into my heart, knowing I would never have her love again. She had so easily loved others in the past. Why would I think any different now?

"Baby...what is it?" She whispered, holding me around my waist and laying her head on my chest. I picked her small frame up, level with my face. I was still so choked up that I couldn't speak. I must have had the most ridiculous look on my face.

"Bella..." I said breathless. "Do we really...have a chance? Can you really...love me?" She hugged my neck tightly. I broke down in her arms. "I was so horrible to you." On my neck, I could feel her tears streaming too. "Oh, Bella...I'm so sorry baby. I don't deserve you."

"Sweetheart, what has brought this on?" She asked, pulling away a little. I still refused to let her go. I walked to the bed and sat, straddling her across my lap. I looked down, still unable to explain this ridiculous display of emotions. "Oh..." She paused. "You're questioning whether I can forgive you for denying me all these years?" I shook my head. "But, also, how could I choose you over someone else?" I looked at her. Sadness clearly present in my eyes. She hugged me tight. I could feel all her love flowing into me. I wept harder. "Edward, stop, look at me. I hate to talk about this at such an intimate time, but I have to get you to understand me.

That night..." I paused and took a slow, deep breath. "That night, I was very angry. Maybe not at you, but at me. For not being enough for you. Now that I look back at it, it was so stupid. Anyway, I was angry because when I came in here, the scene before my eyes seemed to resemble a double date. I knew about the studying and all, but they were so beautiful. How could you ever choose me over either of them. In my heart, I felt like I was losing you. The past years had been so beautiful between us, but I was so insecure. Anyway, I had gone to a jeweler a few months prior and designed a band for you that was taking every dollar of my extra money to pay for. Edward, I wanted to marry you. I wanted to ask _you_, though." She started crying. "Like you said, we had never talked about it, but I knew you loved me and was confident you'd accept. I had been going to school at the time and working two small jobs. You never knew because our workload was so heavy, you never needed to question my schedule or my where abouts." She paused for a moment and looked at me. Her eyes fulled with so much love. "Edward...I had already decided back then.

That night, I wanted to hurt you like I felt hurt. I wanted you to stop me from going out that night. But as always, you allowed me to do as I pleased. I wanted you to come out to that bar, and demand I come home after you saw me talking with..._him..." _My eyes widened. I had no idea. "And the only reason I got into that car with him was because I didn't want you to know I had gotten so drunk that I couldn't drive myself home_. _Oh, Edward..._I'm_ so sorry. When I looked up from the darkness that night and saw you approaching me, it was bitter sweet. I knew immediately that you _were _my knight and shining armor. You did love me. It was just too late. My silly games had worked against me. After the trial, I knew I owed you my life, my heart, my love. And I would never betray that again. Do you understand?"

I hugged her close. I had no idea. I sobbed into her hair. "Bella...I had no idea, baby. I'm so sorry."

"Don't be. You did for me everything you could. You gave me everything of yourself...even your freedom. I will never forgive myself for taking you to that place, but I will never stop trying to make it up to you. You have my heart to do with it was you please. I freely give it to you. Forever."

She kissed me so gently with such passion that I felt it all over my body. We lay back on the bed, just bathing in the moment. We made love that night, all night...slowly. At times, we were so overwhelmed that we sobbed while making love. For that time, nothing else existedexcept us. We never parted, we never spoke. We just allowed our love for each other to overtake us. Our orgasms rolled in around sunset. It hadn't mattered before. Neither of us desired an end. Neither wanted to let go.

The morning came quickly. We seemed to only have been together a short while. Bella got up and started stirring around her closet. I wondered what she was looking for. I wanted her back next to me. She came out with out any clothes, but a small box in her hand. She had the most beautiful smile on her face. She came to me and sat on the bed. "Edward, this is the ring. Do you want to see it?...I know the meaning has been lost, but I would still like you to have it."

"Bella...I would love to." I opened the small box. Inside was the most unique ring. It was white gold. It had a row of channel set diamonds on the side and a slightly larger diamond in between the rows of channel set diamonds. Toward the ends of each side of diamonds were smaller diamonds made into a triangle. Even though it had lots of detail, and even more diamonds, it had a thicker band and maintained its masculinity,but still looked like a wedding band. It was the most beautiful ring I had ever seen. I was speechless. "You designed this, Bella?"

"Yes," She smiled. " I thought about you when I drew it. How elegant you are..."

"Bella...I absolutely love it! Can I use this as my wedding ring? Would you mind?" She smiled.

"Are you sure, Edward?"

"Oh, I'm not thinking. I never even got an answer from you. Bella..." She put her finger to my lips, and got down on one knee. She took the ring from my hand and said.

"Edward, I know I don't deserve you, neither can I imagine myself without you in my life, forever. I love you with all my heart and I promise to show you that every day. Would you marry me, baby?"

My breath got caught in my throat. My heart was beating too fast. I smiled widely at her, and swooped her off the bed, twirling her around. "Yes! Yes! Yes! I will marry you Bella!" She giggled and hugged my neck.

**Alright everyone. Give me what you know I love. Let me know what you think. I see that a number of you have added an alert for this story. I appreciate that, but still let me know your thoughts. I am a new writer and need to know if I am going in the right direction. Thanks everyone.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8: Jacob**

**((((( Edward's POV )))))**

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in my story although I wish I did I do not. They belong to Stephanie Meyer.**

**A/N: Hello all, sorry about the long wait...I had a lot on my plate this last week. I have found an absolute love for writing, and hope to maintain a good reader base. When I'm not writing, I miss it. I'm always thinking of new ways to further the characters. **

**I started another story about Renesmee and Jacob. It's very sweet and shows a feisty Renesmee. I'm not totally confident in my beginning yet, but I have about 50,000 words written, so I'll be posting real soon. I'm really excited about it. Sometimes I think I enjoy Renesmee and Jacob stories just as much, if not more than Edward and Bella. I guess there is no premise yet with them, so i'm free to do as I like. Be looking for it!**

**Anyway, I read this story named "Million Dollar Baby" by clpsuperstar over the past couple of days. She is way too funny, but passionate and extremely sexual in her writing. The story is definitely not for the faint at heart. You would absolutely love it. I actually couldn't put it down when I started. Well, as much as I could with two children.**

**Alright, I know...I'm rambling, so here ya go. And remember...review, review. **

The morning went by quickly. We had to get back to Carlie and Brady. I did not want to leave Bella, but I felt so excited to see my babies. Bella understood. We got dressed, then went back to my parents house.

Carlie and Brady were already up. Mom had dressed them already and was playing with them on the living room floor. She looked up at us and paused. She gave us a warm smile after seeing the smiles on our faces. She probably had not seen us this happy in so long. I could tell she was relieved I had done as she asked. I could tell the twins adored her and she needed them. I finally fully understood her words to me a couple of days ago. How could she think for a moment that I would choose any differently. I guess I had been acting so horribly when it came to Bella that she couldn't chance it. Oh, well, it's all water under the bridge now.

"Carlie! Brady!" I practically screamed and ran to them. Their eyes beamed when they saw me. They ran to me. I picked them both up and hugged them close. "I love you both. With all my heart." I kissed and told them both. "Da Da we mist woo." Carlie said. "Me tot woo gone."

"My Carlie. I will never leave you or Brady again." I put my hand over my heart and acted like I pulled it out. I handed it to Carlie, then to Brady. "Here is my heart. As long as you have it, I will never leave. Promise me you will keep it." I smiled.

Brady looked at his small hand, then at me. He took his hand and put it to his heart, like he was putting it there, and grabbed his and handed me his. My heart was filled to the brim, and so were my traitor tears, but I held them back. Carlie did the same as Brady then hugged me.

I looked at Bella with tear filled eyes. "I told you. Alice made sure of it."

"I owe her. I'm sure she will expect quick repayment." I laughed. "Mom, where is Alice, anyway."

"She wanted you to get settled in with the twins, and Bella before she came over. She wanted this to work out as much as we did. I can see we got our wish...right?"

"Of course, Mom."

"Well, I'll call her. She's expecting my call."

"Can I call her?"

"Sure, here's her number."

I dialed her number. She answered. "Mom."

I chuckled. "No, its your big brother."

"Edward! Edward! I have missed you so much. Can I come over?"

"Of course, that's why i'm calling."

"I'll be there in fifteen minutes."

Alice arrived shortly after and our reunion was sweet. Later, I gave Brady to Mom and grabbed Alice by her hand to the back porch.

"Alice," I smiled sincerely. "Thank you."

"Thank you? For what?"

"Thank you for taking such good care of Bella. She told me all you did. She told me how you loved her, as I would have and how you never judged her. You and Mom saved us."

She smiled and hugged me. "Edward, you know how protective I am of you. I knew if we maintained while you were gone, that you would make the right decision, once you understood everything. Now, Mom, she did not. She probably gave you a hard time about Bella and the twins."

"Yes, she did.." I laughed. "But I deserved every bit of it. I think she even threatened me." We both laughed. "It doesn't matter. She was right. Both of you were. Oh, and the other thing. Thank you for what you did for me." I smiled.

"What?"

"You talked to Carlie and Brady about me. _You_ made them love me." Tears filled my eyes again. "I couldn't have asked for more. And I _did not_ deserve it. They loved me when they met me. It was like they already knew me."

"That's because they already did, Edward. I talked to them about you every chance I got after you called me. I did not want you to have to feel rejected by them after all you had been through. You can't imagine though how excited they were when they knew you would be home that next day." She smiled.

I hugged her close. "I love you, little sis. With all my heart. And thank you again."

She stepped back. "Now, can we go to the park?" She started practically jumping up and down. "Can we?"

"Sure, I guess, lets go ask Bella."

"Oh, she'll come. We always go on Friday. Carlie loves the slide, and Brady loves the sand and the bugs."

"Well, OK, lets go."

We spent the whole day together. Mom and Dad even came.

When the day ended, Mom suggested we leave Carlie and Brady with her. She claimed she wanted to let Bella and me have more time, but I knew she just wanted to keep them.

We bathed them, and got them dressed for bed. After we got them into their beds, we just stood there watching them in awe. They were so perfect. They were conceived in love, and would now be raised in love. I would not have imagined my life being so perfect. They make me feel right. Complete.

Bella and I finally left the room. She was a really great mother. She tended to their every need. It almost made me jealous. I chuckled at my own thoughts.

As Bella had done before I came back home, she reserved her days for the kids, and her nights for me. Nothing had changed. She wouldn't allow it. She needed me just as much as I needed her. Our time together at night only made us closer. I noticed sometimes at night... the way she would hold me when she slept. Almost like she had to make sure I was still there. She would even wake up sometimes in a panic. I would lightly shake her to wake her. When I would look over at her, tears would well up in her eyes, but she wouldn't say a word. She would crawl up on top of me, lay on my chest, hold me tightly, then fall back to sleep. This went on for months. I never asked. She knew she could tell me anything, so I never pried. I knew anyway. The years of us being separated had left a permanent mark on both of us. We would just have to work it out in our own way.

Besides, I loved her that close. There were many nights that I would just 'accidentally' slip into her while on top of me. I loved the way it felt when she was not in control. I would take my time, slipping in and out of her. Feeling her wetness coat my rock hard shaft. Pushing into her slowly, being careful not to rock her too much. Sometimes, I was sure that she had to know I was in her, but she never moved an inch. Maybe, maybe not. She usually woke up only after I was ready to come in her. My shaft would get so hard before I came that I could not help the rocking and shaking of my body any more. Plus, as I hardened in her, I felt myself go deeper and deeper, causing her to wake.

Watching her sleep while making love to her was the sexiest thing to me. She never complained. She always called me a bad boy for sneaking. Then, she would want hers too. That was great for me. It meant I got to feel her wetness again, which was where I wanted to be anyway.

Some nights, one release was good for her, others, she needed two or three.

I began to notice that when she had those nightmares, her frequency increased. She wanted more, and she wanted it harder. Sometimes it surprised me. When I thought I was giving it to her too hard, she would ask for more. I knew that sometimes I had to be hurting her. I could tell when I was very deep in her. When I would finally hit that spot, I would lay off a little. I knew the feeling, and I knew I was in deep enough. The sensation was sensitive to me, so it had to be to her also. It did not matter. Still, she asked for more, harder. She would scream my name, scream profanities, what ever she could. But she never said to stop. Now, don't get me wrong, I loved it, but it was beginning to worry me. What was going on with her that caused her to want me to beat up on her like that so often.

The sex just got better and better, though. More intense. More emotion. Many nights during sex, she would come to tears. Never sobbing, just tears. She would hold me so close. Kiss me so passionately. I loved how even after all these months passed, she could still need me like this. Still maintain the same, if not heightened, emotions and intensity.

It was the fourth of July, and Alice kept Carlie and Brady for us. Bella and Alice had been working hard on our wedding that we planned for January first. Our one year anniversary being back together. Technically it was much longer than that, but this time it's different. Our love is different. Anyway. I surprised her with tickets to Las Vegas for seven days. She was elated.

We had our bags packed. and had kissed Carlie and Brady bye. Even though we were excited to go away together, we knew our separation from the twins would be hard. They needed us as much as we needed them, but we knew that my mom and sister would take excellent care of them.

We got into the car, and headed for our apartment, then the airport. We were way ahead of time. Our plane did not leave for another six hours. We planned extra time just in case there were delays at check-in, or if we got 'hung up' at the apartment. Bella's phone rang. She reached for it, silencing the ringer. It rang again. She did the same then looked at me. I didn't recognize the look in her eyes. "What is it Baby? Who is that?" She said nothing, she just turned her head and looked straight ahead. We turned into the apartment complex, parking in the closest spot I found.

I looked at her. She looked so sad. I slipped her phone from her hands. She looked down, slipping her hands over her face. Somehow, I already knew who it would be. I looked at the missed call and there it was. It was..._him..._Jacob. I had almost forgotten all about what she had told me. I just assumed that she had handled that by now. I never picked up anything different from her emotionally. We were stronger than ever.

I looked at her. Trying to conceal my hurt. "What's going on Bella?"

Her head still lowered. "We need to talk. Right now. Can we go in?"

I never said a word. I went in the house and sat on the sofa. My heart was beating so fast. My hands were shaking, and I felt my breath caught in my throat. "I am listening." I barely breathed.

She sat down beside me, never touching me. She was so sad, and what ever she was about to tell me would definitely make me feel the same. I just knew it.

"Well, where do I start." She paused and took a deep breath. "Over these past months, I have been the happiest that I have ever been in my life. I have you back. Our children are happy, and we have the most supportive family in the world." She paused. "Do you remember our conversation about Jacob when you first came home?"

"Yes." I said dryly.

"Well, I cut the conversations with him completely off immediately after that. I had everything I needed, so I never made time to talk to him. To be honest, I had nothing to say. I did not feel like I needed to explain to him that you were back, and we were together, and everything was better than before. It was none of his business, plus you and I were together so much that I would not have been able to do it, anyway."

"Ok, and..." I added. Anticipating a much worse conclusion, still looking at the pain in her face.

"About two months ago, I went to the mall and ran into Jacob. He was really happy to see me, but a bit disturbed that I had not taken any of his calls. I told him that we were back together, and I was happy. He seemed to not be surprised, but I could see the hurt in his eyes, maybe even a tinge of anger. He reminded me that I had promised to speak to him every now and then. I agreed with the memory, but explained how much things had changed.

Edward, I sat there with him in the food court, listening to all he said, but could honestly care less about how he felt, or what I had promised. He must have sensed my nonchalant behavior, and got very angry. He told me that I had used him, made him love me, and even almost given myself to him. He called me a liar, and said I did not deserve him or you. I put my head down. I knew he was right, but what could I do now? I just let him get everything off his chest, hoping it would help him feel better and find closure."

I readjusted in my seat, clinching my hands. "And..."

"Once he was finished making a scene, he got up and angrily left the building. I sat there in complete shame. Everyone was looking, and I knew what they must have thought of me. I came home that night, made love to you all night, and held you really close. If you remember, it was the night I wore that white and pink lace bra set I had bought that same day."

"Yes, I remember." I smiled.

"I thought that maybe it was finally over. That he had said his peace and could finally move on." She paused. Looking down. She got up and got a glass of water and came back and sat beside me. She sighed. "Edward, its still nowhere near over for him. Everyday since then, he has called me relentlessly. I even answered a couple of times, begging him to stop. Asking what could I do to make it better for him. He always answered...'you..you can make it better. All I ever asked was to talk to you. To be a part of your life.' Edward, I don't want that any more. I can not imagine how I ever cared for him the way I imagined I had. All I can say is that somehow I was blinded. I don't know. So, about two weeks ago, he followed me from here to the park, I'm assuming. I was with Carlie and Brady. Alice had not yet arrived. Brandon was not feeling well. He approached me from behind, and covered my eyes with his hands. I thought it was you until I smelled his cologne. I felt sick to my stomach. I ripped his hands away from me, moving closer to the twins, but telling them to keep playing. Edward, the way he looked at me sent chills up my spine. I still don't quite know what it meant. He just smiled at me and stepped closer. I told him to stop. To leave, to go on with his life. That I was never leaving you for him. Never. I could see the anger in his eyes. He grabbed me by my arm and pulled me roughly behind a tree. I let him pull me. I could not imagine the reaction of Carlie and Brady had they seen what he was doing to me, so I went along."

I took a deep, long breath and let it out.

"He grabbed me by my shoulders, telling me he loved me. Before I could object, he pulled me to him and kissed me. But it was not like it was before. It was forced, hard. Rough. It disgusted me. I pulled back and slapped him. He slapped me back, calling me a bitch and a whore. He said he had something for me if I kept denying him. I was afraid, Edward. He leaned to kiss me again, and I let him. Edward, please understand, I could not allow him to do anything vile to me in front of our babies. I just let him have his way. He knew the kiss was nothing like it had been in the past, and he released me, smiling. He said to me that he could tell from the kiss that I was reluctant, but still felt the passion that we still shared. I smiled and stepped back. I asked him what he wanted from me. He said he understood that I love you, but that I love him too, and he would fight for me. He has even since then threatened to approach you with his thoughts for me and him. I have begged him over and over not to. I have only started back taking his calls to keep him away from you." She began crying, shaking her head and placing it between her legs. I took her hand, then attempted to pull her head up.

"Bella, baby, look at me. You should never have allowed this to go this far without involving me. I am your rock, your protector. I love you. When you say to me that you are afraid of another man, that angers me to no end. Especially when your fear comes from wanting to protect me. I will not allow this another moment." I said sternly.

"But, Edward, how do we stop him? And, I don't know what he will say to you if you speak to him. What if he lies on me?" She began sobbing harder. I didn't know what to say. She eventually calmed down a bit. "That's not the end of what I have to tell you. Oh, Edward, it's so bad." She paused, reluctant to say anymore.

"Come on baby, you can tell me anything." I prodded.

She took a few ragged breaths in and spoke. "Two mornings ago, he must have watched you leave. Edward, he came up here, and knocked on the door. I thought it was you. I don't know why I thought you would knock on the door, but I did. I was undressed, and about to get into the tub. I unlocked the door and started walking to the bathroom, never looking back. I felt his eyes on me, but I smiled, I thought you were coming back for more of what we had finished earlier. I turned around with my smile. You know what smile I'm talking about, right? ...and I saw _him_.

He was eying me from head to toe with so much lust in his eyes. I froze where I stood. He walked up to me and I backed up into the bathroom and grabbed a towel to cover with. He smiled and snatched the towel from me, threw me over his shoulder and tossed me onto the bed. I was screaming and begging him to stop. He removed his shirt, and crawled on top of me. I scratched his back and arms, trying to get him off me. I even bit his shoulder. He only seemed turned on by it, becoming more aggressive.

Thankfully, he was still clothed below. I _do not_ think I could have fought him off if he had not been. Anyway, I started screaming louder and it must have broken his train of thought. He looked at me with tears rolling down my face. He seemed to have compassion for me. He wiped my tears and paused over me very still. I looked at him and asked...'Will you rape me today, Jake? Will you just take it? Because if you will, you can have it, but you will never have me or my heart.' He rolled off me and told me I smelled like sex anyway. He never looked back, he paused at the door, and said to me that I better get my mind right before something more drastic happens. I cried the rest of the morning until I knew you would be coming back. Oh, Edward, how could I?" She turned away from me. All I could see was red now. That bastard had been in my damn bed and had tried to rape Bella.

I stood up. "We will _not_ be going to Vegas today." I said.

I took her phone off the counter. "Wait, Edward. Wait. What will you say? What will you do? This is why I never wanted to tell you. I can not imagine losing you again. Never. I would not survive this time. Baby, I'm pregnant again. I wanted to tell you in Vegas as a surprise. Baby, please, don't."

I paused. It was like that night, all over again. My baby growing in her and a man trying to take it from me again. I had to calm down. I had to think about the best way to approach this. I will not miss out on the birth of this baby, or her pregnancy. My emotions were everywhere. I turned toward the front door. "Bella, I'll be right back. Just going for a jog. Lock the door behind me. I'll knock when I get back." I put my tennis shoes on and left out the door.

I ran about two and a half miles and turned around. My mind seemed to be clearing up. I always did this in prison when I got too overwhelmed. It still seemed to work for me.

I arrived back at the apartment to find Bella thrown across the bed, crying her eyes out in a pillow. I gently picked her up and sat her on my lap. "Baby, do you still want to go to Vegas? I think it would be a good idea. It will give you some distance, and we can think about what should be done once we get back. You need this time. You've been through a lot. Besides, its only a week. What do you think?"

"Of course I want to go. I'm so sorry for lying to you. I just could not bring myself to tell you all those horrible things. But after what happened two days ago, I knew I had to say something. He has been too close, and it would be a lot worse coming from him. Do you believe me? Do you believe I love you only? That I only wanted to protect you?"

"Of course I do. What else would I believe? Bella, you and the twins are my whole life. I could not imagine a day where I wouldn't have any of you near me." I hugged her close. "I love you. Forever."

"And I you, my love." She replied.

We got our things and got back in the car, we were still a little early, so we didn't rush. We arrived at the airport, parked and started walking toward the terminal hand in hand. A figure appeared out of nowhere. I noticed it, but didn't think anything of it. People were moving around everywhere. Bella froze. "What is it, Bella?" She looked about a hundred or so feet ahead.

"That's Jacob." She whispered. I released her hand, but she grabbed it back tightly, holding her other hand on my lower arm. "Let me talk to him." She asked.

"Not a chance in hell, Bella." I replied. "_That_ will never happen again. Don't even think about it." I balled up my fists and began walking forward. I moved Bella slightly behind me while we walked, showing him that this would not happen the way he intended. As we approached him, a smile grew on his face. He was looking through me straight at Bella.

"Stop, Edward." Bella whispered. She stepped out beside me. "Jacob, what's going on?"

"I need to talk to you. You have avoided all my calls since we made love the other day." He smiled. I squeezed Bella's hand. "You know how I do not like how you are playing with my feelings." He spoke to her like I was not standing there. Blatant disrespect. And he knew exactly what he was doing.

"Jacob." I said. He finally looked at me. "Can you help me understand why you insist on demanding love from someone who won't willingly give it to you?"

"Look...Edward. I have no problem with you. Your little whore though, I have a problem with. I bet she hasn't told you about two days ago...what she did with me in your bed." He looked at her with an eager smile, bearing his teeth. His confidence was way out the roof.

"Absolutely, Jacob, she told me everything. And its my understanding that you considered taking it even after she said to stop."

He pulled his shirt off and turned his back to me. "Does this look like she said to stop. I'm sure you've had the same marks. She has always been frisky in the bed. What about this one. He turned and showed me where she bit him on the chest." I paused for a moment, considering that I _have_ looked like that before. Same marks, same places. I looked at her. She let my hand go, ran and jumped on Jacob, before I knew what had happened. He fell to the ground and she clawed at his face with all she had. I finally pulled her off him. She was kicking and screaming at him like she had lost her mind. She actually landed one in his crotch. "Crazy _bitch_!" He screamed at her. "Edward, you better control your whore before I do!"

"Now! Tell him how you got those scratches too you bastard! How could you! You disgust me!" She ran off toward the terminal crying.

I walked toward Jacob and stood over him. It took everything I had to not kill him right there. I knew that was what he wanted. Me going back to jail would be just what he needed. I refused. "Jacob. I am really trying to control myself with you. I am marrying that woman, and I _will not_ allow her to continue being harassed this way. I understand that you love her, but this is not the way to go about it. I am willing to fight for her if she can not make up her mind between us, but once she makes her decision, I will not stand by and watch this go on again." I stepped back, balled my fists, and took a deep breath.

Jacob stood to his feet and smiled at me furrowing his brows. "So she told you everything, Edward? Did she tell you how she tasted in my mouth? Or how I tasted in hers?" I winced at the thought.

"Jacob, you are a vile, disgusting man. You claim to love her, but you refuse to give her the one thing that she wants. You love her, but you speak about her like she is a whore. You love her, but you force yourself on her, willing to take what is not yours to take. If you ever get her to love you, you will destroy her. You will rip everything that's good about her into shreds, and you will end up hating her in the end." I shook my head in disgust and walked past him to go find Bella. "Oh," I turned back around. "Bella and I have no secrets. I know every disgusting thing that you have done to her, since the beginning. Don't bother ever feeling like you have to ever speak to me this way again about Bella." I turned around, and left. He never said another word.

I found Bella sitting at check-in on the ground. Her head was between her legs and an attendant was handing her some water. I sat next to her. "Bella, do you still want to go on the trip. We can stay or drive somewhere if you like."

She sniffed. "No, Edward, absolutely not. I need to leave now, more than ever. Please don't make me stay here."

I rubbed her back. "I would never do that. What ever you want." I stood her up and we walked to get our carry-ons checked.

**A/N: What did you think? I know...bad Jake, bad Jake. For those of you that love Jake, sorry, it will only get worse. Much worse. But, stay with me. Every thing will take a drastic turn all of a sudden. Trust me, you'll love it.**

**Now, review, review, review!**

**Reviews are better than Edward closing his fists and knocking the hell out of Jacob. Right? Right?**


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9: Las Vegas**

**((((( Edward's POV )))))**

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in my story although I wish I did I do not. They belong to Stephanie Myer.**

The plane ride seemed to go quickly. She cried more than half the trip. I assured her that I _did not_ believe Jacob's version of the story, and thanked her for being honest with me this morning. I knew the situation would have gone a lot differently had she not told me, but I said nothing more about it. I can't say if I would have believed him or not. When he showed me the scratch marks and bruises on his back and shoulder, it threw me off for a moment. Many times I've looked just like that. Bella can get really frisky in the bed. Sometimes, I think she does that to mark her territory, but it doesn't matter. It only fuels me even more, making sex that much more interesting. Anyway, I didn't believe him. He was marked way too deep, even for her.

We stayed at the Bellagio, on Las Vegas Boulevard. It was a beautiful place to stay. My dad insisted we get a suite that included a small kitchen with separate living areas. He reserved the room for us and assured us that we would love it. He had our refrigerator stocked with everything we liked. There were rose pedals on the floor, leading to the bed. He had ordered matching robes, and a bottle of Don Perion was placed next to the bed. The bed had been turned back, and a beautiful diamond necklace lay there for Bella on top of a note. The note read...

'Bella, remember that day you were admiring Esme's diamond necklace she wore to the formal on Valentines Day, last year? Well, here's one for you. We love you, Bella.' Carliyle.

Mom had even ordered lingerie for Bella. One was black leather and lace. It was designed to hug her full body, but had no panty. It was separate. It laced up the side with dark pink ribbons and a white gold necklace lay on top of it with a large pink stone to match. She included dark pink, open toe heels that laced up the front, and black thigh highs that had a hot pink bow on top.

They had thought about everything. I was was glad they had ignored our request to stay out of the planning. I had not thought about any of this. Everything was just perfect.

We had planned to walk Las Vegas Boulevard tonight, but when we saw how beautiful the room was, and how it welcomed us with so much love, we decided to stay in for the night. Bella called Carlie and Brady, then came to sit next to me on the balcony. We were so high up that all we could see were beautifully colored lights. Bella snuggled next to me on the outdoor furniture. She rolled onto my lap to look into my eyes.

"Honey, will you ever forgive me for even thinking about being with him? I have to be the stupidest, most dangerous woman in the world." I smiled and began stroking her cheeks.

"Bella, you did nothing wrong. I pushed you into his dangerous arms. He made you believe he could be patient, and love you the way you were. Knowing all the time where your heart truly was. He used you, Bella. He toyed with your emotions, and found a way into your heart. It was all a game for him. All designed to win the prize. It still is. Whether you had sex with him willingly or not was irrelevant. He enjoyed the chase much more than the prize, anyway." I paused. "I bet he even told you something dumb like he had only slept with one or two other women, and had been in a lengthy relationship that had ended not too long ago. Acting like he was so in love, and had dealt with hurt, just like you were."

She gasped and her eyes widened. "How did you know that? I never told you that, did I?"

"Bella, I'm a man. Even though I have never been with another woman, I'm not dumb, and I have male friends that do that dumb shit. It's very dangerous, Bella. Do you remember when I told you about a man's heart. How to be careful how much you allow? Well.." I picked my eyebrows up, smiling at her. "Can we not talk about this again tonight?"

"Sure baby, whatever you like. Do you trust me?"

"Yes, as much as I love you."

"Ugh, I just want to hit something." She said, annoyed.

I laughed. "Can _I_ be your punching bag, tonight?" I smiled at her, turning her head to me. "Will you take all your anger out on _me, _tonight?" I sat her up and straddled her across my thighs. "Will you scratch _me_ while we make love, tonight?" I kissed her neck gently. "Will you scream _my_ name, tonight?_" _I put my hand between her legs, still kissing her neck and holding her tightly with my other hand. "Will you give this willingly to _me_, tonight?" I removed my lips from her neck and pulled back so I could look into her eyes. Her eyes were filled with so much love and passion. Her breathing became staggered, and she readjusted her hips toward my shaft. I smiled. "That's right, Bella" I whispered against her neck. "Let me feel that hot, wet pussy. Is that a yes?"

"Now, Mr. Cullen, do you understand what you are asking me to do, _tonight_? Just breathing those words to me has taken me to a place that I'm not sure you want to go with me tonight. You know I like it when you talk nasty to me." She took my hand and placed them between her legs. She moaned, slowly. "Do you feel that?" I smiled. "My whole body feels like that right now."

"I'm a big boy. Don't worry about me, Mrs. Cullen." I smiled. She froze on top of me. "Bella?" She smiled.

"I've never been called that before. I like it." She raised her eyebrows. "I really like it." She crawled off me, walking back to the bedroom. "I can't possibly let that beautiful leather just lay there and dry rot, can I?" She said.

"I guess not, Mrs. Cullen."

"ooouuummm...I want to hear that all night...if you dare." She said in almost a whisper.

Seeing her flustered like that had my erection standing tall in my pants. I got up to go bathe with her.

"Where are you going?" She asked.

"To take a shower with you." I smiled.

"Well, you can shower first, but not with me."

"Why?"

"Oh, no, Mr. Cullen. You will have me in that shower, and you will not care anything about that beautiful, dry rotting leather. Now, go, do what you need to do. And hurry up." She grabbed by ass, pushing me toward the bathroom. Oh, Hell no, this girl is trying me. I turned, walking back to her.

"Mrs. Cullen, if you don't stop teasing me, I won't be able to contain myself when I let loose on you. Do you think you are 'big girl' enough for that? Or will you just give me what I want right now?"

"Hehehe." She laughed. "Fat chance, Mr. Cullen." She removed her mini skirt and panties right in front of me, ran her hands between her legs and brought them between her lips. She traced her lips with her juices and pushed her finger into her mouth. Sucking each finger, then licking her palm.

I dare her...treat me like this. I won't allow it. I raced toward her, swooped her up, and dropped her on the bed. I was in motion to pounce on her.

"No! Mr. Cullen. Not yet." She smiled, opening her legs wide before me. She placed one hand in between her legs, covering her center and the other hand covering her breasts, like she was shy. What the Hell? The look on her face. Oh my...

I dropped my pants and underwear to the ground. My erection standing at attention. I took a step toward her and removed my shirt. I paused.

"Now, Mrs. Cullen, you promised me that you would freely give _that_ to me. You promised."

"Yes, I did, and a lady always makes good on her promises." She smiled, removing her hands from her body. She placed both hands at her center, then inserted a finger. My breathing quickly changed. My body literally in pain, having to watch this. She started rubbing her clit while fingering herself. Moaning at every movement, every stroke of her own fingers.

"Bella...don't." I whispered.

"What Mr. Cullen, could you possibly not want me to do?" She quickened her movements. Her body tightening in just the right places. I could imagine how her insides must feel as it tightens and releases. I took a step toward her. "Stop. You never answered me, Mr. Cullen."

"I...you...um..." She started giggling at me. I'm sure I sounded like a complete idiot. "That. Don't do that."

"What?" She let out a loud moan, took a deep breath, and held it. I knew what that meant. She wanted to come. Then suddenly, she stopped.

"Is that... what... you wanted... me to stop?" She said slowly, but very seductively.

"Girl, you are really trying me tonight." She scooted to the middle of the bed, right below the headboard, and opened her legs up wide, and touched her feet to the headboard.

"Are you talking about things like this?" She smiled. My eyes widened. "Do you want _this_, Mr. Cullen?" She touched her center again. She was dripping wet and only getting wetter. I could actually see her wetness gleaming in the light the way she was spread wide open. I felt like I couldn't breathe. My body was tingling all over and I felt weak in the knees. I want her so bad right now. No words can describe the absolute need I have for her. It almost feels like something is pulling me to her and my body is in pain for not going with it.

"I do. Right now." I stepped forward and put one knee on the bed. She shook her head no. "But..."

She got up and walked around the bed. She stood on her tip toes and kissed me while stroking my rock hard shaft. What is she doing to me? I feel like I am about to come undone. She released our kiss and pulled me to the balcony by my erection. She dropped to her knees right in front of me. I tried to take a seat, but she stopped me. Did she want to see me fall to my knees when I climaxed? "Bella.."

"Shhhh." She whispered, taking me into her mouth. She looked up at me and released me. " I thought you were a 'big boy'." She replaced her mouth around me. The feeling was indescribable. She grabbed the base of my shaft and squeezed slightly, coming up and down with every movement of her head. Her mouth is so warm. Her tongue so soft. Then, from nowhere, she began sucking the tip of my shaft, not leaving any air between. It felt like she was pulling my orgasm down. I grabbed a chair nearby. I looked down, watching her taking my whole shaft into her mouth. Deeper and deeper. I felt the back of her throat. My knees gave out. Thank god I had a chair to hold on to. I knew she was enjoying this. Expecting me to fall to my knees. She knew exactly what she had just done to pull that reaction from me. She took my balls into one of her hands and began moving them in her palm while taking every inch of me into her mouth. Over and over, she sucked me, stroked me. Massaged my balls. I grabbed her by her hair. "Ooohhh, Bella..." My erection got harder and she took that too. I began slowly pumping into her mouth. She released my shaft, but continued massaging my balls. I tightened my grip in her hair and quickened my pace. She allowed me to do as I liked. She placed her hands on my hips to maintain her balance and sucked me with such force, while I pumped in and out of her mouth. My climax was near, and I wondered how I would stand through this. I knew I wanted to cum in her mouth, but if I fell, I would come out. I tightened my grip around her head, instead of her hair. Depending on her for balance. I continued pumping into her mouth over and over until I felt it rolling through me. I tightened and shot every drop of cum I had into her mouth. She held her mouth there, moving back and forth slowly, until I rode my high down. She let me go, showed me my cum in her mouth and swallowed right in front of me. I could feel my shaft rising again, just from looking at her doing _that_.

"Girl, damnit. You. Are. Going. to get hurt. Tonight." I said through my teeth.

"I'm not afraid of you." She replied, tilting her head to the side.

I picked her up under her arms. She wrapped her arms around my neck and her legs around my waist. I held her up by her ass. I looked at her and smiled. "Oh, OK, Mrs. Cullen. Well, we'll just see about that." I held her small frame in my hands and pulled her lower body away from me. I lowered her frame onto my rock hard shaft, then stopped just as I felt my tip pressing against her. "Do you want this, Mrs. Cullen?" I rubbed my tip all through her wet folds.

"Yes." She whispered, while sucking on my earlobe. My shaft hardening again..

"Tell me how you want it, Mrs. Cullen." Still rubbing through her wet folds. I pressed against her opening. It was so warm and wet that I almost slipped in without thinking. I tightened my body from the denial.

"Hard."

"And what do you want me to do with you? Mrs. Cullen?" I placed my mouth on her earlobe. She bit down on my shoulder.

"Edward..." She whispered. "ooohhhhh. Ummmm." It drives me crazy when she makes those sounds. My mind was getting cloudy.

"Now, Mrs. Cullen. You can tell me what you want me to do to you." I stuck my tongue in her ear. She bucked down onto my shaft. Causing me to enter her. I pulled out.

"Nooo." She whispered into my shoulder. "Baby, nooo." I pressed into her again, but only half way, and pulled completely out again.

"Now, Mrs. Cullen, I'm waiting." I stuck my tongue back in her ear. She moaned my name and said...

"Please..." Almost to a whisper. "Fuck me baby." Her breathing became ragged. She stuck her tongue in my ear. "Please. Edward. I need you. Pleeeessseee."

I pushed quickly into her. I would never tell her this, but I was about to give up and just give it to her. It was very hard denying myself that long. Knowing what I needed was just inches away. She tightened her arms around my neck, and released a loud moan. I pulled out to my tip and shoved into her again. Watching her face with every thrust. I picked up the speed, squeezed her ass tight and watched as she curled onto my chest, taking everything I gave her. She was so wet and the smell coming from her center was intoxicating. My shaft hardened again. I was picking her up by the ass and letting her go on top of me, while I met her half way with hard thrusts. I stroked her in and out, harder and harder until I felt her tighten her walls around me. I slowed down. She was barely holding on now. I gave her a chance to get her grip around my neck. I raised her legs a little and allowed her ass to drop right below them. I kept her still while I pumped with all my might into her. Thrust after thrust came from me. I was looking for that spot all the way in the back. I had not found it yet. She screamed my name, more than I care to count. She tightened her hold on me and drug her nails across my shoulders. I gave her everything I had, until her body froze in my hands. "Oh, baby..." She squealed. "I'm about to..." I picked up my pace a little and held her tightly pressed against me, then gained a tight hold on my balance. I sucked her earlobe and stuck my tongue in her ear. She dug her nails into my shoulders again and screamed my name. I pumped harder a few more times and suddenly, I felt her wetness cover my shaft, pulling me in deeper. She felt so open to me now. I pulled back and began long hard thrusts into her again. Still moaning, she bit down on my shoulder. This girl knows just how to push my buttons.

This position was not giving me what I needed. I gently put her down, and turned her around onto the rail. I grabbed her hips, bent down and kissed her back. Licking down from her neck to her ass. Her moans were too much for me. I pushed into her quickly. She grabbed hold to the metal bars. I pulled completely out. "No, Mrs. Cullen. Let that go. If you want to hold on to something that tight, hold on to me. She let go and leaned up, reaching up and holding me by the head. I pressed back into her as she screamed my name over and over. She was still so tight and this position was making it feel even tighter. The sensations flowing through my shaft sent butterflies throughout me. She was so close to me. Holding my head down, toward her. I kissed and sucked every part of her neck and back that I could reach. Man, she felt so good, and smelled even better. I removed her hands from me and bent her down. "Hold your ankles, Mrs. Cullen." She looked back at me. "Edward, don't hurt me." She smiled. Flirting with me. I shook my head, trying to clear it. I had to bend my knees a little to reach her, but when I pushed into her, I felt exactly what I had been looking for. I pushed and pushed and pushed into her, filling myself up with how great this felt. "Touch the floor, Mrs. Cullen." When she did, I grabbed her thighs and picked them up to me. "Wrap your legs around me, Mrs. Cullen." There was nothing holding me back now. I pushed into her with such fierceness that her breathing shook with every thrust. I removed her legs from around me and held her thighs freely in my hand. I took all control from her. She purred and mewled over and over. Hearing her like this and seeing her ass right there, and her allowing me to take it any way I wanted, caused my climax to rise up within me. "Damnit, woman!" I said loudly. She squeezed her walls around me as I prepared for my orgasm. I bit my lip. My breathing became ragged and I continued thrusting into her. Suddenly, my orgasm rolled through me. I hardened again, except, this time, it was harder than I had been all night. I never slowed my pace. Bella screamed my name almost in a shreak. "Bella..inside or outside?" She breathed, "Inside." I released into her with all the force I could stand. It seemed to last forever. Her center was so hot and wet, and she had tightened around me. It felt so good. I didn't want it to be over. After a while, I finally slowed my pace and let her back onto her feet. I never removed myself from her. She stood straight up and attempted to step forward. I stopped her.

"Mrs. Cullen, where are you going?" I whispered, smiling in her ear from behind.

"Just going to the bed, Mr. Cullen."

"Huh, did I ask you to do that, Mrs. Cullen?"

"No...you did not."

I picked her small frame up by her thighs, never removing my shaft from her, wrapped my arms around her her chest, and walked to the bed. I teased her while walking, letting her know this was far from over. I put her down on her hands and knees on the bed. Finally, I pulled out of her. "Stay there, Mrs. Cullen. I'm not finish with you yet." I walked around the bed and lay on my back. "Come here, girl. Right here." I pointed to my face. She hesitated, but came and sat on my face, placing her hands on the wall. She took a deep breath. I placed my mouth on her dripping wet center. Her smell, mixed with her taste turned something on in me that I wanted to explore. I took my hands and opened her folds and gently placed my mouth directly on her clit. Bella practically jumped off my face. I held her in place. I began sucking her tip, and twirling it around my teeth. She swayed back and forth on my mouth, moaning, showing me how she liked it. When I looked up at her, her body was curled over toward the wall. She looked so vulnerable. It excited me that I could do this for her. Make her feel like this. I was so turned on. I wanted her to come quick.

I flipped us over, and pulled her legs down the bed, so she could lay flat. "Watch me, Mrs. Cullen. Pick your head up. I want to see you when you come."

"What makes you think I will come, Mr. Cullen?"

"Oh, I have no worries. You are welcome to try to hold it if you like. Even better." I placed two fingers into her, looking up to see if she was watching. Her wetness allowed me to slip my fingers easily in and out of her. I played with her clit with my other hand. I felt her tighten around me. She laid her head back and turned her head. I removed my finger and my mouth from her. "What did I tell you to do, Mrs. Cullen? Look at me. I'm about to make you come and I want to see your face." She did as I asked. I put my fingers back in her, gaining a loud moan, and replacing my lips. I laid my left arm across her abdomen. I began sucking the hell out of her clit. Sometimes, popping my lips over it and returning to suck it. I stopped shoving my fingers into her, in and out. I only moved them within her. She likes this before she comes. I continued sucking her with a steady rhythm. Not long after, she tightened around my fingers.

"Bella, come for me." Her hips began moving in a slow, circular motion. Meeting my face half way. I let her, but I began sucking her even quicker. Suck after suck, she finally moaned.

"Edward...no...I refuse."

I held her hips in place, and sucked with all I had. She attempted to squirm out of my hold, trying to avoid the quick orgasm. But, she forgets. I know her. And I know how to make her come when I want her to. I felt a fresh wave of wetness flow from her. I began pushing my fingers in and out of her again, quickly. Oh, my, the sounds that she gave out made me want to stop this all together and plunge back in her. But I held myself. As my fingers stroked in and out of her quickly, I sucked and licked her tip over and over. She began screaming my name and screaming no, no. "Bella, I will not stop until you come. Give me what I want." I removed my finger and licked and sucked her hole, then licked her ass, and back forward. She jumped up and hit her head to the headboard, giving the most delicious scream/moan. I pulled her back down again. "You will give me what I want tonight, Mrs. Cullen." With that, I returned my fingers and tongue to her. I sucked and popped my mouth on her tip, over and over, while quickly stroking my fingers in and out of her. She froze and held her breath. I knew it was coming. There was no holding back now. When her orgasm rolled in, the most beautiful look covered her face, while I continued sucking and stroking her insides. Damnit, this girl is so damn sexy. I sucked her until she grabbed my head, letting me know she was finish. I pulled out of her and looked her in the eyes. I sucked each of my fingers dry, then licked her center clean. I lay beside her, holding her, placing sweet kisses on her forehead. I could tell she thought it was over. She was ready to go to sleep on me. I told her not to tease me the way she did.

"Mrs. Cullen, don't get comfortable. I'm not done with you."

"Oh, Edward, I can't..."

"Mrs. Cullen. Sleep is for wimps, little girls." She looked at me. I smiled back. "Fine, go to sleep, but I will still have you." I chuckled.

"What ever." She turned to her side and threw her arm across my chest.

"Uh, you think I'm playing little girl. I am so serious. But go to sleep. If you think you can sleep through what I have for you next, you are welcome to it." I laughed.

I rolled her onto her back and crawled on top of her. I kissed her all over her neck and cheeks. Then I grabbed both of her legs and pulled them up onto my shoulders. I leaned forward and kissed her on her lips. She opened her eyes and smiled. "Edward...you win...please..." She said groggily.

"Oh, Mrs. Cullen. I'm so disappointed in you." I pressed into her. She squealed from the contact. "Can you really fall asleep on something like this?" I pulled out and pushed back into her as hard as I could. Her hips bucked at me. "Did I hurt you, Mrs. Cullen?"

"Never."

"Huh, I bet. Let me see again." I picked her legs higher with my hands and thrust into her hard, over and over. She began clawing at my chest, reaching for whatever she could grab. Ooohhhh, this feels so good. She pulled her eyebrows together into a hard frown as I pushed my weight forward on top of her, never letting her legs go. Damnit, I want those legs folded behind her. "Bella, fold your legs behind you like you do in Yoga." She looked at me, but did as I asked. I put most of my weight on her as I entered her again. This gave me a feeling that I have never felt before. She bucked her hips at me. Wow! It actually gets better? "Damnit! Bella, I don't want to come just yet. Damnit! Shit! Wait..." She chuckled at me, but she knew exactly what she had to do get me off of her. She held her legs back with her hands, tightened around me, and began pushing her hips toward me. "That's not fair, Mrs. Cullen. I...oooohhhh, Damnit, Bella." I picked up my speed, experiencing every new feeling I could from this new position. My orgasm was coming too quickly. Her and those damn hips. "Damnit." I held her hips still under my hands, and let go in her. Hard and rough. My breathing was a bit staggered, but I didn't care. She would pay for making me come so fast. I plunged into her over and over, shaking all over, trying to deny myself this final pleasure. It didn't work. She somehow moved her hips again, smiling at me and that was it. I hardened and began shaking all over. She held her legs tightly and screamed my name, over and over. I was so deep in her that she couldn't move at all. I released in her. "Damnit, Bella, Uuugh." I pumped as hard as I could, getting that last deep feeling that only came from this position. Finally, my hard was leaving me. If she had not already been pregnant, I promise, she would be after tonight.

I rolled off her. She giggled a little. "You are a naughty boy, Mr. Cullen."

"Now you tell me."

"You just hit places in me that I thought could not be reached. This just gets getter and better." She giggled again.

"Mrs. Cullen..."

"Yes..."

"I love you. With all my heart. I will never take you, your body, or your sex for granted. I promise."

"I know, Edward. Just don't ever let up on me sexually. I need you to give it to me like you did tonight." I smiled, rubbing her belly.

"Bella...I'm so glad you're pregnant again. I'm sorry for not saying it before. I allowed our _distraction_ to make me pass over something so important. Thank you." I kissed her belly.

"Thank you?"

"For giving me another piece of you to love. Bella, I couldn't be happier. I love you." I said drowsily.

"And I you, my love."

The morning came too quickly. We must have made love all night. I felt like I had just went to sleep. "What time is it, Bella?"

"Eight Thirty."

"How long did we sleep?"

"About two hours."

I chuckled. "Damn, girl, look what you do to me. All night?"

"Yep, all night." She smiled, and got back in the bed. "Do you want to sleep in this morning and see the city later?" She lay her head down on my chest and gently began rubbing.

"If you keep doing that, we definitely won't make it out of here today." I groaned, almost whispering into her hair.

"Edward.." She looked up into my face, smiling. "What has gotten into you? You always make me feel like you want me, but you have been very...needing, lately." She giggled.

"I do not know. Sometimes I find myself just thinking about you and our life together, and our children... It sends something through me that's indescribable. It makes me need you even more. Want you like that even more." I sat up, pulling her up with me. "Bella, tell me the truth. Am I hurting you? You are so small, and I know that sometimes I get very carried away. I just can't seem to get enough of you. Tell me the truth."

She looked down for a moment, then looked back up to me. She took a deep breath. Trying to find a way to answer me truthfully.

"Bella. Don't...you can tell me anything. Never hold back when you need to say something to me. Your needs during sex are just as important as mine. If not more. You have to endure the whipping." I smiled at her, trying to lighten the mood.

"Well, Mr. Cullen, granted, you do fuck the hell out of me at times, and you do hit places within me that I never knew you could reach, and you do push me to the limit sometimes, I would _not _change a thing. And, no, you are not hurting me, you would never do that. Rough, yes, but not hurtful."

I looked down. "Are you sore when I finish? Inside I mean?"

"Sometimes. But I always have, ever since the beginning. You were not as confident back then, or as rough, but I am small, and _he_ is very large." She smiled, pointing to my shaft. Damn traitor. Its rising up, just talking about this with her. "Edward, look at me. Please, baby, please. Do not change a thing. It's not always this rough. Not even most of the time. But when it is, I need it like that just as much as you do. Promise me. Edward, look at me, promise me."

"I will not, Bella. I will not hurt you, knowing I am. No."

She took her hand from me. "Damnit, Edward! I hate this about you. I told you...You. Are. Not. Hurting me. Damnit." She got up, clearly upset. "What did you think I was doing to you last night? If you didn't recognize it, it was called teasing! I made you wait to have me, just to build the desire up in you. To do..._that! _You even made me tell you what I wanted! I told you to fuck me!_" _She stormed out of the room. I ran behind her. She slammed the bathroom door behind her and locked it. I could hear her crying behind the door. I knocked. "Edward, go away. I don't want to talk about this, or hear your silly guilt trips right now. You make me feel like I should not be honest with you, sometimes. Go away!" I heard her muffling her cries.

I placed both my hands on the door, and the side of my face. "Bella, baby, I'm so sorry. You know I'm a stupid man, and I only want to make you happy. I just couldn't bear it, knowing I am hurting you. Even if it meant me feeling good. If you say that I am not, then, everything is fine. Nothing changes. Bella, please, it pains me to make you feel like this. Please, come out."

The lock popped and she opened the door, eyes red and puffy. I curved my lips down into a pout. "You forgive me? Please be patient with me."

She pulled my face down to hers, rubbing her nose against mine. "Baby, please, relax. I am not a child, neither will I let you injure me without saying something to you. I know exactly when you will get like that, and I push you, right up to the very end. I am in no way innocent in all of this. So, please, just give me what I ask you for. OK? I do love _him_ very much." She smiled.

"OK, Bella, anything you want. And, _he_ loves you, too." We both laughed. I picked her up, and lay her across the bed. I kissed her tenderly. It would seem like after so many years of being with her, I would not still feel like a teenager. Butterflies, all in my stomach and my chest. The love that we have is all consuming. I crave it. I desire it. I need it. Sometimes, I can't breath, when she's upset. The slightest chance of losing her, that I imagine, makes me weak at the knees. I fear that above all else. It would cripple me. Being away from her would destroy me. She knows this. She knows she can have her way with me if she desires. But, she never abuses my heart to satisfy herself.

"Edward..." She pulled me on top of her. "Lets stay in this morning." She wrapped her legs around me, and slid me into her. I entered her gently, kissing her breathless. There was no need to rush this. We both had gotten that out last night. We lay there, placing our hands and our mouths on each other, everywhere we could reach. She gave me herself willingly. Every inch of her. I knew she would never deny me. Never be able to stay away herself. I rolled her away from me and say on my side. I slid into her from the back, holding her close. Kissing her neck and holding her breasts. We stayed like this forever. She reached back, tugging at me, wanting more, needing more. I pulled out, turning her back toward me, and rolled, pulling her on top. I entered her again and pulled her close. I worked her slowly. She moaned, deeply, the whole while she was on top. She knew how her moans did something to me. She wanted it harder, filling her to full. I gave her what she wanted. But I never let her go. We kissed so gently. So slowly. I literally could feel her love pouring into me. It took my breath away. We did this well into the afternoon. She had not come yet. I had, twice. She knew what she was doing. She knew just how to push me to the edge. And loved every minute of it. Aaahhh, she's doing it again. That way she tightens around me, and lifts her hips toward me. It allows me into a place that I could not reach otherwise. She did it over and over again. Only, this time, it felt different. Wetter, tighter.

"Baby are you going to come for me?" She moaned and shook her head.

"Can we come together?" She moaned again.

We hadn't come together in many years. Somehow, we got away from it. I picked up my face just a bit. I held her legs up in my forearm and pressed a little harder into her. Her breathing quickened, and her nails dug deeper into my back. "Edward..." "Bella...yes." We both came at the same time. It was hard holding her steady while coming with her. I pressed some of my upper body weight onto her and gripped her thighs. She bucked and squirmed below me. My pace had quickened, so she was sliding all over, but I held her firm. She took every single drop of what I gave her, milking me in the process. Whining deliciously into to my ear.

"I love you, Edward. Always."

"And, I, you, my love." We slept the rest of the afternoon in each other's arms.

Later, she jumped up to take a shower and woke me to do the same. "Lets get out of here." She sounded excited. "I want to see the infamous Las Vegas."

Over the next couple of days, we took in several shows, and walked the streets shopping and seeing new things. We had a great time together. As always, we did as we liked during the day, and our nights belonged to each other. We made love only twice after that first day. We finally had our fill of each other. Everything was absolutely perfect.

On our fifth day, we passed a baby store in one of the malls we visited. It made me think about how excited I was about our new baby. We stopped in the food court to get something to eat. I was still heavily in thought about our new baby.

"Edward. What's wrong?" Bella asked.

"Nothing. Absolutely nothing." I smiled widely at her. "I was just thinking about our new baby and how excited I am about being here with you this time. I can not explain to you just how much that makes me love you more. How much I already love him or her. Bella, I never asked you how far along you are. Do you know?"

"Well..." She smiled and paused. "About four and a half months."

"What! Are you serious!" I felt angry. "How long have you known?" I asked with a little more accusal than I intended. She froze. Her eyes wide. I had never thought to ask before, because I assumed she just found out and had not gone to the doctor yet. But she knew all this time? Meeting that bastard. He could have hurt her and my baby.

"Edward..." She looked down, turning her head. Was she ashamed? For what? "This _is_ your baby. I swear to you." She whispered. "I will have a blood test ran immediately for you, if you have any doubts. I would never do that to you." Her voice becoming frail and weaker.

I got up and sat beside her, wrapping my arms around her shoulders. I looked her in the eyes. "Bella, I never meant anything like that. Oh, my... I'm sorry you mistook me. I only thought you went to the doctor without me. I want to share every moment with you concerning this pregnancy. Plus, why would I ever consider anything like that. I'm offended you would think anything like that of me. You are such a silly girl." I smiled at her. "Bella. I forgive you. And, I do not blame you for any of that. Now, you promise me. No more of this kind of talk. _Never_."

She looked down again. "OK, Edward...If you like. Can I say one more thing though?" I shook my head. "I promise to spend this lifetime loving only you. Giving all of myself to only you. And to never, _ever_ break your trust in me. I need you in my life." She lay her head on my chest. "I'm _soooo_ sorry, baby."

"OK, now, Bella, that's enough." I said sternly, pushing her away from me. "I accept, _perfectly_, what you just said. Even though I knew that already, whether you told me or not. I will not have you all sad and stressed out with my baby inside of you. I will not allow it, Bella. If you want _me_ to be sad, even angry at you, continue this crazy talk. We have a lifetime to figure out the rest. For now, please, consider only yourself and this new life growing in you. Please, Bella."

"I love you." She smiled.

"I want to talk about our new baby."

We talked for what seemed like hours about her last pregnancy, the twins, her sickness, what she ate, things she liked to smell and did not. I was thoroughly overjoyed.

After a while, we decided to see the city. We left the mall and passed by a sign that said, "Get married today. $39.95." I stopped and looked at Bella. "No, Edward. Alice and Esme would kill us."

"How would they know? We can still have your, or _their_ dream wedding. It will be our little secret." I was so excited. I was almost jumping. But Bella was not so convinced. "Aahhh, come on baby. It'll be fun. Spontaneous. Pleeeease. Pleeeeassse. Bella." She smiled.

"Well, I guess it would be very sneaky of us, wouldn't it? You promise not to tell them. This is very important to them." She perked up. Seeming as excited as me. "Let's do it." She giggled as I picked her up and swung her around. "Oh, Edward...Are you sure? With all that's going on at home?..."

I put her down. "Bella...Damnit, you promised. Let's go home."

"Home?" She whispered. "But...Edward..."

"No, Bella, I'm tired of _him_ spoiling every moment we share. I can not seem to say the right words to you, or express myself accepting you, enough for you, or give myself enough to you, that will make you believe, Damnit, that I love you. I need you in my life. I. Do. Not. Care. About the rest. Damnit, Bella. Let's go."

After practically making a scene on Las Vegas Boulevard, I walked off from her. So damn angry that I could hit something. I felt her hand grab my shirt. I stopped, but did not turn around. "_What_, Bella." I said with as much anger as I could. She came around in front of me. I turned my head, refusing to look at her. I knew once I did, I would not be able to stay mad at her anymore. I wanted to be angry. I needed her to understand. She gently pressed her hands to my cheeks and pulled my face down to hers. When I looked at her, tears were everywhere. Her make up was ruined and her silent, controlled sobs were heartbreaking. I held my ground. "Yes, Bella." I said a little lighter. She pulled herself together. Her mouth pouting, forming an involuntary frown.

"Baby, please forgive me. I just don't know what to say to you. I have made a mess of things, and I am worried. I don't want you to get hurt over this or hurt anyone. I just can't bear the thought of losing you again. I know you don't care about what happened between him and me. I know now, also, that you forgive me. But, Edward, that still does not fix my mess. Edward, I'm afraid." Tears rolling down her face. This was the most honest she has been with me since we got here. I pulled her close, hugging her tightly. My heart was literally breaking, knowing my love was actually afraid. What kind of man am I. I should have seen this from the beginning.

"Bella, we will work this out. I promise you that. No matter how long it takes, or how much it costs."

"That's exactly what I'm talking about. The cost. I will not allow you to handle this at any cost. Edward, I swear, if you leave me again, I will just die. I will be no good for our children. Edward, please, hear me."

I chuckled. "Bella, I was talking about monetary costs. I spoke to my dad a couple of mornings ago, while you were downstairs. He offered to get a restraining order against Jacob, and even find a lawyer to see how to scare the hell out of him financially. He later called me back saying Mom even suggested us all moving for a while. Maybe go to our summer home in Paris until he calms down. You know she will not let us go far with the twins without her. If he still refuses, we will go after him with a vengeance that you can't imagine nor does he want to see." I smiled at my last statement. Bella looked confused. "Don't ask, Bella. Now, I have not been here in Las Vegas for the last five days without thought for our future and the future of our children. Just because I don't bother you with the details does not mean that they don't exist. I am nothing if not thorough. OK, Bella?"

She smiled. Wiping her tears. "You could have saved me from all this worry?" She pushed me, smiling. "Edward, I'm sorry, I should have known that you would neither take my safety nor our children's safety for granted. You are my knight and shining armor." She hopped into my arms, wrapping her legs around my waist.

"Woah, Bella. You know what that does to me."

"Shut up. Now, lets go get married."

I smiled, my eyes widening. "Really, Bella, do you really mean it?

"You heard me. Let's go!" She giggled. We ran down the street, her straddling my waist to get a license. We were so excited.

We got married at the Chapel of the Flowers. It was beautiful. They had everything there that we needed. The tux, the wedding dress, hair stylists, rings, everything. We decided to play along. If we were going to get in trouble. We may as well do it in grand style.

Everything was so beautiful. They left nothing to be desired. She was absolutely breathtaking, and her smile reminded me of the sun. We chose to do our own vows. We knew that nothing they could ever offer us could even a fraction describe the love we share for each other. After our vows were said, and we took pictures, I whisked her up and ran from the building. I couldn't wait to get her back to the room. Tonight would surely be one to remember.

We arrived to our room, all giddy and happy, and slid our key into the door. It did not work. I tried again, wiping the card on my pant leg. I put Bella down and tried again. I was confused. Huh, maybe it got desensitized. "Bella, stay right here. I'll be right back." I ran to the elevator, and to the front desk. I explained what happened and asked for another key. She looked up my name and said. "Oh, Mr. Cullen, you checked out this afternoon. Were you wanting to get another room for the night?"

"What? I never checked out!"

She began clicking on her computer. "Mr. Cullen, you paid in cash at three twenty five this afternoon."

I hit the desk and ran back upstairs to retrieve Bella. My heart was beating way too fast. I froze as I exited the elevator. She was gone. I panicked.

"Bella! Bella!" I heard a muffled scream coming from behind me on the elevators. I rushed back to the Elevator and went back to the first floor. I ran to every person I saw, asking if they had seen a woman in a white wedding dress leave the lobby. No one had. I waited for the other elevator to continue its decent.

When it opened, no one was there. I gasped. I ran back to the counter and demanded a manager speak to me, immediately. I told him what had happened to my room and what happened to Bella. He called the police, and brought me to the back to look at the video from this afternoon. Just as I thought...Jacob. That bastard. He took my Bella, and somehow thinks he will get out of this hotel alive. I told them which floors I saw the elevator stop at. They began searching every room for either of them. I called Dad, who was coming with Mom on the next plane out.

I gave them a picture of Bella that we took today at our wedding. My heart fell in my stomach as I glanced at the picture. I knew what he would try to do to her. I knew she would never forgive herself if he did. I had to do something. I thought about Bella's phone, that had Jacob's number in it. I went to the negotiator and gave it to him. He created a local Forks number to call Jacob from. The phone rang. Jacob answered. "Hello."

**A/N: Alright all...what did you think? Continue on or not? **

**Reviews are better than Edward's rock hard shaft ramming deep into Bella's tight little toosh...**

**Come on...give me what I need... review, review, review!**


	10. Chapter 10:  Kidnapped

**Chapter 10: Kidnapped**

**((((( Jacob's POV )))))**

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in my story although I wish I did I do not. They belong to Stephanie Myer.**

**A/N: Hello family...here's chapter 10. It's a bit eventful in many areas, so stay with me. If you get pissed off, that's alright...just keep reading my next updates. **

**To my readers...I love you. Some of you PM me with lots of love, and I really want to say that I appreciate the time that you spend reading my stories. They have turned into my babies, and I try to write with the same emotion that I think the characters are feeling...I hope I don't disappoint...If I miss sometimes, stick with me...I promise to make every attempt to improve...love you!**

**Usually, I write with a special song selection in my ear to inspire me. This chapter was really hard to stay listening to anything. I hope it relays to you the passion that I tried to let you feel from Jacob and Bella.**

**Anywho...read, read, read...**

_Huh, she thinks she can just dismiss me like I don't exist. Never! Like I'll just let her ride off into the sunset with him. Huh, little does she know, I have watched her apartment for months now. Leaving me will not be as easy as she thinks. We will see. Huh._

I dusted my clothes off, and smiled. I knew exactly how I would get them back. I dare them to flaunt their relationship in front of me like that. She knows she still wants me. I told her I would forgive her for everything.

I called my contact and got the name of their hotel, along with any information that she had on them. I waited on them to board their flight, and took the next one out. The flight was long, but quiet. It gave me a chance to collect my thoughts and iron out any kinks in my plan.

My contact rented me a room in the same hotel, and the same floor as Bella. I know she will be elated to see me, if even only for a moment. I can see the look in her eyes every time we meet. It lights the fire within me. It consumes me. She is so beautiful. How could he ever have denied her? I would never leave her. Never cause her that much pain. Really, he can only blame himself for Bella and I falling in love. Oh, well.

Two days ago, I had decided to surprise Bella after _he_ left. She opened the door for me, naked, and walked back to the bedroom, twisting and rubbing her hips, teasing me, putting her finger up behind her...asking me to follow her. Her body was so perfect. I had gotten from that visit so much more than I had ever imagined. She was so frisky. The way she kissed me and bit me and scratched my back totally turned me on. She loves playing hard to get with me, but I don't mind. I love her for more than her sex, anyway. My only complaint about that morning was that she smelled just like him. I could tell that she needed a bath. Not that she stank, but just not her regular self. She smelled all over like her lust, her wetness, with a mixture of..._him_. I just didn't understand how it was all over her like that. Gross! It turned me completely off.

I will never forget her smell. It is what has me addicted to her today. Craving her presence. Her taste. I was so close that morning. I wanted her so bad. I was willing to take any part of her that she would give me. Even make her feel good like last time, so long ago. But she claims she is still not ready. Love making is a way of showing the other person that you are willing to give them everything you have. To share the most intimate of moments. To get lost in your emotions, and the desires of your body. Maybe that is why she will not go to the next level with me. Maybe I need to show her that I am willing to give myself wholly to her. Holding nothing back. She would have to love me then. Complete this beautiful love that we already share. I just hate that, that...Edward has to be with her all of the time. How does she ever breath? She has to get tired of him smothering her. Maybe, I could do something about that, too. He has to see the loss of attraction that she has for him. She probably calls my name out in her sleep just like she called his out when he was gone. Huh, just the thought of that makes my whole body tingle with excitement.

When I went to bed that night, I dreamed of her, only. I left a message for her, and text her goodnight, and an I love you. No response. That Fuckin' Edward. It infuriates me when he doesn't allow her to talk to me. I would never have denied her talking to him when he was in jail. I would have encouraged it. What? Is he afraid of a little competition? I welcomed it. I still consider myself the winner. I got to spend months with the woman of my dreams in my arms, night after night, and won her heart, forever.

I think that maybe a confrontation with Edward would get everything out in the open, and she will not have to worry about hurting him, herself. I could tell him all of the gory details that he allowed, and let him know that we are in love, and I will be fighting for her. Somehow, I know that once it is all out, she will not have to fight her feelings for me so hard anymore. She could just let go, and allow our love to move forward. To grow into something so beautiful that it would transcend all time and space. Nothing else would matter again. But, I know she would be angry with me, at first. I could deal with that. She would definitely thank me later.

I decided to do it first thing the next morning. I would go to the apartment, and make my stand. I felt so excited. Like my life was about to begin. No more hiding. No more lying. We would finally work through all of this, together. Of course, I knew that Edward would never just bow down, but that would be ok. He could never beat me at this game, anyway. Besides, there is always plan B. Huh, well, we would see.

I never slept that night. I just thought about what I would say, and the things she would say to refute what I was saying. I thought about Edward's reaction, and what I would in the end be willing to accept. When the sun came up, I got dressed, and could barely contain my excitement. I went to the apartment, but no one was home. I decided to wait. No one came home the whole day. As I sat there, I wondered that had happened. Were they gone? Had she left me? I called my contact that keeps and eye on things for me.

"Hello." She said.

"Look, they haven't been home all day. What's going on?" I asked.

She told me about a trip they were taking alone to Las Vegas. How they were leaving the children to rekindle their love. I was infuriated.

"When are they leaving?" I said roughly.

"Tomorrow, early afternoon. For seven days." She informed me.

I hung up. Thinking, thinking...what was I going to do? How could I stop this? I simply could not allow that to happen. What would I do without her for so long. And definitely not allow him to get closer to her. To try to push me out, even replace me. Never! How could she? She knows how I am with her. She knows I can't go long without seeing her or being in her presence. Damn Edward!

I sat there in my car, shaking my head, pulling at my hair, wanting to just scream, scream _all_ of the pain away. I needed a release. The pressure was building up so tight within me that it caused me actual, physical pain. My head started swimming, my hands began shaking and everywhere I looked was fuzzy. I knew that if I did not allow myself to release this, I would literally lose my mind. I just let myself go, and I did just exactly what I needed to do. I screamed, and beat up on the steering wheel, and the seats, and my stomach...everything I could hit, I hit. Every cuss word I could swear, I swore. Every image of killing Edward I would imagine, I imagined. Everything that is making me angry came crashing in on me. In the end, I really felt no better than I did before. But, worse, much worse. I looked into the mirror at myself. Angry tears were streaming down my face. My eyes were bloodshot red, and my hair was everywhere. My usual, clean look was gone. I looked like an enraged dog. I felt like one, too. I was even willing to act like one, given this situation.

"I will not allow her to whore herself between the both of us. She _will_ come clean tomorrow. She will choose. And she better make the right choice. She better do the right thing at the airport."

I waited at a gas station that they had to pass on the way to the airport. I saw them, and followed them into the parking garage. I parked at the first spot I saw, and waited on them. When I saw Bella, my heart leapt. Then all I could see was _him_. Why would she hide from me? Especially after she showed herself to me just two days ago. I felt my shaft stiffen. They paused their approach. They appeared to be arguing. Huh, just what I thought...I do cause a problem between the two of them. She was telling him that she wanted to talk to me. He denied her. I balled up my fists, and took a deep breath. If I am the one she wants, she should be able to freely do as she likes. I noticed them approaching again.

I told Bella how I did not like her avoiding me. When I spoke to Edward about Bella and my past and present, that crazy bitch jumped on me and clawed the Hell out of my face. As I lay there on the ground, I knew what I had to do. I took the trip.

After a few days of getting myself familiar with the hotel's system, I decided to make my move right after Bella left with him. I checked them out from their room television after being let in by the maid. Then, I went downstairs to pay the remaining balance owed on their bill. This would completely close out their room. I also took all of Bella's items for her to come with me. It worked seamlessly. The attendant never asked a question about who I was, nor asked for my identification. I waited in my room down from them. When they arrived, the scene went just as I planned out. That fool left Bella alone. Stupid fool. I immediately grabbed Bella from the back, and turned her to me. I smiled and said, "Surprise, honey. I knew you missed me. I've come here to save you from him." I smiled at her and kissed her on the lips. She froze in my arms. I do not know why she always has to play hard to get with me. When she began to protest, I placed my lips on hers again, and kissed her again with so much passion that it gave me butterflies in my stomach. Bella slapped me, and began screaming at me.

"Jacob! You just do not get it, do you? I will go nowhere with you. I will stay right here, and wait on Edward. Do you not see that I am in my wedding dress? I married Edward today! Get away from me! I hate you, Jacob!" She began walking off.

I stood there stunned. I had never noticed the way she was dressed. "But, Bella. You love me, why would you..."

"Oh, shut up Jacob. I am so tired of this psycho bullshit. Move on, already! Its over!"

I slapped the Hell out of her, and grabbed her by her neck, dragging her to the elevator. Once in, I muffled her mouth to stop her screams. I heard Edward call Bella's name. She tried to scream, but I muffled it. Hopefully he heard nothing.

We exited on the third floor. I forced Bella down the stairs to the first floor. We got inside the cleaners truck that I had waiting, and I tied a bandanna around Bella's mouth. I then tied Bella up, and attached her hands to a hook above her head.

In about an hour, we arrived at an Inn that I had chosen earlier in the week. I chose this hotel because it had direct access to the room. I figured that she may be a bit frisky and may need to wrestle with her, so I didn't want a room full of witnesses in the lobby of a hotel.

I parked, and looked back at Bella. "Bella, we will be getting out now. I expect that you will behave yourself. I am in no mood for your Shit, Bella. If you act up in front of these people, we will just leave to my second spot, and I will...just do not try me...OK..." She did not say a word. She just looked at me with tear filled eyes and shook her head.

I removed the ties from her hands and feet and mouth. I looked at her once more. Letting her know I meant business. She shook her head as a reply.

When we got into the room, I was so angry. I suddenly remembered the last three or four days. She had ignored my every call. My every text. And every email. She even went behind my back and married that Bastard. I looked at her. She was still dressed in her wedding dress, her hair and make-up still perfectly done. I went over to her and said, "Do not move, Bella." I clawed and ripped that dress off her until she stood before me in just her underwear, garter belt and heels. Damn, she is so fine. I was immediately aroused by the sight before me. White lace everywhere. And her smell. I could almost smell her lust. Not strong, but it was there. I smelled her neck and shoulder. Rubbing her back, pulling her close. She knew not to say a word. I cradled her into my arms, still kissing her everywhere I could reach. I placed her on the bed. I could already imagine just how good she would taste in my mouth. How she would feel with me inside her. I crawled onto her, kissing her lips, her neck, her chest. I unbuckled my pants and wiggled them down without removing my mouth from her

"Jacob..."

"Shhhh. We both need this. We have been apart for far too long. It will remind us both what we mean to each other. Shhhh." I placed my finger to her lips.

"But Jacob...I'm pregnant."

"What?"

"Well, I'm sorry for all that I have put you through. Can I talk to you?"

"Sure." I rolled over and sat beside her.

She sighed. "Jake, I have missed you so much. I felt so trapped. I am really glad you came to rescue me." She hugged my neck for a long while, then let go. "I came to my senses at the airport. I saw the look on your face. How much you really loved me. Edward never looks at me that way. I knew then that you were who I should have always been with. I am so sorry."

I leaned over, taking her in my arms. She kissed me like never before. Her every emotion was involved. Her body moving closer to me, then straddling my hips. "Jake, I will not lie to you again. I do love Edward, but I love you more. Can you be patient with me while I sort my feelings out? I know where I want to be now, but that does not stop how I feel. I did it wrong with Edward, and I do not want to do it wrong with you. Plus, I will miss my children. I have to get use to being away from them. He can have them, and we can raise this baby as our own, together. Could we Jake? If not, I could give this one to him, and we could have another. What ever you like, baby."

I was elated at her words. I had waited so long to hear this from her. "Bella, all I want to do is make you happy. I can wait. I will wait forever for you if I need to. And yes, this baby will be ours. We will raise it as our own. I love you, Bella, always." I stood up with her legs straddling me still, and hugged her very tightly. She giggled and told me she loved me, too.

My phone rang. "Hello."

"Jacob...Jacob Black?"

"Yes, this is Jacob."

"Mr. Black, this is Sargent Darren Giles with the Las Vegas Police Department. I am calling about Mrs. Bella Cullen." 

I put Bella down, saying nothing in response to him. I was thinking about just how I should respond. I looked at Bella. She walked over to me, smiled, and hugged my waist. "What, baby, what is it?" She asked.

"Put Edward on the phone." I commanded the Sargent. He attempted to continue talking to me, but I only repeated my previous statement. Edward came to the line. I was looking directly at Bella, trying to read her expression before I handed her the phone. "Edward, Bella has changed her mind. She came with me earlier, and needs to talk to you. I handed Bella the phone. She looked apprehensive about taking the phone. "Just tell him what you told me, baby." She took the phone and turned toward the window.

"Edward..." She whispered. "I am so sorry. I love Jacob. I never meant to hurt you, but after seeing him at the airport, I realized how much he cares for me, and how much I really love him." She paused, listening to his rebuttal. "I understand that, Edward, but that does not change the fact that I want to be with him now. You can have an annulment filed. I will not fight it...I know, Edward, if you like. I will not interfere. Just tell them that I love them, but I have to attend to my own happiness now, too. Edward, I have to go. Please try to understand." She hung up. Tears in her eyes. I hugged her gently.

"Baby, it will be fine. Your heart will heal, and I will fill it with all the love in the world for _us_. I love you so much. Thank you, Bella." She hugged me back and told me she loved me, too. It just annoyed me that she was so sad, again over him.

I took her to the bed and lay her down. I covered her with the blanket and lay next to her all night. It reminded me of long ago when she needed me. I wrapped my arms around her with my hand on her stomach. This is so exciting...I get Bella, and our baby all in the same day. I am so glad I came here. It can't get any better than this. I wonder how long, this time will it take her to get over him. Damn, Edward. I hate him for doing this to her, again.

**Day 2**

Bella woke up early, sick. She threw up almost all morning. I held her hair over the toilet and got cool towels for her wrist and head. Even though I hated seeing her sick, I was glad to be able to take care of her. Once Bella was feeling better, she said she was hungry. We got dressed, and went to Denny's to eat. Before we left, I asked, "Bella, all those things that you told me last night...was it all true?"

"Of course, honey." Looking in her bag.

"Bella, look at me." I said sternly. She looked up, shocked at my tone. "Bella, I need to know that you will not just run off screaming, trying to get me hurt, or put in jail." I walked up to her close. "I would hate to have to hurt you or your Edward for such a betrayal."

She smiled, and touched my face, that was directly at her nose now. "Jake, I am sorry if I am a slow learner. I am even sorry that you do not trust me. But I am where I want to be. Here, now, with you." She kissed my nose, quickly, and smiled. "Now, come on silly boy before I throw up all over you, again." She laughed. I looked at her for a long moment, but decided I believed her, and laughed, too.

After arriving at Denny's, I decided to not sit and eat. Police were everywhere, and were obviously looking for someone. It should not be Bella, after she spoke to Edward yesterday, making herself clear about what she wanted, but I did not want to take any chances. I would not lose her now. Not after we have gotten so close. We ordered double meals for each of us for later, and went to the room to eat.

On the way home, I noticed Bella looking out the window at two policemen walking into a business. It was like she was trying to get their attention. Her whole body was turned from me, and it looked like her hand was doing something in front of her. "Bella! What the hell are you doing?" I snatched her around to plant her back the seat.

"Nothing, Jake. What do you think I am doing?" She half smiled.

"So you think that I'm stupid, don't you?" I pushed her head. "You stupid bitch. Don't you know I'm looking at you? Damnit, Bella! You been playing me the whole time." I snatched her close to me with one hand, and shook her. "Now, you are working my patience. As a matter of fact, when we hit the room, take all your clothes off, except that pretty bra and panty set. If you plan on running, I will have you before you go. Tonight."

Tears began flowing down her eyes. She put her hand to her belly, and put her head down. He sobs were light, but her body was trembling like a leaf. Even though I felt for her when I saw her like this, my anger over ruled my softness toward her.

We arrived at the room. She walked in first and put her food down. She took a seat and began removing the food from the bags.

"Bella! What did I tell you in the car?" I walked quickly toward her. I was about to rip them off her myself, had she not stood and put her hands up to me, palms out.

"Jakie, baby, listen to me. Please, Jake. I was not trying to do anything you accused me of in the car. My head was laying on the headrest of the seat, while my body was turned to its side. I was feeling nauseous, and was trying to hold myself together. Remember, I threw up everything I had in me, this morning?" She looked at me with the cutest puppy dog eyes. "Jakie, I promised you before we left, and I plan to work my hardest to prove myself to you, if you still will have me." She looked down, then back up at me. She closed the distance between us and placed both hands to my face. "Jake, you complete me. I love you, and I love how I feel when I'm with you. Please, don't destroy what we have. Please have a little faith in me. In us, Jake." She kissed both my eyes, my nose and finally my lips. Her lips were so soft and warm, and her breath smelled like honey and the ocean. I pulled back.

"No, Bella. I can't. I can not allow you to scam me. To tell me just what I want to hear, instead of the truth. Take your damn clothes off. Now!" She jumped back, and did just as I commanded. I looked at her in her panties and bra, and my breath got caught up in my chest. She saw my reaction and stepped back toward me, smiling. "No, Bella. That will not work this time. Get on the bed!"

"But Jakie..." She said, but did as I asked.

"Now, Bella, I want to do this the right way. I want you to ask me to do this, but it is getting harder and harder for me. Especially not being sure if I will have you tomorrow. I will hold myself today, but Bella, would you let me taste you? We have done that before, and its been so long, Bella, please.

"Jakie, tonight? Baby, I'm hungry, and I am scared of you right now. I don't want that to be my first memory of us together, as a couple. Do you want that?"

I sighed, but I understood. I have been acting crazy today, and I want all our moments to be special...memorable. "Ok, no, I do not. I understand." I sat next to her and helped her sit up. "But, Bella, when will you be ready? Will you ever be? I love you, and I want to show you. I want to give you all of me." I put my head down. She reached for my face.

"Jakie, of course I will soon be ready. The only thing that may hinder us fully making love is this baby. I've never had sex while pregnant before, and to be honest with you, it scares me. What if we hurt the baby?" She smiled. "But that other thing, we can definitely do, soon. If you still want to." She looked at me seductively. "I still remember just how good you were at that. Yum, yum, yum." She giggled a little. "Especially how hot you looked when you licked each of your fingers after." She giggled again, and hugged my neck, and whispered in my ear. "You thought I forgot? That was the best experience of my life. No one had ever done that to me before. I will always remember, Jakie."

I smiled in her hair. "Let's eat."

The night went well. We talked and laughed. I even tickled her on the floor. This day ended perfectly. I laid beside her when she got tired, and held her close. "I love you my Bella."

"And I you." She said groggily.

Day 3

The morning went by just like the morning before. She was horribly sick, and was almost inconsolable. I kneel on the floor beside her and held her hair and flushed so the smell didn't make her worse.

We went and got pancakes from McDonald's, and later, we went to see a movie. It was so funny. We saw Death at a Funeral. She almost fell out of her seat laughing. Her laugh was intoxicating. Her smile addictive. She looked over at me looking at her, and smiled at me, leaning over, kissing me on the nose, and squeezing my hand. She is really affectionate and loving. I am so lucky to have her.

Later, I asked her if she minded us leaving the Inn, and going on to Los Angeles to stay in a nicer suite. She agreed, and we got on the road. She sat really close to me. If the car didn't have the middle console, she would have probably laid on my lap. She was very tired. The pregnancy was taking a toll on her. That's all she seems to want to do lately, besides throw up. But I understand. Our baby is more important than anything right now, even my personal needs.

When we arrived in Los Angeles, we stayed at the Embassy Suites near the Airport. It was a beautiful place to stay. It was built like old New Orleans with a center courtyard. The room even had a mini kitchenette. She loved it.

When we got to our room, it was very late, so we left our bags at the door, and went to bed.

I held her close, as always, and rubbed her belly until I went to sleep.

The next ten days went by quickly. We went shopping, downtown Los Angeles, and even took in a couple of movies. She seemed so happy. She smiled more than I have ever seen her smile. She laughed at all my dumb jokes, like she always did, and we lay close every night, saying we loved each other.

**Day 15**

Her morning sickness did not come this morning, but her face looked pale, and her hands were shaky. She told me not to worry. She was just very hungry. I paid extra special attention to her today. I could not imagine her losing this baby. I was already in love with it, and it would break me as much as her if something happened to it. That night, we did as we normally do. We laid close and I held her while rubbing her belly. Only, tonight, she rolled over, and faced me. "Jakie..."

"Yes, honey."

"Are you tired?"

"What is it, Bella, are you hungry?"

She smiled. "Kind of, but not that kind of hungry." I looked down at her. She smiled.

"Really, Bella, what about the baby?"

"Well, not that either..." She looked down, and blushed.

"Ohhhh, definitely. I'm never too tired for that." She smiled and kissed me long and hard. I could not believe she wanted me like this. Her kiss said that she wanted me. Her body tight against mine said she wanted me. I kissed her back with just as much passion. I moved down her body, kissing everywhere my hands touched, then made my way to her center. It was not as wet as I remember it being long ago, but the smell was still the same. So sweet. She looked down at me, and parted her legs wider. Then, she grabbed at my hair.

"Jakie, don't make me scream. The neighbors will hear." My shaft rose at her request. Anyway...now, I will make _sure_ she screams. Who gives a damn about some damn neighbors, anyway.

I pushed her legs all the way open to me, opened her lips and inhaled deeply. "Damn, Bella. You are so sweet smelling." She pushed my head between her legs. My mouth met her tip ever so gently. She tightened up, immediately, moaning. I sucked her pussy for what seemed like forever. She was moaning, but no screaming yet. "Bella, can I put a finger in?" "Yes, of course. Do what you like. This is your time." Something traveled through me at her honest words. It was warm and sweet. A brand new feeling for me. We would have to discuss this later.

I continued sucking her tip, them inserted one, then two fingers. I knew immediately that that is what she had been waiting on the whole time. She grabbed a pillow and shoved it under her. She then opened her legs up wider than they were before. "Oh, yes, Jakie. Like that." I pushed my fingers in and out of her slowly, then quickly. She began screaming and calling my name. Her juices were flowing so freely, now. I sucked every bit of it up, and swallowed every gush she sent me. She began tightening her walls around me finger and bucking her hips toward my mouth. Her hands also tightened in my hair. I began sucking a little quicker, but slowed down the pace of my fingers. She was getting closer. I could tell. Her pussy was so wet. I licked her tip again, then inserted my fingers as deep as they would go. She tightened and released, screaming and shaking all over, running from me. I pulled her back and sucked her until her orgasm was over. I came up and kissed her stomach and breasts. She was breathing hard and shivering everywhere. I never removed my fingers. I just slightly moved them every now and then. I looked at her. She had the same look of lust in her eyes. I removed my fingers from her, and traced her lips with one finger.

"Jake.." I kissed her hard. She tasted even better on her lips. Damn, could it get any better than this? "Jake..."

"Yes..."

"More, Jake." I smiled.

I rolled us over, pulling her on top of my face. She gasped, but held on to the head board. I sucked her until she came in my mouth, again. This time, the orgasm seemed to be harder, wetter. She crawled off my face, leaning over to kiss all her wetness off my face. She smiled at me.

"Jake..."

"Again, Bella?" She smiled.

"Not if you don't want to."

"What has gotten into you tonight?"

"Maybe it was the way you took are of me today. It was so sexy how you genuinely looked concerned. I'm sorry. We can call it a night." She turned over. "Thank you Jakie."

I turned her back over. "Bella, as long as you want me to touch you, suck you, what ever, I will. Never apologize to me for wanting me." She smiled. "Come here."

I took her and stood her up, putting her leg on the bed. I then gave her a chair to keep her balance. I sat in the rolling chair and pulled up in front of her. "Are you sure you can handle this again?" She nodded her head. "OK..." I placed my mouth on her. This time, flicking my tongue back and forth over her tip. Reserving the sucking for the end once she was ready to come. She immediately loved it. She was moaning and screaming in no time. I placed a finger in her, and her leg almost gave out. I had to support her weight. I didn't mind. I liked her needing me. I quickened my pace and got her to the point that she wanted to come and removed my finger. She moaned, missing the feeling. "No, Bella, not yet. I want to come together." I pulled my shaft out, and began stroking it with some of the wetness that came from Bella. I continued licking her tip and sucking her hole. I laid her down on the bed. I could not hold her weight and concentrate on myself. I kept her at the end of the bed and had her hold her legs up. I was close to my climax, so I began sucking her at a steady pace. She moaned and pulled her legs wider for me. "Jake..I..." Before she got it out, she was coming. All in my mouth. It sent my shaft to rise. She shook and tried to run from me. I held her still and inserted my tongue in her hole, and returning to suck her until she rode her high down. 

She got up, and grabbed my shaft, tightly. Damn, she did that so good. She let go and passed her hand in between her legs, and went back to stroking me. She never even got a chance to put her mouth on me, before I was coming. Just seeing her rub her hands between her legs sent me over the edge. She squeezed tight and stroked me until I came all over her stomach. "Damn! Bella!" I fell down to the bed, weak from not coming in so long. "Bella... I want you. Do you think we can?"

"I don't know, Jake. Like I told you, I've never tried it. I'm actually scared to try. What if something happens to our baby?"

"I know. Maybe we shouldn't. We have time, right?"

"A lifetime." She whispered and smiled, hugging me and laying her head on my chest. "I love you, Jakie."

We went to bed just like that...naked. I held her close. I was so happy. She was finally allowing herself to love me. To give me all of herself. I never want to leave this very spot. Hopefully, when I wake up in the morning, this won't all have been a dream. A great, wonderful, passionate dream.

**Soooo? What did you think? Are you pissed? Has Bella lost her mind? Has Jake lost his mind? Where the Hell is Edward during this time?**

**Let me know your questions...I'd love to hear them.**

**Reviews are better than watching Bella sit on Jake's face...well...not quite, but you know what I mean...**

**Review, Review, Review**


	11. Chapter 11:  The Closer I Get To You

**:Chapter 11: The Closer I Get To You**

**((((( Jake's POV )))))**

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in my story although I wish I did I do not. They belong to Stephanie Myer.**

**A/N: To my readers/reviewers, I love you, and thanks for taking the time to drop me a line of encouragement. Your reviews mean the world to me.**

**Day 16**

I woke up to find Bella gone from my arms. I jumped up, and ran to the door. "Bella!" When I stepped out the door, I saw her walking up to the room with a huge smile on her face. She had food in both hands, piled high. I frowned. "Bella! What are you doing? Why did you leave out of this room?" I was clearly angry. I thought she had ran off.

"Jakie, don't be like that. I wanted to surprise you with breakfast this morning. You had a long night last night, and I let you sleep in. Is something wrong?"

I snatched the food from her hand, and threw it on the bed. "What did you do!" I grabbed her by her shoulders, shaking her. "Where did you go! Answer me, Bella!"

"Jake, you're hurting me. Stop, Jake."

"Answer me, Bella! You called him, didn't you. Is that why you let me do that to you last night? So I would be tired this morning? Damnit, Bella!"

I began throwing all our stuff into bags and told her to sit her ass down.

"Jake, listen to me. I called no one. I spoke to no one. I saw no one. I told you my intentions already..." She stood up and walked toward me, squeezing my upper arm as much as her little hands could. "Jakie, I love you. Didn't I show you that last night?" She put her head down. "It meant nothing to you? Because it meant everything to me." She said in almost a whisper.

I stopped everything and looked at her. "Bella..." I whispered. "Do you mean it? Was it really?" I lifted her face up by her chin. "Oh, honey, I'm sorry. I just thought that..."

She looked up at me and placed her hands on both sides of my face, smiling. "I know...I know. You think that the first chance I get, that I will leave you. Well, baby, it will take more than that to get rid of me. I hope this is what you want. I will not be changing my mind. Never. So, relax...please Jakie."

I smiled and kissed her. "OK...I'll try. I just can not imagine losing you now. We have gotten so close. It would crush me. I know I would probably kill myself. Please, Bella, let this be real."

The rest of the day went by fast, but sweet. We laid in the bed, practically naked all day, and just kissed, and touched.. It seemed like days went by like this. I had lost all the tension from earlier in the week when she got us breakfast. I believed her, but I didn't at the same time. It just seemed too good to be true.

We decided to drive north. We had no direction, we just were driving. We stopped at rest stops for her to use the restroom, and ended up three or four days later in Sacramento. We took our time, and stayed at a couple of hotels and shopped when we could. She really enjoyed shopping.

Sacramento was a beautiful city. The water, the people, the shopping. I could see us staying here. It could be a great place to raise our children. We could resume our careers, and grow old here.

**Day 25**

Ever since our first time pleasuring each other, she has let me suck on her any time I wanted now. It was so easy to make her come. She even came one time just from me fingering her and sucking her nipples. I want to be in her so bad. To feel her walls tightening around my shaft. Pumping in and out of her. Holding her close. Her opening her legs wide for me, the way she does when I suck her. Inviting me in deeper and deeper. My body feels like it is breaking, being so close to her without actually being in her. She did help me get my releases though. She would suck me and lick my shaft until I just could not take it any more. She was so good at it. She would take every inch of me. She even seemed to like it. She sucked me in the shower, the bed, while I read the paper, anytime she felt. I did the same to her. She filled me to full. Made me not want, or think about anything or anyone other than her.

That night, we were very tired. Our room was really nice, and I had surprised her with rose pedals all over, new lingerie, and a diamond necklace, waiting in the room for us, when we arrived. She was so excited and thankful. We touched and kissed all day. So, when bedtime came, we were both no good.

I crawled next to her, and wrapped my arms around her body. She slept with the pink lingerie I had delivered for her. I kissed her shoulder, like I do every night, and told her I loved her. She replied, groggily, "I love you too, Edward."

"What! What did you say to me! Bella! Get up!" I shook her awake. "What did you just say to me?"

"Jake, what's wrong? I don't know...I think I said I love you last. Why are you angry?"

I slapped the spit from her mouth, and jumped on top of her on the bed. I was screaming so loud in her face that I was spitting, demanding her respect. How could she be here with me all this time, and be thinking of him. I grabbed her by her shoulders and squeezed her so tight that it would probably leave bruises of my fingers. I slapped her again. "You will respect me! You will get your mind right, Bella! I am tired of this shit! You dream of him almost every night. Now I get called his fucking name! I have enough of this! I have been patient enough! Now, its your turn to be patient. Bella, turn over on your back!"

I turned her over, and ripped her underwear off. Then, I took mine off. My erection rose quickly, anticipating what we were about to do. She fought me, kicking and screaming, begging me to stop, but I was much too strong. "Jake, I'm sorry. I am trying. I'm sorry, please Jake."

"Bella, shut your lying ass mouth! You probably aren't even pregnant!" I crawled on top of her, and choked her as tight as I could. "You lying bitch!" I pulled my already hard shaft into my hands, repositioned myself, and pressed against her opening. She was dry, so my entrance was not as easy was I had imagined it would be. She shifted her hips, and it moved me away from her opening. I pulled her back.

"Jake, please, baby. Don't. Jake, please. Not like this. Not while you are angry. Jake...baby, this would be our first time. Not like this...please, Jake, and the baby. Jakie, what about the baby?"

I paused. "Shut up, Bella. I am not mad anymore. I just want you, badly. Now."

"But Jake...OK, I will allow this, even participate, if you give me three minutes. Just three minutes. If you still want to do this, then have at it. I will not fight you any more."

"What is it, Bella?" She knew this was what I wanted more than anything...for her to give herself to me, willingly.

"Go over there, and look in my purse. I want you to see something." She said.

I looked at her apprehensively, but got up and did as she asked. Three minutes could not change that much, anyway. I rummaged through her small purse and found two things of interest to me. Both made me feel very warm inside. First, was a picture of she and I that we took forever ago, in the mall. Second, I found the pregnancy test. "You kept this picture all this time?"

"Yes, Jacob, of course I did. You didn't?"

"Why, if you chose to be with him?"

"Jake, you were my friend before all else. You made me feel alive again. I loved you, just different than I did Edward. None the less, I still loved you. And I missed what we had. If you hadn't gotten so possessive, and had been patient, we could have still been friends. It was just a little hard for me at first to talk because of all the things going on in my life. I did miss you, though. I looked at the picture when I needed to talk or if I wanted to see you, Jake." She said with her head down. "Now...that's it...what is happening here, today, Jake? I need to know." I froze where I stood. Never breathing a word. "Jacob?"

I put the picture down at the end of the bed and walked to Bella. "Get up, put your clothes on." I helped her up and turned my head, allowing her to dress. "Bella, I'm so sorry. I have messed everything completely up, haven't I?" I turned to her. "I mean, I have hit you, bruised your face and shoulders, demanded your love, willing to take your sex, disrespected you and now, kidnapped you." I put my head down.

"Jake," she began walking to me, "I forgive you for it all. And I do love you. Its just not the way you love me. Not yet, but I am willing to try. If you still want to. I know I am a mess, and will take a lot of work to get use to, but I hope you are still willing to take a chance with me, Jake." She smiled at me. "Wanna do that?" I grabbed her up, swinging her around. She giggled loudly. "Wait, Jake, the baby. I feel sick." I slowly put her down. She ran to the bathroom, and threw up.

She was distant the rest of the evening even though she said she forgave me. She still talked to me, but nothing like it had been earlier. I could tell she was very sad. I even saw her drop a few tears when she thought I was not looking. I just do not know what to say to her to make it better. I have really messed up, and I deserve this, plus some.

Later that night, I was still feeling really bad for what I had done to her. The more time passed, the more her bruises darkened. Her face was black and blue and purple from me slapping her twice and her arms looked the same. It was hard to look at her. "Bella...I am so sorry." I traced the bruise on her face. "I promise to never put my hands on you like that again. Only in love. I'm such a stupid man. Is there anything I can do for you. I could suck you and make you come all night if you like."

She looked at me. I could not quite place the look. Maybe shock or disgust, or maybe it was nothing. She quickly smiled through the look, and touched my face. "Jacob, I'm alright. Just a little sad. I'm also very tired, and sore. I am bruised up pretty bad, and it hurts, Jacob." She said, kind of annoyed.

"Jacob? Bella? You hadn't called me that since you first left him." My eyes looked down. "Bella, you are mad, tell me the truth. Tell me. I will not get mad." I looked at her, begging for the truth.

"OK, Jacob, I am very angry at you! Look at me!" She stood up. "You keep saying you love me, but all I really am to you is just a whore. That's how you look at me. And a bitch. And someone to control. I have done nothing to deserve this treatment, and I really do not want you touching me right now. I expect to be treated with some respect around here, or I will turn my love off from you so quickly that it will make your head spin! I will not willingly love you, and at the same time feel like I am being forced to love you. If you insist on forcing me, I will not willingly do it. You are welcome to force me all the time. Do you want me? You want to fuck me, Jacob! Well, go ahead, because I will not willingly be giving it to you for a long time. Your actions make me sick!" She looked at me and paused. She took her night clothes off completely, and laid on the bed. "Come on, Jacob, take it. That's what you want, anyway. Come on, Jacob!" She turned her head away from me and spread her legs open. "Come on! I'm just a whore any way, right! That is what whores do, right, Jacob? Fuck men for chore? Come on, lets get this shit over with. That way, all of my bruises can heal at the same time."

I stood there with my mouth open. She has never been that honest with me all the years we have known each other. "Damn, I have really messed up. Bella..." I whispered. "Put your clothes on." I pulled the sheet on top of her, and walked to the side of the bed she was facing. She turned over, the other way. "Bella, please, I do not look at you like that. I have a horrible attitude and and even nastier mouth. You are the most beautiful woman I've ever met, and I adore you. I am just stupid, please forgive me."

She never answered. I looked over her at her face. Her face was soaked. Tears flowing everywhere. She began sobbing. I felt like my heart was being ripped out. How could I? "Bella, do you want me to leave for the night?"

"Yes." She said harshly.

"OK, I'll get another room. I will see you in the morning. Again, I'm so sorry, baby."

"Don't call me that."

"OK, Bella. I am really sorry." I walked out and got another room for the night. I felt so bad. I knew winning her back would be a total challenge. She would not easily forgive me, or forget. Damn me. I lay in my new bed, alone, cold, lonely. I had been with Bella every night for weeks, and I missed her. I never slept.

**DAY 27**

Morning came. I was still hesitant to go back to her. Her wrath stung. She did not have to hit me to hurt me. She had taken back the one thing that I wanted most of all. Her heart. I got up the next morning, got dressed and left out the room only when I had to check out of it.

When I entered our room, she was up and dressed. I walked over to her. She was obviously still really pissed. I smiled a huge smile at her. She turned her head. "Bella, please, talk to me."

"What do you want me to say, Jacob?"

"I don't know. Scream at me, cuss me out. Just talk to me." She turned and looked at me.

"Jacob, I forgive you, but I need some time to not be angry. I feel so small right now and unloved and unappreciated. I know what you said, but one thing I know about you is when you are angry, your raw truth comes out. That is the real you. Your _real_ thoughts. You can't deny that."

I looked down. I had nothing to say.

"Now, lets go down and find me something to eat. I am very hungry, and my stomach hurts terribly in my side."

We left to find a restaurant to eat at. We rode downtown, and noticed people putting fliers on telephone posts all over the city. Neither of us gave it any thought until we stepped out the car. It was on the ground as we walked through the door of the restaurant. "Have you seen her?" It said. It had a huge picture of Bella taken recently. "$1,000,000 REWARD!" We both gasped. Everyone looked up and started pointing, asking if that was her. I grabbed Bella and ran out the door. We ran to the car, and burned rubber out of there.

"I think that guy got my license plate number." I said quickly. "We will have to get another car. Another city."

"Jacob, I do not want to leave this city. I love it here. Who cares anyway if they find me. I thought we were past that."

I looked at her. "What?"

"Jacob, no one can make me go anywhere I do not want to go. Just relax. I am still hungry. Stop here."

We went to a quiet little Spanish restaurant. Very sweet. She took my hand and led me quickly in. I was still very distracted at the fliers posted all over town. I could not get my head back to Bella. She saw me about to lose control. She knew where this may lead. I knew, but I had to hold down. _Remember, she has done nothing wrong._ I chanted to myself over again.

"Jacob, you wanna get married?" She asked.

I looked at her with my mouth open. "What?"

She smiled. "You heard me. Wanna get married?"

I picked her up. "Really, Bella? Really? No one could take you away then. Really?"

She smiled, again. "Sure, lets eat, and do it immediately. Why not?"

We sat and ate. I could barely chew my food for being so excited. My smile was attached permanently to my face. She giggled at me the whole meal.

We left there, and found the courthouse to get the license. People noticed her from the poster, but said nothing. I could tell they were questioning themselves, looking at her being so happy. We got the license, but we had to wait three days to get married. That was fine. We would just stay hidden until it came time to get married.

We got back to the hotel and got lots of eyes looking at us, whispering. She kissed me deeply, in front of them in the lobby, and went to our room. When we got there, I grabbed her up, kissing and hugging her. The only problem now was that her stomach was a little larger, so I did not want to hurt her or the baby. I put her down, still kissing her. "I love you so much, Bella." She seemed distant again. "Bella, what is it?"

"Well, I just thought about last night. It still really hurts. I hope no one noticed the bruises through my heavy make-up."

"Oh, Bella, how can you marry me if you are still angry with me?"

"Jacob, I want you to be happy, regardless. I can't give you me fully sexually, but I can give you me forever."

"But, you are not happy." I said sadly.

"Oh, I am. It's just his constant reminder of yesterday is not helping me. I will be fine."

"Bella, we can wait. I do not want you to marry me like this."

"What ever, Jacob." Walking off.

"That's another thing. I will not marry you, either, while I am still 'Jacob'."

"Whatever, Jacob. Whatever you like." She said dryly. "I am too tired to have this discussion with you. I'm going to bed."

"What do you want me to do?"

"What do you mean?"

"Can I stay the night, or do you want me to leave, again?"

"Oh, you can stay. Lets go to bed."

We lay in the bed. She laid as she usually did, on her left side, but I stayed on the other side of the bed with my back to her. I knew she did not want me holding her, yet, and I did not deserve it, anyway. I barely slept the whole night, warring with myself to stay away from her. It was the hardest night of my life.

Three days passed, four, five, six days. She still was no happier than she was before. I took her to another hotel, hoping the change of scenery would help her mood. I went out and bought her the largest diamond necklace I could find. I was afraid to buy the ring just yet. I even got myself a room for two nights, next door to her. All with the hope that she would return to me. She did still talk to me, even smile, but she was not the same. Honestly, it scared the hell out of me. I thought maybe she was planning to leave me, and go back to him, so the same morning I bought the necklace, I also bought a gun off the street. I hid it in the car so it would not upset her.

She was still very sick in the mornings, and sometimes throughout the day. She was now about six months, I would guess, and was showing greatly. She was so beautiful, even pregnant. She complained about pains in her sides often, but dismissed it as her body was stretching.

**Day 34**

I woke up that morning, excited to see and talk to Bella. She had allowed me to lay with her all night. She even asked me to hold her. It was definitely a step in the right direction.

Alright..let's review...Reviewing is better than Bella sucking Jake while in the shower.


	12. Chapter 12:  Complications

**Chapter 12: Complications**

**((((( Jacob's POV )))))**

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in my story although I wish I did I do not. They belong to Stephanie Myer.**

**A/N: Well, we're coming to the end of Bella's captivity. She has proven to be a very crafty girl. Stick with the story. It will get a little worse before it gets better, but trust me...the better will be worth the wait. **

**I've slowed down posting because I have hit a brick wall in the story. Well, maybe not a brick wall, but a major turn. I took it, and I don't like where I went, so I have lost three long chapters, and am rewriting. I have tried to salvage them, but I can't seem to take the characters where I want them. Be patient with my short chapters while I get them written. They'll lengthen soon enough.**

**If I haven't told you often enough, I love the Hell out of my readers and I appreciate every moment that you spend reading my jabber. I really love reading your reviews, and I have responded to each one to date. And to my shy reviewers that PM me, I adore you. You have great questions, and call me on my shit. **

**So...go ahead and read, and don't forget to leave me a quick word or two.**

**Oh, I almost forgot. I have written another story called Little Miss Insatiable. It's a story about Jacob and Nessie. It starts out a little detailed, but the story has warlocks, nymps, deception, heartbreat, love, and most of all, as the story title states, insatiability (horny, horny, horny little miss Renesmee.) With all of that, add innocence to the mix. You'll love it. I am enjoying writing it just as much as I enjoy writing this one, if not more.**

**Anyway...I know that you're tired of my rambling...read!**

**Day 34**

Bella woke up. Surprisingly, she seemed in an even better mood than the night before. She got up, had no morning sickness, kissed me, told me she loved me, and went on to take a bath. I asked if I could join her – something we never did before. She happily agreed. I kept my distance, though, not knowing exactly what to expect from her. She stepped really close to me, causing my shaft to harden immediately. She looked down and smiled. "He's happy today, isn't he."

"Only because of you."

She smiled wider. "Jake, I want you so bad right now. I dreamed of us making love, and how wonderful it felt. Do you want to try?" She took me in her hand.

"Bella..." I whispered, while she kissed my chest. "Bella. No, no, Bella. Stop."

She looked stunned. "But, why Jake?"

"I want to wait until we marry. We have waited this long, and we can wait a little longer. I have messed so much up so far, and I refuse to go any further in my wrongness. Besides, you are still in pain. I see it all in your face." She suddenly fell into may arms, moaning, slipping to the ground. "Bella! Bella! What's wrong, honey. What can I do?"

She only moaned, clutching her stomach, tightly. I gently picked her up into my arms. She threw up all over the both of us. I placed her against the wall to clean her up, and to take my shirt off. When I turned around, she was laying on the floor, eyes closed and not moving. "Bella! Oh, my god!" I called the ambulance and got a cool towel to try to shock her back. I even added ice. She almost instantly came back to me. Her eyes were very weak and her body was curled over in pain. "My baby." She whispered.

"Don't worry, I called the ambulance. Everything will be OK. Just try to relax."

"Jake, No! Edward will come. Tell them I'm alright."

"I will do no such thing! If Edward comes, I have something for him if he wishes to take you from me."

"Jake, what does that mean? I don't want you hurting him. He has to take care of my children. And Jake, that would not make me happy." She threw up again, causing her body to shake all over. She was obviously getting very upset.

"I will not do anything to him, Bella, I promise. Now, just calm down." Of course, I lied to her. There is no way he is going to take her from me now. Over his dead body.

The ambulance arrived. I gave Bella her purse, and followed her to the hospital in the car.

Of course, after they saw Bella, they immediately recognized her from the fliers, and called the police. I was not worried, I knew what she would say.

Bella was checked out in Labor and Delivery and they found that she was in early labor. She had only dilated one centimeter. They had given her a drug to stop the labor. It seemed to be working.

Later that afternoon, Edward showed up with his mother and father.

"Bella!" He screamed, a bit too excited for my liking. He ran up to her and hugged her. He never acknowledged I was standing there. "I have missed you so much. Dad will have you transferred to his hospital, and we will take care of you."

"The hell you will!" I screamed at him, stepping closer to Bella. "She wants to stay here with me, and she will not be going anywhere!" He laughed.

"Jacob, you are going to jail, today."

I smiled smugly at him. "We will see about that."

"Bella, how are you honey. Carlie and Brady have been worried sick about you. They even refused to eat for days in the beginning. They would only drink juice. They will be so happy to see you, again." Edward's mother said, holding Bella's hand, smiling a beautiful smile at her.

Bella had never said a word yet, she looked shocked, stunned, sad. "Bella?" Edward said.

She looked at Edward. Her eyes glassed over. "Oh, Edward." She began sobbing. "I can't go with you. I told you before on the phone. I meant every word of it. I love Jacob, and I will not leave him. Today or never." His mother gasped. Edward balled his fists.

"Bella, you are still my wife, and rightfully, I can have you committed to a psych ward if you do not stop this foolishness. I will not allow this to go on another day."

"Well, do what you need to do. I still will not come with you. I don't love you anymore." She looked at me. My eyes were red and my body clinched where I stood. She knew I was about to explode. She looked down at my pocket, where I had my gun. The handle was showing from when I readjusted my position. She gasped. "Edward, get out of my room right now! Now! You are upsetting me, and you obviously are not listening to me. Get out!"

Edward's face dropped. He began to protest, but his mother and father grabbed him, and pulled him out the room. "I _will_ be back, Bella." He looked at me, scoldingly.

I began pacing. "I dare him to speak to me like that! To threaten to take you away from me! To put you in some loony person's hospital! What is wrong with him!" My hands were shaking. I couldn't think straight.

"Jake, what were you thinking? Bringing that gun in this room? You promised me, Jake. No violence. I am a grown woman, and I do not need you or him telling me what I need to do or where I need to go. Now, I will go with you, but if you don't get rid of that gun right now, I will go another two weeks without speaking to you. This is not funny or realistic, Jacob, and I will not have it!"

The evening went on. We didn't hear anything else from Edward. His mother and father only visited. Bella refused to see them. She said it was just too hard right now. She wanted to concentrate on the baby. His mother told Bella that she was not leaving the hospital, and she loved her.

The next morning, Edward came to the room, roses in hand. "Thank you, Edward, for the flowers, _we_ love them." I said, smiling at Edward.

He stepped back and looked at Bella. She looked at him, but remained expressionless. I knew she was hurting, but what could I do? "Edward, can we talk?" She asked him.

"Of course. That's why I'm here." He sat down and looked at me.

"I'm not leaving."

"Jake, let me get this over with, step outside. It will be easier for me. Please."

"Alright. I'll be right outside the door." I kissed her on the lips for a long moment. She responded, and I walked out.

It was only ten or fifteen minutes later when I heard voices being raised. They were screaming at each other, both accusing the other of various things. She had sat up in the bed, and had tears streaming down her face. He was crying, also. I did not know whether to break up the argument, or just let it go on. I rather enjoyed seeing him hurt. He stormed out and slammed the door.

"What did you tell him?" I asked.

"Well, the truth." She looked down. "Well, kind of. I told him this baby was for you, and I had lied to him the whole time he had been out of jail. I also told him that I was only with him because I felt bad that he had gone to jail for me." She began sobbing again. "Oh, Jake, I'm such a horrible person. I don't deserve either of you."

"Well, baby, it's over now. You will never have to do that again." I leaned down, kissing her forehead, and wiping her tears away. "I need to leave to get rid of this gun. I'm so sorry for bringing this in here. That was stupid of me. I'll be back in about an hour." I passed Edward's parents in the hallway and left.

When I returned, there were four police cars at the hospital. I knew they were there for me, somehow. Edward stepped out the hospital with a policeman and his dad.

"What is it now? Do you have bad understanding?" I scolded Edward. He looked me straight in the eyes and smiled.

"Not as you would think."

I pulled my gun out, and pointed it at him. He stopped in his tracks, and dropped his smile. "Oh, don't be humble now. Go on, be cocky like you were about to be with me." Two policemen drew their weapons on me. "Put those down, now!" I yelled, then cocked my gun. "I will shoot and kill him, then welcome you do the same to me. Now! I am not bluffing!" I lowered the gun to his abdomen. The police lowered their guns and put them on the ground. "Now, Edward, what were you saying?"

Hands raised in the air. "Nothing, Jacob. You took Bella from me, and I am angry. I just want you to go away, and leave me to my family."

"That will _never_ happen. We are deeply in love, and I would never leave her for you to slop over."

"Damnit, Jacob! Don't you see! You are delusional! She has never loved you. Its been me the whole time."

"No, no, she would not lie. She gave herself to me and everything. She loved on me and touched me in ways no one else ever has."

"No matter...she is mine Jacob. You will never have her."

"NO!" I screamed. The gun accidentally went off in my hands. Edward fell to the ground, bleeding everywhere. I ran over to him, looking to see just where I had shot him. "Damnit! It was an accident, I'm sorry." I looked past him into the hospital, thinking just how I could get to Bella, and get us out of here. The cops began moving toward Edward, and reaching for their guns. "Stop!" I commanded. "I will shoot you, too." They froze. I ran and got into my car and sped off.

"Oh, my God, what did I do. It was an accident. She will never believe me. I promised her I would get rid of this damn gun. I promised her I would not hurt him. She will be so hurt. So angry with me."

I raced through the town to our room, threw everything we owned into suitcases and raced back to the car.

"She will forgive me. I only solved a problem for her. I can deal with a month of her not talking to me. She still loves me. She proved it to me, over and over, again. All I have to do is lay low for a while, and go back to find her. Hopefully, I can be back before the baby is born. She will definitely need me for that."

I got on the highway and rode up, towards Oregon. I had been there before, and even had a small home there that I put in my mom's name long ago. I would to stay there until things calmed down a bit.

**OK Folks...what did you think? **

**Reviewing is better than having Edward coming to rescue you from a mean, sex addicted Jacob. Well...I'm not really sure if it's better...I would love to have either of them, personally...anyway...**

**Review, Review, Review!**


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13: Recounting those horrible thirty- four days**

**((((( Bella's POV )))))**

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in my story although I wish I did I do not. They belong to Stephanie Myer.**

**A/N: I think I'm back on a roll. Here's one of the final chapters dealing with the horrible Jacob. We'll move into what the Hell Jake, then aaah Jake...i think...You probably have no clue what I'm talking about, but stick with me. I have a plan...lol.**

**To my Readers/Reviewers: I first want to thank you for taking out your precious time to read my story. I know there are thousands of great fics out there, but you chose mine, and I'm honored. Second, I love to read your reviews. They warm my heart and make me feel all warm and tingly inside. I try to answer each one. **

"How could you let him get away!" I screamed at the two police officers that let him go. "He will _never_ stop coming for me! Never! Does he know I betrayed him? Does he know I faked being ill to come to this hospital?" Everyone stood there, mouths open, speechless. The two police officers, Esme and Carlisle. "Don't look at me like that! How could you have ever believed what I said! This is ridiculous! Where is Edward?" I jumped out of the bed, pulling the needles out of my arm. ".Edward?"

Carlisle approached me, stepping in front of Esme, who was obviously upset. "Bella..." He said in his calm down Bella voice. "Edward..." My heart dropped. I knew by the look on his face that something else went wrong. I fell to my knees, clutching my stomach. "Carlisle, don't. Please do not tell me he's gone or hurt. Please..." I began sobbing. "It was all planned out." I looked back at the officers, and stood to my feet. "What did you do!"

"Mrs. Cullen, we were out there with Mr. Cullen, who left out before us. He left us in the waiting area. We went to look for him, and he was outside, approaching the suspect. They passed a few words, and the suspect drew a gun on him. We attempted to stop him, but he threatened to kill Mr. Cullen. We were forced to put our weapons down. They passed a few words, the suspect screamed no, his hands and body began trembling, then the gun went off."

"It went off? You mean he shot Edward?"

"Well, yes, Mr. Cullen has been shot, but it seemed to be an accident. The suspect gasped when the gun went off, and even went over to Mr. Cullen to see if he was OK. When we attempted to approach Mr. Cullen, and our guns, he threatened us with his gun, then sped off. We attended to Mr. Cullen until someone came out to see about him."

"Edward!" I ran out of the room, running through the halls. "Edward!" Esme and Carlisle grabbed me, pushing me into an empty room.

"Calm down, Bella, you have to think of the baby. Calm down." Carlisle said in a firm voice. "Edward is in surgery right now. Jacob shot him in the stomach."

"Oh, Edward. Oh, my! I should've just stayed with Jacob. This is all my fault. Again, he has given his life for me. I'm so selfish." Esme hugged me, but said nothing. "Esme, you must be so angry at me. Please understand. I only allowed all of this to protect Edward and our children. Jacob is highly delusional, and extremely dangerous. He threatened Edward in the very beginning. I could never have lived with myself knowing Edward was hurt because of me. And now, here I am, again. Taking from him what I do not deserve. I bet he stepped in front of Jacob, trying to keep him away from me." I sobbed onto her shoulder.

"Bella, love, don't ever talk like that. We know how you feel about our son." Carlisle said. "And we also know how you feel about your children. Your words were just so convincing, and your eyes were set in stone. It confused us. We're so sorry for ever doubting you."

"Carlisle, Esme. No, please forgive me." I allowed some awful things to happen over the last month, just to get to today. I'm so ashamed." I covered my face and walked to the door. "Is Edward going to make it? What are his chances?"

"He will be just fine. He spoke to us briefly before surgery. He said for us to stay with you at all times, and never let you out of our sight. He also said that he loves you. Always." I fell into the chair behind me, weeping into my hand. "Bella, stop this immediately. He will be fine. No vital organs were hit, and he had little internal bleeding. He will be home with us in no time. Now, calm down. He would not be happy with you acting like this."

"Carlisle, you know Jacob will not stop, right? He will press and press until he gets what he wants."

"Bella...everything will be fine." Esme came to me saying.

"But...Esme...wait, where are my kids?"

"They're safe. Alice took them to her home in Florida, about a month ago. We didn't want to take any chances with them. They're fine. We talk everyday and see them twice a week." Esme answered.

"Esme...does Jacob know I tricked him today?"

"No, there is no way he knows. I didn't even know."

"Edward never said anything to you?"

"No, Bella, you know how he is with you. He probably did not want anything to hinder him stopping Jacob."

"Oh, Esme, how will he ever forgive me? What have I done?"

"Honey, you are already forgiven. If fact, there is nothing to forgive. You had to survive this past month, alone. And, baby, you did it. I am _so_ proud of you." I leaned into her arms. Esme always makes me feel good about myself, even when I don't deserve it. "Never again apologize for living, for surviving. That really upsets me, Bella."

Carlisle stepped up to us. "Bella, can I ask you a question?"

"Anything."

"How did Edward know what your plan was?"

"He knew from the beginning that I would never agree to stay with Jacob. When we spoke on the phone that one time in Las Vegas, when I told him that I loved Jacob, he told me that he would never stop until he found me. I told him I understood and I wouldn't fight him. He told me to be careful and to survive until he got to me. I knew then that he wouldn't rest until he found me. Today, Edward came in, wanting to talk to me. I had convinced Jacob this past month that I loved him dearly, and would never leave him. He was encouraged that I would break Edward's heart willingly, so he left the room to let me speak to Edward. In those fifteen minutes, I told Edward to not listen to anything I said in front of Jacob. I told him how I missed him, and how to properly detain Jacob. It should have gone smoothly. I don't understand what could have been wrong. Edward should never have confronted him. I specifically asked him not to do that. Jacob is a ticking time bomb, and is totally unpredictable. Completely dangerous. He had that gun in here earlier. I got mad at him, and demanded he get rid of it. I told Edward that, but I also told him that he probably would not completely get rid of it."

"Bella, you are _very_ brave, and even more smart. We are _very_ proud of you." He gave me a huge hug. "We've missed you so much, my daughter."

About four hours later, the Doctor walked in, carrying a smile. "Mrs. Cullen?"

"Yes, call me Bella."

"Well, Bella, Edward has made it out of surgery wonderfully. He is a very strong man, and he really loves you. He said your name repeatedly when he first went under, and even more now, since he is waking up. If you wait about thirty minutes, a nurse will come to bring you back to see him. Not long though. He needs his rest. He lost a lot of blood and is still very weak." I hugged him tightly.

"Thank you so much Doctor. I owe you my life. Thank you." We waited patiently for the nurse. Thirty minutes turned into hours. "I wonder if something went wrong? Why have they not come?" Just as I said this, the nurse came in, smiling. "Mrs. Cullen, Bella, come with me, he's asking for you."

She led me to his room. He looked over at me, and smiled. "Bella." He whispered. "Come here." I walked to his bed side, tears rolling down my face.

"Oh, Edward, I am so sorry. I..."

"Shhhh. Not another word. I am so happy to see you again. I've missed you so much. I thought I'd never see you again. He always stayed a step ahead of us. Are you OK?" His voice dry, weak.

"Edward, don't. Do not let me off with this so easy. I do not deserve you." I leaned on his forehead and wept. "I love you so much. I am so sorry. Edward, don't get angry, but I may have to leave again. I will not allow him to come here and hurt you again. I can't allow it."

"No! Where is my dad?"

"Just outside, why?

"Go get him."

"But..."

"Now! Bella." I did as he asked. He was getting so upset. Why his dad? I got Carlisle, and brought him to Edward.

"Dad..." He said weakly. "_Do not_ allow her to go back with him. No matter what. Commit her to a psychiatric ward or what ever you have to do. Please, Dad. I can't lose her again. Please." Tears steaming down his face. My mouth fell open. Carlisle looked at me.

"Bella, is that what you want to do?" Carlisle asked.

"Never! I just may need to if he comes for Edward. Don't you both understand?" I asked.

"Dad, please. I can't protect her from this bed. From him, or herself. Please, Dad." Edward began weeping loudly. "I will _not_ live without her again. I can just give up right now. It would be really easy. Dad. Promise me."

"I promise, Son. I will do as you ask. I promise." I looked at Carlisle.

"Bella, do you love me?" Edward asked.

"Forever, baby." Tears streaming down my face.

"Have you given your heart to him?"

"Edward, I hate him."

"Well, if you can give yourself to someone you hate, you can keep yourself for the one you love. Please, I am so tired. Do not... leave me..." The medication was kicking in. He was getting so tired. I grabbed his hand.

"I promise, Edward. Please don't leave me. I'll stay. I'll fight for us. Forever. I love you."

He was out in a moment's time. I felt weak at my knees. I looked at Carlisle. "What am I going to do?"

"No, Bella, what are _we_ going to do? You're not alone. Edward's not alone. We have paid armed security to stay at this door around the clock for as long as it takes. And you have the same. I suggest you not tell your nurses that you were faking. Continue your show and ride out a few more days here. We'll stay, also."

I hugged Carlisle. "You're the best. Thank you so much. I love you."

Esme slept in the bed with me that night, holding me tight. I cried well into the whole night. Later, Esme asked Carlisle to leave the room for a moment while she spoke to me.

"Bella, honey, what has you so sad?"

"Oh, Mom, I am so horrible. I just can't say..."

"What is it, baby. Just get it out. You know that nothing you say to me will be heard by neither Carlisle nor Edward. You can trust me with anything. You know that."

I leaned into her arms. "Oh, It's so bad. I am so ashamed." I began crying again.

"Did you sleep with him, Bella?"

"Yes, well, no, no, not really."

"Which is it?"

"Well, I allowed him to, well, you know. Oh, Mom, I'm so sorry. He was so aggressive, and he tried to rape me several times. I always was able to talk him down, but I knew it was only a matter of time. I asked him to do that, explaining that I was afraid to have sex while being pregnant. He accepted my explanation, but still...you know. I am so sorry, Mom. I've betrayed you all. Just to save myself." I cried into my hands. "And, I even suggested we get married, but when he beat me, I got mad at him, and wouldn't talk to him. That is the only thing that saved me that time, too. I always tried to think ahead of him. What my response would be if he did certain things. He was so horrible to me, while claiming he loved me, and would do anything for me. The worse thing about it all is that I was beginning to care for him. Almost needing him. He was so gentle when he touched me, and was so loving during those intimate times. I was almost fooled. He made me feel like he couldn't see anything, or anyone else when I was with him. I hated him so much, but loved him at the same time. Oh, Mom, I'm so messed up. My feelings would never have gotten involved if I hadn't let him touch me like that. What am I going to do? How do I tell my husband this?"

Esme paused, and smiled at me. "Oh, honey, it is definitely not as bad as what I imagined you'd say. Edward loves you dearly. He knows you love him, and you did what you had to do in order to survive. I'm sure that if he had to choose between the lesser of the two evils, his choice would be clear. You kept yourself for him. You can still have your wedding night. I promise, your worries are all in vein. And thank you, Bella, for loving my son enough to do what you did to keep him safe. You will always have my heart and my admiration. I love you, my baby." She hugged me tight. I felt so much better after talking to her. She is the closest thing I have to my mom, and she treats me just like she would Alice.

The next morning, the nurse came to get me. Edward was asking for me. When I got there, I could tell he was much stronger than the night before. He was propped up, and drinking liquids. "Bella!"

"Hi, honey." I smiled, but my smile did not reach my eyes. "How are you today?"

"Well, the Doctor says I will be out of here in about a week. Everything went well, and I am on the road to a full recovery. Come closer." I did as he asked, and he kissed my lips. "Let me see you." I stepped back, and turned around for him. "You're showing a lot." He winced a little. "I guess I almost missed this pregnancy too." He said looking away. I had hurt him by allowing myself to stay gone with Jacob. I suddenly realized that I could have ran long ago. I just thought if I got him to trust me, that the separation would be easier, and no one would get hurt. Now, looking at Edward, I was so wrong.

"Baby, look at me. We have now, and forever. I know I could have done things differently, but I'm here now. I will make it up to you."

"What are you talking about, Bella?"

I pushed his hair from his face. "Don't worry about it now. Everything'll be fine. They want to keep me for a week or so, and monitor our baby's movements, and by blood presser, so I'll be here with you."

"Well, good, I want you close to me. Can you get up here?" I crawled into the bed with him, careful to not hit his stomach. He wrapped his arm around me, and held me close. "I hope they let us sleep like this tonight. I don't want you to move from this spot."

"Me either." I giggled. I felt so warm and secure in his arms. I knew he would never hurt me. Never put me through even a fraction of what I had just gone through. He would love me, and my children without reason or cause. Only because I had his heart. "You're right, I hope they're not too rude about me being here. I do not plan on leaving these arms any time soon." We both laughed. "I love you, Mr. Cullen."

"And I you, Mrs. Cullen. Baby, can I ask you something?"

"Anything."

"He took you on our wedding night, right?" I shook my head. "Well...um...you...um..."

"No, Edward, he never penetrated me. Never ever, until this very day. But I..."

"Yes..."

I sat up to face him. "Edward, I did allow other things." His eyes brightened wide.

"Other things?"

"Well..." I put my head down. "I allowed..."

"Wait, stop, Bella. All I need to know is two things right now. One, did he penetrate you, and do you love him? Does he have your heart?" He asked, almost afraid of my answers.

"Absolutely not, neither. I love you. I always have. I did all of this for you. He threatened to kill you if I ran. That's why I got so mad last night when they allowed him to escape. Oh, Edward, you know he'll _never_ stop, right? We'll _never_ be safe. I hate putting you, and our kids in that much danger."

"Bella..."

"No, Edward, hear me out. Things have happened that we need to talk about. Things that my change things for us. For our future."

"Bella, regardless to what happened with you and him, it still does not change that fact that I have missed you greatly, and I know you did what you had to in order to survive. Furthermore, I don't want the gory details of what he did to you...not today. Not after I've been away from you for so long. If he didn't rape you, and you can live with what happened sexually with him, then, so can I. I know you're smart. And you survived the best way you knew how. Now, when everything settles down, and you still want to tell me the details, I _will_ listen. But I can tell you now. It will not effect my love for you. So, please, Bella. No more talk of that bastard today." He pulled me back down into his arms. "I love you, always, my love. I'll spend my everyday protecting you and loving you."

His words reminded me of something important. "Oh...I almost forgot. Someone around us has been giving Jacob information about us. She knows all of us, even your parents. She knows the most intimate of details. She knew all of our travel plans, where we were staying, what room, when you go running, even when I take our children to the park. We have been spied on, Edward, in the worst ways. Can you think of anyone that comes to mind that may know this much information about us?

"I don't know, but I'll definitely speak to Dad about it. Can we let this rest just for today? All I want to talk about is how much you missed me, and how glad you are to be in my arms." He looked down at me and smiled. I looked back at him, and we both laughed.

"I would love to do that. Edward, I have missed you so much. I love you."

"Now, that's what I wanna hear. More, more."

We just laughed. He's always had a way of calming me. Making everything seem fine. The day went on, quietly. I laid with Edward while he slept most of the day. He held me tight, even then. I didn't mind. I missed him so much. For both of us, being apart, even a moment now, would hurt way more then either of us were willing to admit.

Days passed, we laughed and talked and caught up on the past month. I wanted so badly to see Carlie and Brady, but Esme was not having it, unless I was willing to meet them by plane in another state. Of course, Edward was not having me leave his side for a moment, so, I called them three or four times a day. Everyday. They seemed to have changed so much in the past month. Their pronunciation of words was better, and they seemed to understand what had happened, and was very angry with Jacob. I just wanted for all of us to go home and be together.

The Doctor visited. He told us how Edward was making a complete recovery, and could go home next Friday. We were ecstatic. Home was within sight.

The days passed. Edward and I only seemed to be growing closer. He was really excited to be going home, and continue where we left off...our wedding night. For some reason, that just did not sit well with me. Just weeks ago, another man was with me...touching me like that. I knew then, that this would be harder than I ever imagined.

Edward came home, as promised on Friday. We had armed security with us as we went straight to the airport and boarded the plane. We arrived home late that evening. The twins hadn't made it there yet. Alice would keep them a little longer until we figured out a plan for all of our safety.

Edward was moving around really well. He was still a little sore from the wound, but still strong. The first night home, he wanted to go to our apartment alone. I put up a fight about it, but hesitantly agreed. The ride there was quiet. I was afraid of what would happen tonight. I would hurt him, again. There was no way that I would agree to this. Not the way I still feel. My feelings for Jacob were an issue, plus, he had been probing and sucking on me almost daily for the past month. Edward didn't know the details, neither did he want to. That disturbed me, because this is where my apprehension lies. I wonder, if he knew what really happened, would he be so willing to just go forward.

We arrived at the apartment.

**Alright everyone...I want **_**you**_** to tell me what **_**you**_** think I should do with Jacob. The possibilities are endless, and I can't decide on exactly how he'll be.**

**So, leave me your review.**

**Reviewing is better than looking into Edward's eyes, and knowing beyond a shadow of a doubt that Edward loves you dearly.**

**Review, review review.**


	14. Chapter 14:  Getting My Mind Right

**Chapter 14: Getting My Mind Right**

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in my story although I wish I did I do not. They belong to the great Stephanie Myer.**

**((((( Bella's POV )))))**

It was just as we left it. No one had been there since we left for Las Vegas. He pulled me in, kissing me passionately. I returned the effort, but held back. We needed to talk. "Edward...wait." He ignored me and started kissing my jaw and my neck. "Edward..." I firmly placed my hand on his chest, and stepped back. "We need to talk."

"Aaahhh, Bella, we have been talking for three weeks. Come on, baby." He pulled me close, kissing me again. I gave him no response, so he stepped back. "Bella? What is it?"

"Baby, sit down." We went over to the sofa. The most worried look took over his face.

"I thought you said nothing happened between you two." He said almost a whisper. Pain clearly in his voice.

"Baby, I said he never penetrated me. Those were my exact words."

"So, what did happen? Wait, do I want to hear this?"

"Probably not." He sighed. "Do you remember any of the conversation we had after you woke up?"

"Just that nothing happened between you two. Was there something else? I was so out of it then."

"Well, yes..." He took a deep breath and held it. Breathing out slowly. He shook his head OK, then looked down. "Edward, it was really hard for me. Jacob was really aggressive. He tried to rape me more times than I choose to remember. I was so afraid, knowing that if he did, _we_ would be over. I would never have forgiven myself for letting him do that to us and our baby." I paused. He looked up at me, sadness riddling in his eyes. Anticipating what happened next, but wincing at what it could possibly be. "Well, I always had to think ahead of him. Knowing his violence was escalating, I had to give him some of what he wanted. Up until that point, he had ripped my wedding dress off me, slapped me several times, bruised my shoulders and forced me to sleep either naked or with lingerie only. He held me very close at night, and I could feel his nature rising every time he did. Oh, Edward..." I began crying. He wrapped his arms around me in comfort.

"Baby, I'm so sorry you went through that."

I looked up at him. "Edward. I made my choice. I knew I had to get back home to you. I knew he would eventually kill me. I had a plan. I decided to allow him oral sex. I got him to agree to that allowing that I was afraid to have sex while being pregnant, and I did not want to hurt the baby. Edward, it was so hard. My body at first would not cooperate with me. He insisted on me reaching an orgasm, but I could not at first." Edward covered his ears. I put my hands to his and pulled them down. "Please, Edward, this is hard enough. You must know what I am saying now to understand the later parts." He shook his head. "Now, where was I? Anyway, I had to allow my mind to enjoy what he was doing. To put myself in a place that was favourable. I even began imagining it was you doing that to me. I knew that the more interested I got in his efforts, the more understanding he would be about the rest. It worked. Just that small effort allowed me plenty of time with him being nice to me, less demanding, loving. I knew though, that at some point, it would not be enough. When that day came, and I had to return the favor. He had began begging me for sex. He, at the time did not try to take it, buy tried relentlessly to get me to agree. That is when I began allowing him a release. Edward..." I began sobbing, tears streaming from my eyes. Edward took me into his arms, crying with me. I felt so bad for what I allowed. I pulled back. "Edward, I have to get through this. You have to understand. It was so horrible. He was so rough with me. It made me afraid. I only imagined what he would do to me if he ever got inside me. I had been sick before in the mornings, but then, I began being sick throughout the day, on purpose. He would take care of me, talking me through it. He was very sweet and loving during those times. Almost like the crazy psychopath was gone. The loving Jake I knew years ago was back. For a while, I allowed myself to lose focus. I convinced myself that I would never have you again. He would never allow it. So, I made myself adjust mentally for the way my future would be. I allowed him closer to me, touching, kissing. He was much happier like this, so I relaxed, and let it be. Soon, after, his sexual advances got more frequent. He wanted to have oral sex throughout the day, everyday. He never really demanded I do him, except I knew if I did not, he would want more.

One morning, I left the room while he was sleeping. He had been up with me all night and was exhausted. I left to get some breakfast. Just to see if I wanted to leave, if it would be possible. I thought about all the different ways I could leave. It would have been fairly easy, but I knew that Jake would still be out there. He would never stop until he had me back. Only more angry and violent. It kept me there, with him. He was angry that I left, but soon calmed down. This was the beginning of him trusting me. Once, he got angry when I called him you, when telling him I loved him. He slapped the hell out of me, and bruised my upper body, grabbing me and shaking me. I calmed him. I made him get the picture I kept in my purse of him and me." Edward looked curiously at me. "Well, remember when I told you I was afraid of what he may do. I kept that picture always on me in case he did something dangerous, and the police needed a recent photo of him. I never told you. I knew you would think I still cared for him or something ridiculous like that. Anyway, he allowed me to move around a little alone after that. He took me shopping, to the movies, stuff like that. I knew that the more he believed I loved him, the less violent he would be toward me.

When we made it to Sacramento, and we found those fliers you posted around town, it set him off again. It took a lot that time to calm him. I began complaining about pains in my stomach and sides, but told him not to worry. It was just growing pains. It went on like that for a while. He was very supportive and understanding during these times. I later decided it was time to put my plan into action and get checked into the hospital. I threw up everywhere, fainted and curled over, clutching my abdomen. That's how I got to the hospital.

Edward, I knew that once I saw you, you would read straight through me, and what I was saying. I knew you would never leave me there with him, but I know I did hurt you with what I said, and for that, I sincerely apologize for ever saying those horrible things to you. And thank you for hearing me out when we talked. I just don't know what I would have done if you had not given me a chance to explain the truth to you. You loved me through it all."

"OK, you still have not told me anything that would stop us tonight..."

"Edward...don't you see? I gave myself to another man, and allowed myself to have feelings for him. You don't have a problem with that?"

"Bella, you kept the most important part of you, preserved for me. Not just that, you also survived a very tortuous time that most would have been already raped or killed. You want me to be angry with you for that? Never. I have no concern either about whether you love me more than anything."

I leaned into his arms, and cried. "Oh, Eeeddward. I don't deserve you. How can you just..."

He sat me back up. "Just what, Bella! Just know that you care for this bastard and still forgive you? I know its superficial. You had to in order to survive. How could you stop that? What I _do not_ understand is _how_ do you allow _him_ to still come between us! I love you, Bella, and I want you back, Damnit!" He stood up, turning from me. "I hate him for doing this to us. For doing this to _you_!" He stood there for a while, then turned back to me, kneeling at my feet. "Bella, I'm so sorry. Please forgive me. I am being insensitive. I understand. You just had another man touching you intimately just weeks ago, and it will take you some time to get over that. Am I right?"

I looked away from him. "Yes, perfectly. I'm so sor..." He put his fingers to my lips.

"Ssshhh, never apologize again to me about this. I promise, I will not press this issue with you again. I will wait for you. As long as you need me to. I promise, Bella."

I fell to my knees and grabbed his neck. "Edward, you are so good to me. Thank you."

"Bella, can I ask you just one more question?" I shook my head, still crying. "Do you want him back? Do you love him that much?"

"Never. I would never go back. At least not willingly. And I don't know just how I feel about him. He was mean, vile and aggressive, but he was also very loving, caring, considerate, and would do anything in the world for me. I know it sounds like Dr. Jeckyl and Mr. Hyde, but sometimes it was very endearing. One thing I do know, beyond all else...that I love you with all my heart, mind and body. I will never love another like I love you. You are my reason for breathing. For living. I need you in my life. Never doubt that. Everything else will pass. Please be a patient with me a little longer. I know that you forgive me, but please, please allow me to forgive myself for all that I allowed. It makes me cringe, knowing that you will be touching me, loving me, kissing me, and have my mind travel to him, and what he did to me. I understand that I will probably never forget it, but I would prefer it to not be fresh on my mind. Do you understand?"

"Of course I do. I love you Mrs. Cullen."

"And I you, my love."

That night, we slept, fully clothed, except Edward, I asked him to remove his shirt. I laid on his chest all night. Just taking in his smell, and rubbing his soft skin. I missed him so much. I hate Jacob for the time he robbed from us. I even hate myself more for allowing another bad decision on my part to separate us again. All I had to do long ago was to never give Jacob a passing look. I should have waited on Edward to come back to me. Will I ever learn?

As the days passed, I grew sad, missing my children. The baby in me was now moving and kicking, making me want to wrap my arms around Carlie and Brady. Edward and Carliyle made plans to take me to see them. But, they never spoke in our homes, the cell phones, nor the house phone about the plans. They also scheduled someone to come in our homes to sweep for bugs or any spy equipment.

I was growing restless.

There had been no sign of Jacob. From time to time, my phone would ring, but the number was unavailable, and no one ever said anything. At first, I did not think anything of it, but I ended up telling Edward, just in case Jacob showed up. I always felt on edge, like everywhere I looked, I saw him. I smelled him, I sensed him looking at me. Now, this, I never told Edward. I think sometimes that I am going crazy.

I did talk to the twins often on the phone. They told me everything Alice was doing for them, and how much fun they were having. Every time I spoke to Alice, she asked about the wedding. She knew we were already married, but she wanted me to still have the wedding. She even offered to do every single part of the planning. All I had to do was just show up, and let her prim me up. I spoke to Edward. Of course, he agreed with her. He said our wedding day, and night had been ruined, and he would love another opportunity to marry me. He asked me if I minded. He even suggested we put it off until next summer to give me some time to heal, mentally. When I thought it over, I could not think of a reason to push it off that far. I love him, and I want to tie myself to him in every way possible. I told Alice to go forward, but made her promise to keep it to herself. I wanted to surprise Edward. I knew he was nervous about my answer, and I wanted to surprise him. Like I would ever deny marring him a hundred times. He can be so silly.

"Edward, I want to schedule a sonogram. Would you like to come?" He looked at me, smiling widely.

"Now, what kind of question is that?" I smiled and walked over to him.

"One that I would like answered." I said flirtatiously in his ear.

"Now, Bella, I promised you, so don't do that to me." He stepped back. I smiled.

"OK. I'm sorry. Now, yes or no?"

"Of course!"

I scheduled an appointment to have a Sonogram done the next week. We both decided that we wanted to know what we were having. We both looked forward to shopping and decorating another room. Edward, of course, came with me to the Sonogram. Esme wanted to come, but denied herself, giving Edward this opportunity alone with me. Her sadness was evident in her face, but I promised pictures, and video. We did just that. When the examination was done, the Doctor looked at us and smiled.

"What is it, Doc? A boy or a girl?"

"Well..." He paused, smiling wider at us. "What if I told you a boy, but..."

"But what!" I said louder than I had imagined.

"but...two...two boys. Bella, Edward, you are having twins again!"

Edward fell to his knees, holding my stomach, laying his head on me. "Oh, Bella, I am so happy." He just laughed and laughed. He was so happy that I got excited. I sat up and he hugged me tightly. "Bella, are you happy? I hope so. Don't worry about anything. I will help with everything. You will not have to do anything. Oh, Bella..." He just held me close. I giggled. I did not need to say a word. I was so happy that I could make him so happy.

I pulled back from him. "Edward, I am so happy. I am even happier than you are, but Twins are a lot of work, so I hope you're ready." He smiled. "I am so happy I have you. Edward, I want to tell you something."

"What is it?"

"I want to marry you again, as scheduled, if you will still have me."

He froze, his mouth wide. "Really, Bella. Again?" He lifted me off the table, smearing gel all over the both of us. We both just laughed. Nothing could spoil this moment. He sat me back on the bed, and held me close. "Bella, I couldn't be happier. I love you. I love you." The sincerity in his words got to me. It rose something in me for him that I had not felt in what seemed like forever. I placed both my hands to his face, and smiled. I pulled his face close to mine, and kissed him like it was our first time. He was totally non responsive at first, but quickly welcomed me in. The kiss was long and hard, almost rough. We both needed this moment. There was surges of electricity everywhere around us, drawing us closer. I needed him, and he needed me. As our kiss came to a close, he placed raspberry kisses all over my face and neck. His excitement was catchy, addictive.

This, technically was our first kiss since more than two weeks ago, when we talked. He never pressed. He would only hold my hand, rub my stomach or kiss my forehead. Even though none of that was sexual, it all made me feel really warm inside. Loved. Wanted. It also made me miss him. Sometimes, he would kiss my forehead, or rub my stomach, and I would imagine him doing more. Him only. Jacob's touch was becoming a distant memory. A much needed distant memory.

Edward's touch alone, as innocent as they were, sent waves of heat everywhere within me. Everywhere. Even though I still denied myself and him to explore those feelings, I knew that it was only a matter of time. I needed to know for sure that it was only him in my thoughts...in my desires. I would not hurt him again, even if it was only in my thoughts.

We went home to tell the family. Carliyle and Esme were more excited than we were. They loved all their grandchildren, but Edward's children seemed to draw Esme in a way that did not include words or description. They had her heart wrapped around their little fingers. She knew it, and welcomed it. They even knew they had her.

She watched the video immediately. Much to our surprise, it had caught everything. We all laughed. Esme was beyond excited that I had agreed to remarry my husband. She jumped up and called Alice. We never saw her again the rest of the afternoon.

The wedding plans went on. We visited Carlie and Brady every week, sometimes twice. They were really excited to have more siblings. Carlie was not so happy, though, about having two more boys in the house. She thought it was not fair, so her father promised her one more girl.

"Edward! How could you promise something like that? How can you be sure? Plus, how do you know I want more kids?" I was only arguing. I knew I wanted more kids. I would have ten with him, if he wanted, but that was not the point. "Never promise her anything like that! That's her problem, now. She gets everything she wants from you, even when she does not need it! You will not be able to do anything with her when she gets older. She will be rotten, and you will be fine with her like that!"

He smiled at me. "My Bella, are you jealous?" He chuckled.

"Jealous? Why would I do such a thing?" He looked at me, and stepped closer, eyeing me suspiciously. "Don't do that to me, Edward. I am not playing." He put one hand to my face and the other on my side. He pulled me tightly to him. "Edward..." He kissed me gently, longingly, rubbing my sides, my back, pulling my hair. "That's not fair...cheater."

"Bella, don't be silly. I love these children. All of them, with all my heart. Carlie is just my little girl. Plus, she looks just like you. Its hard to deny her. I try, but when she gives me that look. She does it just like you, and I am no good after. Forgive me, baby. Maybe you can speak to her about doing that to her poor old father." He smiled, then fell over laughing. I joined in. I was being silly, and she does look just like me.

The realization of what he said, sent sensations through me. He loves me so much that even Carlie, looking like me, affects him. How could I ever have denied this man, anything, ever? I wanted him. Right then. He had walked back into be kitchen with Alice and the twins. I stood there in the room, frustrated – sexually, angry and contemplating how I could get him out of this house, immediately. There was no way. Our day was planned. We were obligated. "Damnit!" I mumbled louder than I should have. Edward rushed into the room, expecting something wrong. I blushed red.

"What is it, Bella? Are you OK? Your face is bright red." He approached me. The closer he got, the wider his smile got. He knew that look. That blush. He took me into his arms. I kissed him passionately. He rubbed everywhere his hands could touch, and landed them on my breasts.

"Mommy! Mommy!" Brady called, running into the room. "Look, a punkin, with eyes. I did it Mommy, I did it! Aunt Alice so so cool! Look, Mommy!" Brady jumped into my arms with his pumpkin. Edward and I stepped apart, and smiled at one another.

"Later." He said, smiling flirtatiously at me.

"Promise?"

He looked back. "A pack of wild beasts could not keep me from you, tonight." He smiled and walked out.

The day went by. We had the best time with Carlie and Brady. We went to see a movie in 3D with them. Of course, they moved around the whole movie. We also went to the park, and to a kid themed fun park. They loved the go carts and golf. Later, we talked about the wedding coming up in a little over a month. We also decided against a baby shower. The baby was due so soon that we would never make it. Besides, Esme has been shopping for the past five months. There is nothing that anyone could buy me that she has not purchased two of.

That night, we put the kids to bed, and asked Alice if she minded watching Carlie and Brady for the night. She happily agreed.

Edward and I rented a room. We knew that what we planned to do tonight would take a whole lot more than a wall to give us some privacy. As soon as we hit the room, he picked me up and brought me to the bed. After gently placing me on the bed, he kissed me and caressed every part of my body. He loved touching and kissing my belly. Every time he did that, the babies would kick and turn over. How did he ever expect me to get in the mood, if he keeps making them so busy? He seemed a bit reserved or preoccupied tonight for some reason. I pushed past it, and began taking his clothes off. I sat up, and began removing mine. "Bella, wait." He said, placing a hand on mine.

"Edward, don't. I need you right now. Please don't say anything to spoil this."

"Bella. Wait I said." Wow, he has never taken that tone with me before. He placed another hand on mine. "Honey, listen to me. You are due in two weeks. How can we rightfully do this? What if I hurt you? Or the babies? I have been away from you for months. Do you remember the last time we had not had each other in months?" He smiled. I remembered his second night home. He was really hard, and extra needy. We had sex over and over that night, but he never got enough. The morning had come. I had to remind him of our children to get him off of me.

I sighed. "Edward, people have sex all the time while pregnant. The only thing you can do is push me into labor. And frankly, I welcome it. Please, Edward. I need you. I need to feel you inside me. Close to me. Please..."

"Baby, don't beg me like that. It's taking every bit of strength I have to contain my self. To not strip you naked right now and have my way with you."

"Then don't! Give me what I want." I reached for his shaft. He stopped me.

I put my head down. "I know I'm fat, and look like a balloon. I understand. We should have talked about this first. I know I have made you wait for far too long. Now, its too late."

"Bella, its never too late for us, and you look beautiful. Even more now, than ever." He pushed a piece of my hair behind my ear. "You are absolutely glowing and your face radiates beauty. To be honest, I prefer pregnant Bella to not pregnant Bella." He picked my chin up, and smiled at me. "And believe me...I want you right now...more than anything. Everything in me is saying 'do it, do it,' but Bella, the babies. I need this to go right. I need all of you to be perfectly fine all the way until the delivery. Please, understand me."

I scooted closer to him, and pulled him close. "I understand, and I agree. Lets lay together."

"Let me put some clothes on."

"No, I want to feel you, if I can't have you. At least do that for me." I smiled.

"What are you doing, Bella?"

"Absolutely nothing." I smiled slyly at him. "Can't I feel my husband if I want to. Now, come here."

We laid down, close, kissed a while, then went to sleep.

In the middle of the night, I turned over, and began kissing him, again. I licked both his lips, asking for an entrance. He allowed me, without any fight. He kissed me sweetly, and pulled me close. I took his shaft in my hands and stroked it softly. He moaned into my mouth. I opened my eyes to see if he was awake, but luckily, he seemed to still be asleep. It made me feel good to know that even in his sleep he desires me. I stroked it until I felt it completely harden in my hands. This feeling sent a surge of wetness between my legs that I had not felt in so long. I could tell that he was still half asleep, so I needed to make a move before he became conscious enough to stop me. I crawled on top of him, and inserted his rock hard shaft in me. I moaned at his entrance into me. It felt so good. It had been so long. I just sat there for a moment, allowing my opening to adjust to him. He seemed to have grown during our time apart. It felt so huge inside me. I braced my self, and began slowly going up and down on him, taking in every inch of him. I wanted so bad to wake him up and have him give this to me that way I really wanted it, but I knew that once he woke, this would be over.

I decided to enjoy myself, while I could. I only hoped that he would not be too mad. I placed my hands on his chest, and began moving backwards and forward on him, over and over. His hands involuntarily moved to my hips, and he moaned a little in his slumber. I was encouraged. Maybe this could work. I continued moving on him, pausing when he hit a spot within me that made me feel really good. His hands began helping me move, pushing back and forth, while he moaned and said my name. Damn, he looked so sexy. I bet he thinks he's sleeping. His shaft seemed to grow within me, more than before. I paused. I hoped he was not wanting to come. That would definitely not be good for me. I slowed down, but his hands made me quicken the pace. I repositioned my legs, and placed my hands directly on the bed, allowing my legs to widen more, so I could take him in even deeper. I began bouncing on top of him, while he helped. The friction between our bodies was undeniable, but I wanted more. I needed him to wake up. I wanted him badly. I grabbed his chest with both my hands and squeezed. He moaned and began moving his head and hands. He attempted to reposition while I slammed my hips into his, trying to take every piece of him inside me. He was waking up, moaning and trying to reposition. He opened his eyes.

"Bella!"

I placed my finger on his lips. I continued riding him and squeezing his chest. I quickened my pace. He moaned loudly as his shaft stiffened. "Edward, please..." I breathed, while riding him with as much force as I could give. "I need this. I need you. Please...fuck me, Edward. Fuck me!"

Any will power that he had earlier that night went straight out the window. He sighed, grabbed my hips gently, but still tightly, and flipped us over. He leaned over to kiss me, and got up on his knees, taking my legs with him. He placed my legs on his right shoulder, completely closing my legs. He pushed into me quickly, then pulled out. "Damn, Bella. It feels completely different in there." He took another deep breath, and pushed into me again. "Ugh! Damn! This is too much. I have to come. Do you mind?"

"Will it be over then?"

"No, of course not. We must have been doing this for a while. I just need to release."

He began pushing into me quickly. He was so hard, and felt so huge within me. It felt so good. He pushed into be repeatedly, increasing his speed steadily. It was something about the way he had my legs, something was rubbing against my clit, and had me on the edge. "Ugh, Damn, Bella." He breathed.

"Oh, Edward, yes, yes, like that. I'm about to..." He pushed into me hard, three or four more times. I exploded inside, and he began trembling, as he rode out his orgasm with me. I moved my legs, and opened them as wide as I could get them, while my feeling passed me, as he slowly plunged in and out of me. I knew I did not have enough. I needed more. I needed it harder, longer. I was so wet and turned on, but I figured I better not push my luck. I turned over. Willing my body to calm down. Willing my desire to be quiet. He scooted closer to me. "Are you finish?" He asked. "I know you, Bella, that was definitely not enough for you. What are you going to do?"

I turned over to face him. "You're not mad?"

He smiled. "For what? Because my wife _took_ what was hers?" He smiled again. "Turn over."

I got up on my all fours, and he scooted behind me. "Edward...you know how I want it, right?" He chuckled. When he entered me, it was nothing like it had been in the other two positions. He was all the way in me. Leaving nothing to be found. And he knew it. He took another deep breath, and moaned loudly, while plunging quickly into me. My juices were running quickly out of me. I was so turned on. He grabbed my hips, and gave me just what I wanted. He began briskly plunging his shaft into me, and coming almost completely out before pushing back into me. He knew I liked it this way. I screamed repeatedly at the contact, saying his name over and over. He responded so quickly when I did that. I could actually feel him growing in me at every moan or scream I gave him. He picked my hips off the bed and pulled me back. He stood on the floor, pulling me to him. He lifted me off the bed, again by the hips, causing my center to hang freely before him. I steadied my self on my hands. When he pushed into me, again, my body went numb. I almost came, just from that contact. The way he held my hips in the air, and continuously pushed into me, gave me a feeling I've never felt before. I squealed, then purred. "Edward, baby, I need to come. Put me down." He did as I asked. He turned me over, and surprised me, when he placed his mouth on my center.

"uuuooommmm" He moaned. "Damn, you taste so good." He pushed a finger, then two in me, and continued sucking my clit. I grabbed the sheets next to me, knowing it would not be long. He blew, then hummed on my clit, then sucked, over and over. This took me over the top. He knew it was coming. I stopped breathing for a moment. He caught my hips and sucked me a little harder and quicker than before. When I came, I sat straight up in the bed, looking down at him, while he took pleasure in helping me ride my high down. My whole body shook from the experience. He then crawled on top of me. "I'm not finish with you yet, Bella." He entered me, quickly. We both moaned loudly. I picked my legs up as high as I could get them with that huge belly between us. I could almost still reach the headboard. He looked up at my legs. I instantly felt his shaft harden. He was so deep with in me that I could feel every inch of him. My face scrunched at the feeling. Suddenly, I felt extreme wetness. It caused him to slip in and out of me even easier, pushing further into me. I screamed. The sensation was overwhelming. I loved it. He was approaching his climax. He rested his weight on my legs and quickened his pace.

"Ugh, Damn, Bella! Damn!" I thrust my hips toward him and that did it. He pumped hard into me a couple more times and exploded in me, spilling his seed deep within me. His body shook and trembled repeatedly. He came so hard, his face turned red all over and his body tensed from the extreme pleasure. I continued rocking my open hips toward him, until he relaxed his position and rode down his climax.

"Damn, Edward. Where did that come from?"

"Well, I don't know. I never did that before?"

"Hell no! That was great! All of it!" He chuckled.

"Are you done now? Wait. Bella, did you feel that gush of warmth that came from you right after you came, but before I did?" I looked at him and smiled. I knew what happened, but I definitely was not giving that information up until I got the rest of what I wanted from him. "That last time I entered you, it felt so soft, softer than usual, then it was extremely wet. Almost too wet...different. I hope I didn't hurt you or my babies. How do you feel?"

"Well..." I assessed my body. Adding a little drama to my acting. "I feel the same. But I do feel a little pushing feeling down there." I smiled at him. "You can help me with that."

Edward jumped out the bed. It was the sexiest jump that I have ever seen. How his muscles tightened, and his shaft leaped in front of him. I wanted him, again. I needed to feel him inside of me again. I looked at him, willing him back to the bed.

"Don't even think about it, Bella. I know that look. Forget about it. This store is officially closed down for the night." I sighed. "Are you in pain? Should I take you to the hospital?"

"Oh, Edward, cut it out. I told you. The worst that can happen is that I go into labor. If I already am, then forget about it. Come over here, and give me what I need from you."

"Bella, don't be ridiculous. Tell me the truth. Labor or not!"

**So, there ya have it. Let's make a deal. I have Chapter 15 written and ready to go already. I am willing to post it if I get five reviews. That's not asking for much, is it? If not, I'll post it next Friday evening...its up to you... :D**

**Did I tell you how much I appreciate you reading my stories? Well, I do. Thanks for choosing me over the thousands available out there.**

**If you're on Twitter, follow me at MyDaughterBella.**

**Have a great Valentine weekend. I hope Bella's sneaky little sex adventure was good for you.**

**Reviewing is better than Edward telling you that he's not finish with you yet. Damn that was hot.**

**Oh, don't forget to add me to your author alert list. I have a new story coming out soon. It'll be really different than my two I have now.**


	15. Chapter 15:  Two New Additions?

**Chapter 15: Two new additions?**

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in my story although I wish I did I do not. They belong to Stephanie Myer.**

**A/N: I wanna give a huge shout out to my sweethearts on Twitter. You all make my heart go pitter patter. I appreciate all the information that you've given me, and I'm beginning to apply your suggestions this weekend. My week was absolutely crazy, and it was hard to sit still and figure it all out. **

**I know that some of you are concerned that I may not finish the story, but please be assured, this story will be finished, but I'm no where near that right now. I think we'll let Bella n Edward be happy together for a while. I would say maybe twenty or twenty-five chapters or so. I'm way off course with my outline, so I say what the Hell...just keep writing. The story was only suppose to have fifteen chapters...lol...and as you can see, there's much more drama to be dealt with...lol.**

**Oh, off the subject...I have a new favorite song. Well, actually, its not new, but its my new favorite. It's by The Veronicas, "Speechless." I must have been feeling really mushy this week because I swear I heard it at least a hundred times...lol. My daughter even began singing it around the house...lol...I go through that sometimes..don't know why. But I can say one good thing that came out of it...I got two new story ideas out of it, so it wasn't just a silly obsession this week, huh? We'll see...Remember to add me to your Author Alert list. **

**My other fic has a new chapter coming out in a couple of days, too. This one is rather funny, and Little Miss Insatiable is a little sad. Regardless, I enjoyed writing them both. My other fic is about Renesmee and Jacob, and finding their relationship, then later each other's bodies. Very sexy, innocent, shy, but totally hot. I had to build character over about eight chapters to get to the sexy, but trust me...it's worth every minute of reading. Read it, you'll love it.**

**Well, you know me...i ramble...just get over it and read...luv u lots...**

**((((( Bella's POV )))))**

"Well..." I paused, considering lying to him. Maybe I could get a little more of him _in me_. When I looked at him, I knew immediately that my fun was over, so I told the truth. "Maybe." I looked down on the bed, where I had been on my knees. "Probably."

Edward began running through the room, throwing all our stuff into bags, babbling something that I couldn't understand. He looked like he had just lost his mind. I began laughing, loud. It was too funny, looking at him like this. He actually reminded me of Carliyle the day I went into labor with Carlie and Brady. He had the same crazy, spastic look on his face. I laughed harder.

"What. is. wrong with you?" He scolded me. "We are having a baby, and all you can do is laugh! Bella, let's go!" I looked at him, and laughed even harder. My stomach was starting to hurt from all the laughing. I didn't care. This was way too funny to pass up.

Edward looked at me perturbed. "Call Alice." I managed to say between laughs. "And Esme. And, Edward, don't forget to get directions to the hospital." I curled over laughing again. He cut me the evil eye, then got his phone out. I laughed even harder. Finally, I got up and went to wash off. I definitely didn't want everyone knowing what we had done just before my water broke.

"Bella, you can't be serious! Bathing? I told you we should _not_ have done that. I told you!"

"Oh, shut up, Edward. Give me a towel." I showered then got dressed. Edward grabbed our bags, and off we went.

The ride to the hospital was long. Alice's area was rural and the closest hospital was forty-five minutes away. Edward was a nervous wreck, and Alice and Esme called every five minutes checking on me and the twins. It was all very annoying. They had already been through this with me not that long ago, and yet, they still are acting worse than Edward.

I just relaxed. I put my mind in a calm place. Well, I don't know if thinking about the past couple of hours making love to my husband is a calm place, but it worked for me. I just smiled and remembered to breathe the whole ride. I giggled at some point because Edward was so distracted with driving as fast as he could and talking on the phone that I think he forgot I was even in the car. It was OK, I still thought it was all funny. I dared not laugh though. He was wound way too tightly.

_Man, that love making was so good._

I could almost still feel him deep within me, sucking my breasts, lighting butterfly kisses all over me. I got so incredibly turned on. I had to catch my self, I found my self moaning, just from my thoughts. What is wrong with me? It's not like Edward and I have never made love before, tons of times. It's just that this time was different. The whole experience. Maybe it was just the distance that I placed between us wrapped together with anticipation. What ever it was, I definitely liked it. I will make it my business to remind him of what all he did to me, and to do it again. "Ouch! Man!" I grabbed my stomach, and began panting hard.

"A contraction?" Edward asked, eyes wide open.

"Edward, don't make me laugh, that was a really hard contraction, and laughing will not help this situation."

"What? How am I making you laugh?"

I giggled while breathing in and out, in and out. "That face you're wearing. Look in the mirror." I muffled a giggle back. The pain was becoming too much to chance any type of movement in my stomach. Edward looked in the mirror. He had to smile.

His face was scrunched together from the eyebrows, inward. His mouth held in the weirdest position, and the way his eyes were bucked wide open topped the cake. I bit my lip, and looked away. "Please. Edward, stop." I let out a giggle.

"Bella, you are being silly. My face is perfectly fine for a father that is excited about seeing his newborn twins for the first time. Leave me alone." He looked back in the mirror and chuckled. "Please give me a break. I missed Carlie and Brady's births, and I am beyond excited about these. Don't laugh." He looked at me and pouted.

"I'm so glad you're here. I hate the thought that _he_ could have been here instead of you. I look back at the past months, and I realize how stupid it was of me to deny us each other...Wooo...that was a really hard one."

"Breathe Bella, don't talk. All of that's water under the bridge anyway. Breathe in and out, in and out."

I did as he asked, but I needed to tell him. He had to know how I really feel for him. "Edward...shhhh shhh, shhh. I was so stupid. You must have thought I was in love with Jacob, or had deep feelings for him, the way I've acted."

"Bella, you are not making any sense. Why would I do such a thing. You're here with me. You show me every minute of everyday that you are with me how much you love me. Now, be quiet with that. Breathe for me, baby. We are almost there." His phone rang. Alice was in route and Esme was flying in. The flight was only two hours, so she would probably be here for the birth.

"Edward...I love you. I always have." I screamed. "The contractions were getting harder, and closer together. Hurry, Edward." He floored it. Next thing I knew, Edward was swooping me out of the car, running into the hospital. Screaming at the top of his lungs that I was in labor, and my water had broke. He must have not been listening to me in the car. I was in so much pain, but the desire to laugh was pressing in front of the pain. I knew if he said anything else crazy, I would just let loose.

"Doctor, she is pregnant with twins. Is she alright? Is this normal? We made love just hours ago. I knew we should not have. Tell me Doctor, tell me." The poor doctor looked at him for a moment, probably trying to hold his own laughter back, then looked at me. He asked me a few questions, then sent the nurse to prepare the operating room, just in case I was unable to deliver the babies in time. He never answered Edward. Edward was a nervous wreck. He paced back and forth, bit his nails, sat down, then stood back up. I couldn't take it any more. I grabbed my stomach, laughing at the top of my lungs. I laughed so hard that the contractions seemed to lighten. I had tears in my eyes, wiping them away before a stream of fresh ones came. The way Edward was acting was the funniest thing I had ever seen. I just laughed and laughed. The doctor even laughed.

"What the hell is so funny? Let me in on the joke!" Edward scoffed.

"Mr. Cullen, relax." The doctor said, while touching Edward on the shoulder. "You will be a dad in the next hour or so. No need to be so stressed. Just relax. If you don't Mr. Cullen, you will faint in my operating room, and I do not take kindly to that." The doctor smiled at Edward. "They will be perfect. Just relax."

Edward agreed that he was being silly. He pulled himself together and called Esme and Alice. Alice was already at the hospital with the twins, and walked in when her phone rang. Carlie and Brady were so excited. "I love you, Mommy." They both said together. "Can we hold the baby?" Carlie asked.

"Your mommy has not had the babies yet, Carlie." Alice said, picking her up. "See, her belly is still big with babies in there. Oooh, Carlie, look, they'e moving. Can she touch them, Bella?" I nodded my head. Edward grabbed Brady and brought him on the other side. They both touched the babies. A tremendous pain shot through my body.

"Get them out of here! Edward! Get the doctor. I want to push! Edward!" Edward quickly put Brady down, and ran out the room. Alice swooped both kids up, and looked back at me. Her expression was mixed between sadness and excitement. "Get out! Edward! Get in here! Now!" I growled.

The pain was becoming unbearable. I felt like I could rip open from a number of different places all at the same time. I screamed. Still, no one was with me.

_What the Ffff. In three seconds, i'm pushing. Doctor or not._

The desire to push was overwhelming. I tried to hold it, but I just couldn't. My babies were coming out whether I wanted them to or not. Edward burst into the room. My legs were spread wide. He looked down and blushed red, all over.

"Doctor! I see a head! Hurry!" He yelled.

A nurse rushed in. When she saw the baby's head crowning, she quickly put some gloves on, and pushed the emergency button. She took a seat between my legs. Suddenly, the doctor came in and another nurse. The doctor sat to deliver my babies. "Bella, we don't have time to get you to the operating room. I need you to push."

"Where is Edward? Edward!"

"I'm right here my love. I'm not going anywhere. I promise." He stepped from behind my head.

I could feel the sweat beading up on my face as I prepared to push. This was going to hurt way worse than my first time, I just knew it. Edward held a leg up, and a nurse held the other. I took a deep breath, and pushed with all I had, screaming at the end of each push. Edward was breathing with me, reminding me to stay calm and to breathe. After several really hard pushes, the first baby was out. I had a moment to relax, while the doctor made sure my second baby was coming down head first. He was. The contractions began to grow in strength. I felt the need to push again, and the doctor told me to go ahead. The second time was a charm. He came out easily. Two pushes, and it was over. Edward and I each held a baby. When I looked over at him, his face was riddled over with tears. He looked like he had just won the best prize. He couldn't be more in love than he was at that moment.

Then, from nowhere, the pain returned. Not as bad as before, but definitely pain. The doctor told me that I needed to push the after birth out. I gave Edward the other baby, took a deep breath and began pushing. The pain grew with every push. "Something is wrong!" I screamed between pushes. "It feels like I am pushing another baby out. Something is wrong!" I looked at Edward. The doctor began examining me more thoroughly.

"Mrs. Cullen, you have another baby in there. A third baby! Did you know?"

"Aaahhhh! Get it out of me!"

"Push." The doctor commanded.

I pushed again and again. It seemed like nothing was happening. It was hurting so bad. The nurses ran in to prepare for the baby. My nerves began to get the best of me. I couldn't imagine losing any of my babies, whether I knew about them or not. I began pushing again through the contractions. After many, many pushes later, she was born.

"Ooohhh, Mrs. Cullen, you have a beautiful baby girl." I looked up at Edward. Beyond the shock that was evident on his face, excitement became the dominant expression.

"Carlie." Edward whispered. "She will be so pleased."

They didn't hand her to me. They took her immediately and began working on her. She was so small compared to the two boys. So frail. I looked up at Edward. Tears falling down my face. "I just can't lose her. Edward, please. He handed me one of our sons and leaned down to hold me.

"Don't worry, she is small, but do you hear those lungs? She's strong." He whispered, sounding almost convincing. After about thirty minutes, they brought her to me. She was so beautiful. She looked just like Carlie. "Edward, lets call her Leah." Edward smiled.

"What about the boys. Did you ever decide on a name?"

"I didn't, any suggestions?"

"Well, I like Cameron and Embry." I liked those names.

"Well, that settles it. Cameron, Embry and Leah. My beautiful babies."

Soon after, they came and took Leah. She was so very small. They wanted to watch her for a while to monitor her health.

Edward was last holding her. The nurse practically had to rip Leah away from his hands. He acted as though he would never see her again. I can't explain it. The most horrible, but adorable look crossed his face. It was almost possible to see the love oozing from him for these three children. It was the way he delicately held them. The way he smiled when each of them was born. I knew in those moments that no greater love existed than that which he was feeling for his children.

"Wow...three children..." Edward whispered. Then he gasped. "Five children." We looked at each other and laughed.

"Are you nervous?"

"Absolutely, but I welcome every moment. I thought I could never love anyone like I loved Carlie and Brady the day I met them. I definitely thought wrong." He sighed. "Thank you, Bella. For everything." He leaned down and kissed me tenderly, but building with passion.

"OK, now, you know what those kisses do to me. We will definitely be breaking our six week rule if you keep that up."

"Oh, shut up." He leaned in and kissed me again, still gently, still building. I pulled back to take a breath. "Where is all this coming from?"

"I just love you brand new. You have given me so much of you. My heart is so overwhelmed. I love you so much, Bella."

"Oh, Mr. Cullen, the mush." I teased. He smiled. "I love you, too, honey."

I slept the rest of the day away. Edward attended to Cameron and Embry. He never left, he never slept, he never ate. Even when Esme arrived, he wasn't hearing it. He had to be the proudest parent alive. Carlie and Brady both held each a baby and kissed and loved on them. You could tell that Carlie was definitely not as excited as Brady, but she would adjust. Plus, we never told them about Leah. Edward wanted to surprise his little princess. I think he was more excited than he thought she would be.

The days passed and Leah developed Yellow Jaundice. This new development only added to the suspense we already felt. Today was my last day in the hospital. We would stay with Alice until Leah was able to come home. Esme, of course, stayed also. We visited Leah twice every day.

One evening, Edward and I visited Leah without Esme, Alice or the twins. She was visibly getting stronger. She had gained a pound, and was giving us a half crooked smile like her father. She was so beautiful. The nurse came in to check on Leah.

"Oh, more visitors. Little Miss Leah is a very popular baby today. Aren't you Little Leah." She said cooing at my baby. Edward and I looked at each other.

"Did Esme or Alice come today?" I asked. "Is Carliyle in town?"

"Bella, I don't know. I don't think so. Nurse, you said that Leah was popular today. Who visited her?"

"I don't know Mr. Cullen. If I didn't know that you were the father, I would definitely assume he was. He seems to be very caring and attentive to Little Leah. He has been here everyday since she was born. Are you saying that you didn't know? I just assumed..."

I stood up. "You assumed! What did he look like?" The nurse looked bewildered at Bella's question. Afraid to answer her.

"Very tall, dark complected, maybe Native Indian, extremely handsome. Beautiful smile. I never thought anything of it. He said he was your step brother, Mrs. Cullen. He even asked me out." Edward flushed red in the face. I stood up.

"Oh, my god, how did he find us? Our children!"

"Nurse, under no circumstances does anyone other than Bella and myself ever see Leah again. Not even through the window. Do you understand?" She agreed and went off to call security, and find a supervisor. She appeared shaken beyond recognition, but did as she was told.

Tears began rolling down my face. My body tensed, and fear struck me like nothing I ever felt before. It was a cold, tingling chill that invaded my body, in whole. Before I even realized what happened, I fell to my knees, and clutched my abdomen. The unbearable feeling of loss took me over. I was not strong enough for this. I had nothing else to fight with. He had taken every bit of fight I had the last time. He would surely kill me this time, and my Leah.

_What was I thinking, why did I leave him?_

Just as I thought this, I imagined having Cameron, Embry and Leah with him, on the road, or in some foreign place. It sickened me to the point that I had to run to a restroom. I threw up everything I ate that morning. During all of this, I never realized that Edward had been calling my name. When I realized what was happening, I was on the bathroom floor in the corner with him sitting behind me, holding me still and calling my name. When I finally looked up, he had the most concerned look on his face.

"Bella, Bella, answer me!" He was shouting. "Baby, please, don't do this, don't leave me again. Bella, please. I _will_ protect you. Bella, come back to me." He wept into may hair. Until this moment, I forgot how Jacob, and his psychopathic ways effects everyone around me. Not just me. Edward had also been through a tremendous amount of pain with me gone, and I did promise him that I would never do that willingly again.

I reached up to his face, tears still present on mine. "Sweetheart, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. You know what I was thinking, but..."

He hugged me close. "Oh, Bella, we can do this. We can make it through this, together. Please, please, don't leave me again like before. I just _can not_ do this alone again. I just can't. Bella, please." Damnit! I did it again. I hurt him. I've ripped his heart out, again, just by my stupid thoughts. I always have to be the martyr. Not this time.

"Edward, look at me. I promise. I will never do that again, no matter what. Never by choice will I ever leave you, or our children again. I promise. Please, forgive me." I laid my head on his chest. He pulled me even closer. "I'm so sorry." We sat there for the longest, just crying in each other's arms.

I realized at that moment that we need to be together. To fight together. To survive, we need each other. Our hearts are permanently entwined, and we would fight to the death to preserve our love. Never again would another man touch me like Jacob had. Or kiss me. Or ever have a piece of my heart. It was no longer mine to give. None of it. I loved Edward so much at that moment that it consumed me. The love I felt from him covered every fear and pain that crept into me just minutes before. All hopelessness...gone. All fear...gone. I'm no longer just me. I'm We. And We can survive this.

I looked back up at Edward and smiled. "I love you so much. I just realized how much. Thank you for loving me so much." I pulled his face to me, and kissed him passionately. The kiss was deepening as it lasted. I knew this was not the right time or place for this, but I wanted him. I needed him. He sensed what I wanted, and pulled back. "Bella..." He tried to say. I turned around toward him, straddled his hips, and pulled even closer. There was no way I was ever letting him squirm out of this kiss, or anything else I wanted to do. I needed him. I needed to feel his love inside me. It comforts me. Makes me feel like everything is fine.

"Bella, my insides are ripping apart, keeping away from you. Please don't make me do this to you." He paused and looked into my eyes, then smiled. "But, I can promise you one thing. When these weeks pass, I will give it to you like never before. We will go out of town, and live with no outside lights for two days if you like. But, not today, OK?"

"Oh, Edward, I need you right now. Please, baby. Just a little." I reached down and grabbed his shaft.

"Bella, no." He picked me up by my shoulders into a standing position, then got up himself. "I meant what I said. Not today, Bella."

I sighed, "OK, you're right. Not today. Edward, what are we going to do?"

"Well, first thing is keeping our family together at all times. Leah is growing quickly, and will be with us in a few more days. I was thinking that my dad could talk to someone that could get us a room on this hall. Even hire security just for Leah. Bella, I will protect my family. At any cost. I promise you that. Now, go in with Leah, and I will go to talk to my dad to iron out the details. Peter, our bodyguard, will stay with you and Leah, while I am gone. Do not be afraid. I won't be gone long."

With that, Edward walked off. Our bodyguard stood outside the nursery door, looking suspiciously at everyone that passed. He never moved. He resembled a statue to me. It would've been quite funny had the situation called for laughter.

I held Leah close. She was so tiny and frail, but so beautiful. She needed me. I knew just by the way she looked at me, and the way she held on to my shirt. "Mommy and Daddy _will_ protect you." I whispered to her. She looked at me and smiled widely. It warmed me. Her first real smile. And she did it with me. Her daddy will be so jealous. I smiled back at her. "I love you, my Leah."

The day passed easily. No sign of Jacob. I sat, wondering just how he always managed to slip in and out so easily. He had been doing this for many months now. There was something that we were missing.

As I thought more about it, I remembered months ago when he me me at the park, when Alice wasn't feeling well. Then, when he met Edward and I at the airport. How did he know where we were at those moments? I thought about how he showed up at our hotel in Las Vegas, and knew the exact room that we were in. And, who was the person on the phone that he would talk to secretly, when we were together? And now, he's in Florida. And at the hospital where I just had my babies. There was no way that this was a coincidence. No way.

The details of our lives are only shared with close family. The friends that Edward and I have are kept at a distance. We spend so much time together that we rarely go out, actually, never anymore. Carlisle works all of the time, but never brings his family to work, or vice versa. Esme is completely tied up with her grandchildren. She only talks to other grandmothers to find out what they do with their grandchildren. She never gossips, or has anyone over. So, I know that no one could ever pull this much information out of her without her becoming suspicious. She's very private when it comes to our family.

The last in our family that I question is Alice and her husband. Jasper is really wrapped up into Alice. He rarely asks questions about anyone's personal lives. He takes great pride in raising his family, and working to provide for them. So, if he was talking to someone, how would he get that much information so quickly? Plus, it would be totally out of his character to constantly ask Alice what we are doing, and where we were going.

Huh, Alice. As sweet as she is, she is really a busy body. She has lots of friends, and talks a bit too much sometimes. And, she has access to the most intimate of details in our lives. Edward and I talk to her almost daily. She has been a great sister to both of us. So, with all that in mind, why would she sabotage us? Why would she put us in so much danger? I just can't wrap my finger around it. I just can't believe that she would do this on purpose. She has cared for my children for months. She has never complained. Never asked for anything. She would even argue with us if we started talking about taking then back with us. She would demand it was not safe, and they were fine with her until we worked out our Jacob issues.

"No, it can't be Alice!" I said aloud. I regretted it immediately. I looked up and saw Edward and Carlisle standing in the doorway, looking at me, confused.

"What can't be Alice?" Edward asked.

"Nothing."

"Bella, don't lie to me. Look at the expression on your face. You look like you've just seen a ghost." He took Leah from me, and handed her to Carlisle. "Bella, what is it? You don't have to be scared. Please, believe me."

"It's not that, Edward..." I paused a long while.

"Well..." Edward prodded. Carliyle stood there, looking like he was almost afraid to hear what I had to say about his Alice.

"Oh, Edward, pay me no attention. My mind was roaming, trying to figure out how Jacob always manages to get so close without actually talking to one of us. He knows information that only we know. That our closest friends don't know yet."

"And..."

I looked at Carlisle, afraid to say what I was thinking. Edward stepped between me and Carlisle. I looked at Edward, paused. I ran through more possibilities, more solutions as to how Jacob would know. They all came back to Alice. I sighed. "OK, before I start, please forgive me for even thinking this. Alice has been the best sister, and most incredible friend to me since forever. I never want to hurt her."

"Bella, my patience..." Edward added.

"OK, I was thinking about all of the times that Jacob has found us in the past year. How close he's been without being detected. How he manages to know just exactly where we are, and what we're doing, and how to come in between us. Even today, or the past week. How could he know that I even went in labor, let alone that Leah was still here. Someone is telling someone." I looked at Edward, then around at Carlisle. His face turned pale. I paused, again.

"So, Bella, what do you believe happened?" Carlisle asked.

"I thought about everyone that knows the intimate details of our lives. My parents don't even fit in, because when I talk to them, we talk about the kids, and things that have already happened. I thought about you and Esme. I immediately dismissed the both of you. You two are so private that the thought of either of you talking to someone about our every move just made no sense to me. Maybe talking about your grandchildren, but not like that. I thought about Jasper, and the effort it would have to take him to pull all of that information out of Alice every time we talked to her just did not fit into his personality. He's usually so care free. He really could care less about where we're going, or what we're doing if it doesn't directly concern him. That left Alice. She is so sweet, and has tons of friends that adore her. He does like to talk and brag on her family, and god knows, maybe one of her closest friends may be sucking information out of her for Jacob." I paused, and looked at Edward, then Carlisle. Edward looked at me, processing what I had just said. 

"Bella, I'm so sorry, how could I have not seen this before. We have all put you in grave danger. What was Alice thinking?" Carlisle said, angrily.

"Now, Carlisle, we do not know if this is even the case. I am only speculating. He could just as well have all of our homes bugged, and have us under constant surveillance. One thing I do know is that he will go to any extent that he deems necessary to get what he wants. And right now, he wants me, and obviously Leah. A greater fear that I have above that, is whether he knows about Cameron and Embry, and if he desires them, too." I just stood there, shaking my head. Searching my head for the answers.

Edward reached into his pocket, and flipped his cell phone open. "Alice, we need to talk to you immediately. Come to hospital. Leave the kids with Esme and Jasper. We won't be long." He hung up, and called another number. "Peter, I need three more for security at Alice's home. Immediately." He paused, listening to Peter, then said thank you.

"Now, Dad, how do we handle this. This has to stop, now."

Carliyle just shook his head. How should he know? This is his daughter that we're talking about. His baby girl. I felt just horrible even putting him in this situation.

"Hopefully, it'll be a big misunderstanding, and easily fixed." I said, but hadn't convinced myself of that, let alone someone else. We said nothing else. We just waited for Alice to arrive.

The administrator at the hospital gave us a room on the floor, and thanked us for the extra security. He admitted that his hospital has never had any real threats, and would help us anyway he could.

We waited there for Alice.

"Hello all, what's up?" Alice rushed in, kissing everyone, then sitting at the foot of the bed. "Any new developments?"

Edward looked at Carliyle, then at Alice. He took a deep breath, then walked to his sister. I could tell that he was holding his anger deep down, hidden beyond layers. The bad thing was that he was all tensed up. Moving almost like a robot. Emotionless.

"Alice, you know I love you, right?" He asked her.

"Yes...always."

"And, you know that we have never kept secrets from each other, nor have we ever told on each other, even when we should've, right?"

"OK, Edward, where is this going?" She repositioned herself on the bed.

"OK, Alice, I'll just get it out, then you can answer me. But you have to tell me the truth, no matter how much it will hurt me or Bella. Promise me. If you tell us the truth, we can work this out later, I promise."

Alice looked over at Carlisle who was standing against the door, hand on the wall, clearly not wanting to be in the room with us, fearing what his little girl would say. "Dad? What is this?" Carlisle didn't say a word. She looked clearly sad. Hurt. Afraid of what we thought she had done. But not remorseful. Maybe I was right. Just a misunderstanding.

"Alice, look at me." Edward said forcefully.

"Edward!" I interjected.

"Sorry, now...have you been working with Jacob, telling him about our whereabouts, and plans, and about our family?"

She was shocked. Her mouth fell open, and her eyebrows pulled together, hard. She was angry. Very angry. She lunged herself off the bed at Edward, and slapped him right across the face. "I dare you ask me some shit like that! You bastard! As much as I have done for you and your children over these months. You ask me some dumb shit like that! You are a dumb ass! You..." I stepped between them.

"Alice, don't be mad at him. It was me. Listen. I need to ask you a question. But first hear me out. Then, you can slap me too, it it makes you feel better. OK?"

"What ever." She said dryly.

"OK, Alice, think, we're all here in Florida to see the kids. Miles and miles away from anyone that we know. My water broke, I delivered three babies. One of which is still in the hospital. Jacob finds out, and visits Leah, every day since her second day here. How would he know that?"

"Hell if I know! Why ask me?"

"Alice, think, have you spoken to _anyone_? Especially the day that they were born, and the day after?" She paused, thinking. Running through anything she may have said, and to whom. She looked up at me.

"Charlotte. I always talk to Charlotte. He has been a good friend of mine since forever, and even had a crush on Edward when we were young. She always shows extra interest in what's going on with you and Edward. I just thought she was being a friend, and wanting to hear about me, and my family. Could she be the problem?"

I looked at Edward. "I don't know." He responded. "What kind of interest does she show?"

Alice walked over to her brother, and smoothed out the redness on his face from her hand. She mouthed to him..'I'm sorry.'

"Well, it started earlier this year. She hadn't always been like that. She began by showing extra interest in the twins. She said she wanted twins, and genuinely showed interest in the daily activities of Carlie and Brady. Then, she would ask about you two, wanting to know how you kept your relationship alive with the two babies. I thought nothing of it. If she wanted twins, she would really be interested in this kind of information. I remember the day that we were suppose to go to the park. I wasn't feeling well, so Charlotte brought me some medicine. I was feeling bad that I couldn't meet you, and you were already there. That was probably nothing, but I remember that day. She wanted to know which park we usually go to, and what time we usually went." She paused.

"Alice, Jacob came to the park that day. He 'surprised' me, and drug me behind a tree, after slapping me in the face for mouthing off at him."

"What! Why would you have not told me that?"

"I don't know. I was trying to fix it myself. It was just starting to get bad at that point. I hadn't even told Edward. What else do you remember, Alice?"

"Well, next, I remember Edward running. One morning, Edward and I spoke. He wanted me to do something for him, I can't remember now, but he said he would call me back. He was going for an early run. I was on the phone with Charlotte during that call. She heard everything we said. She just got really impatient when I got back to the phone, and told me she had a call to take, and would call me back."

"Alice, he tried to rape me that same morning. I let him in, thinking he was Edward. I only knew it was him because I happened to turn around after he was well into the apartment."

"That Bitch! Why would she want to set you up like that? Why would my friend of so many years use me like that?" Alice started crying. "Oh, Bella, I am so sorry." She hugged me.

"Alice, listen, I forgive you. I knew you would never do that to me intentionally. We need to hear the rest. This has to stop. What happened next?"

Alice began calming down. "I remember the day you and my brother left to Las Vegas. She had been asking about you both for a couple of weeks. I had mentioned that you both needed some alone time, and that Mom and me would be keeping the babies. She began asking pretty often about your travel plans, in detail. I found it off that she asked so often, but I never gave it serious thought. I figured she was just being nosey. That morning, she called and asked if I wanted to come to the park with her and her kids. I told her that I was keeping your kids that day because you were leaving. The whens and wheres were asked and she seemed excited for you. She even wished you well. Oh, Bella...Edward...I've been so stupid. Please forgive me. And when Cameron, Embry and Leah were born, of course, I was really excited. I told her. But, Bella, I never told her how many you had, only where you were. I never gave details because she rushed me off the phone, pretty rudely too."

"Wow..." Edward pushed out. "This just gets better and better."

We all looked over at Carlisle. He had never moved from the spot by the door. He appeared to be in shock. We all ran over to him, and sat him down.

"Dad, are you alright?" Alice asked.

"Yes, fine. Just really upset. We talked about all of this before. Alice, how could you not see? Your brother could have died...and Bella. I have told you about giving people too much personal information about you and this family. We have had this conversation many times. Now, we have to face the ultimate deception because of it. I am very upset, Alice." Alice put her head down. She was clearly ashamed at her actions, and her fathers reaction.

"Dad..." I said. "Lets not be too hard on her. She never meant any harm. _She_ was deceived too. Technically, Charlotte is who we need to concentrate on.

We talked for hours in the room, trying to devise a plan that would lure Jacob back to the hospital to be arrested. But, something was off. He had not been back to the hospital since earlier. The nurse said he came several times a day. "Something's wrong." I said to everyone. I explained to them my thoughts.

"Maybe the nurse tipped him off. We need to speak to her, immediately." Edward said.

We went to the nurses station to speak to her. We requested a manager be present for the conversation. We also had the police officer assigned to us listen in. Much to our surprise, Jacob had called. Supposedly to ask her out on a date, but she had refused. He demanded a reason, and when she refused to give one, he grew suspicious. He began asking questions, then hung up on her.

This was perfect. It fit right into our plans, and Alice was ready to begin.

Alice called Charlotte. She talked about Leah for a while, then told Charlotte how mad she was at us for leaving Leah at the hospital, while we went back home to Forks. She told her we stayed at her house in our room with the twins, and we acted like we did not care about Leah, at all. Charlotte took all of the information in, and quickly hung up with Alice.

"That Bitch will go to jail, right?"

"Yes, ma'am, she will. If she does what we think that she will, she'll serve her time for conspiring with him." The police officer stated. I was glad he was here. We didn't want to have to handle Jacob alone.

Well, just like we thought, Jacob showed up. He parked his car right by the entrance, and came upstairs to see Leah. As soon as he asked to see her, Edward stepped out of the room. I held him tightly by the arm. I knew the horrible things that he wanted to do to Jacob, but I would not lose Edward again because of his anger. The policeman stepped out too.

Jacob looked at us, hands up, palms out. "What the hell is going on here, Bella? You're going to deny me to see my daughter? I am not interested in you, anymore. I just want a relationship with my Leah."

**What in the world is about to happen? Dumdumdumdum... You'll have to wait until next time, but if you leave me at least ten reviews, I'll give each of you a spoiler. Whatdaya say?**

**Reviewing is better than fantasizing about Edward while making love to you on your knees. Do you believe that? Me either, but still review...**

**Review Review Review.**

**Smooches until next time!**


	16. Chapter 16:  No Bella, No Leah

**Chapter 16: No Bella, No Leah**

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in my story although I wish I did I do not. They belong to Stephanie Myer.**

**This Chapter's kind of short. I wanted to get into Jacob's head to help you fully understand what exactly happened. **

**((((( Jacob's POV )))))**

I sat there, day after day, waiting for time to pass. Waiting to reunite with my Bella and our new baby. My heart was growing more pained by the day. I love her so much, and I miss her so much that it consumes me. The past weeks with her definitely drew us closer. I needed her now, to survive. Now, it wasn't just her smell, her taste, her body. It was just her. Her presence alone I desire. I crave. When I sit and think about her, and remember her smile, it keeps me warm inside. I've never felt this way about any woman that I've been with, and there've been many. The sheer craving, the desire to be near her almost confuses me. No woman has ever made me feel that way. It keeps my head cloudy, and my vision blurry. Its almost like I'm no longer seeing through my own eyes, or hearing through my own ears, or feeling with my own senses. I don't function correctly without her. The numbness I feel, weakens all of my senses. All I want to do is lay down, and hold myself. Sometimes I find myself silently crying just from my loss. My grief is all consuming, and I sometimes want to kill myself. At least the pain would go away.

Back when this fascination began with Bella, it was a game for me. I knew her heart belonged to another, and I knew she'd probably never fully love me, but, I wanted her anyway. I knew if he stayed away long enough, and I stayed persistent, she would notice me. That was all I wanted at the time. For her to know I was there for her, and that I was interested. I had done this to many women before, but it was much easier. My looks, and massive build never gave me real problems getting what I wanted. But, she made me work. I tried everything I could, but nothing at first. It only fueled the fire within me. I desired more of her. All of her. No matter how long it took. That was how I had been so patient all of those months. Even though I wanted her sexually, I knew that sex was an end, for me. I wanted to grow to love her. Sex would just be the icing after the love.

I had never been in love before this. Infatuated, maybe. Obsessed, definitely. It was always only a game, though. Never desiring to give my heart to anyone. Women were so easily distracted...so needy. I could never see myself with someone that didn't know themselves, or not recognize me for what I really wanted. It was funny to me. Pitiful, almost.

When I think back on the past months, and how I hurt her, I wonder how could I have ever been foolish enough to think I could scare her into loving me, or, forcing her. I knew how delicate her heart was. How she loved completely. Purely. Honestly. I should've given him a fair fight, let my feelings be known, and pursued her, the right way. I could've had a chance. I know I could've.

I've never had regrets about anything I've ever done. This is definitely new for me. I just love her so much, and I want her back. I keep hoping that as the days pass, that this empty feeling, and my desperate need for her will pass, also.

I even think constantly about our baby. I know that it is not mine biologically, but I had attached my feelings and my heart to her. I had began to see myself as a daddy. In my past I had never given it a first thought. Babies were wet and stinky, and I wanted no parts of them, but Bella's baby was different. I didn't have a choice, but I wanted it. I wanted the family and the love that came with it, just because it was a part of her. Nothing in me had desired anything more than those two, and I had it, but I let it slip through my hands.

I just lay still most of the time, imagining her here with me, holding our baby. Everyday seemed to get harder and she seemed farther away. I'd lay and imagine her smell, but I realized as the days passed, I forgot a little more about her, and the hole in my heart grew deeper and larger as I cried my days and nights away.

As time passed, my shaft no longer rose when I thought of her. I had long since imagined going back, and stealing her from him. I refuse to do anything that would force her again. I'll never take her will away again. I did want to see her, though, and apologize to her, and to him. I wanted to explain all of this to her, and let her make an informed choice between the two of us. I know she loves him, but she loves me, too. I felt like I could deal with everything else, if I could only see her, meet our baby, and start over. But, so many mistakes sit between us. So many regrets; so much hurt. How could I ever expect her to forgive all of that? I've been so horrible to her. I only wish I could go back in time, and redo all of this. Damn. How do I fix this?

Months passed. I think. I never looked at the time or calender any more, so I couldn't be sure. The time apart only drove a deeper wedge between us. She was probably back with him, and he'd never let her go again without a fight. I wouldn't either. She's far too important to lose twice.

As more days passed, and I felt no better, I began to seriously consider suicide. I had no real freedom any more. I didn't have Bella, our baby, or their love. And now, I realized that nothing in this world would ever replace her or our baby. No more women, no sex, no conning or playing with others emotions. Nothing would make this better. I just love her so much.

One day, after months of my phone not ringing, it rang, but I ignored it. There was no one I wanted to talk to. The phone rang over and over for two days. Finally, out of frustration, I answered it. It was Charlotte. She was really annoyed at me for not answering, and started bitching about something, but I tuned her out. Nothing she could tell me would make me feel better, anyway.

"Jacob! Are you OK?"

"Yes, why?" I asked dryly.

"Jacob, I have some serious news for you. Bella just had the baby in Florida. She was visiting Alice, and her water broke. Jacob, the baby is there! So is Bella!"

I sat up in the bed, sheer excitement taking over my whole being. "She wants to see me?"

"Jacob, are you OK? Why would you ask me something like that?" She asked comfused.

I suddenly remembered who I was talking to. She wanted me with Bella, more than I wanted Bella. She would do anything to get Bella away from Edward.

It was our meeting that changed everything for me from the beginning. Having someone tell me the moves before they happened only fueled my personal desires, and made it really exciting. But, I know now, this was all bullshit! She didn't love Bella, or Edward for that matter. She's just like I was. Only thinking about ourselves, and what we wanted. Never thinking about how it would hurt the ones we claimed to love.

"Never mind, Charlotte. Why are you calling me with this. You know I can't go back."

"But, Jacob, the baby is so beautiful. She even smiled today. You would just love her. Besides, Bella don't look very happy. Its like she misses you or something."

"Where's this information coming from?"

"I'm here. Supporting Alice. I saw her for myself. Jake, just come. I can tell you when it is safe, or not."

"First, don't call me Jake, that name belongs to only one other. Second, this is not a joke or something just to get me to come? What you're telling me is the truth, right?"

"Of course, Jake. Have I ever lied to you?"

"I have no idea, Charlotte. I'll be there tomorrow."

I spent the whole day on flights. The airport delays gave me time to compose my thoughts to determine what I was really going back to do. I knew that Bella was back with Edward, and I promised myself that I'd never force her to do anything again. I had to focus only on my little girl, and spend time with her for as long as I could. Maybe Bella would see the love I have for our daughter, and allow me into her life. I love her already, without ever meeting her. If she is the only part of Bella I can have, I'll take it. With just those thoughts alone, I could feel the hole in my chest close just a little.

_This could work. I could give all of my love to my little girl. I could fix everything._

I arrived the next afternoon. I was so excited to see my little girl. I pulled my phone out to call Charlotte on her wireless to come and pick me up from the airport. She answered. "Charlotte, I'm here. Come pick me up."

"Um, Jacob, I'm not in Florida. Don't be mad. I knew you wouldn't come any other way. Your baby, Leah, is there, and waiting to meet you. That was the truth. Don't be mad, Jacob."

I paused, angry. Somehow, deep down, I knew she was lying from the beginning. She'd never been around Bella and Edward before. I just wanted it to be true so bad, that I never thought about the facts.

"You're right...I never would've come. And I do wanna meet Leah. It's OK."

"Thank you, Jacob. I can still talk to Alice to see what's going on, and where they are, if you like."

"Yeah. It'll give me time with Leah without worrying about them showing up."

"I just got off the phone with Alice before you called. Bella just sent the baby back to the nursery. You could go there for a little while. Bella's still in the hospital, so be careful."

The excitement I felt for meeting Leah warmed me all over. I wondered if she'd like me, or would she be afraid of me? Would she love me like I love her? All I wanted was to make her smile. To be happy. To never have to be afraid or alone. I rushed to the only local hospital in town.

I put a baseball hat on, and a thick jacket. Not something I would normally wear, but It covered me well. I entered the hospital with butterflies all in my stomach. I followed the signs to the nursery, and finally, there was my Leah. So little, and frail. So needy. So beautiful. My heart was full, and my eyes full of tears. I knew in that moment that I hadn't loved even Bella that much. At that moment, everything I had, everything I desired belonged to that little baby girl. My Leah. Nothing else mattered. The past year was gone for me, vanished.

I knocked on the window, and asked to hold her. I told the nurse that Bella was my step-sister, knowing with our skin color differences, she could never be my full sister. They let me in. I even flirted with the nurse, asking her out on a date. I thought she'd be useful. When I looked at her, just like every other woman in my past, she only saw what she wanted to see, not what was really before her. I sort of felt bad for her, but quickly shrugged it off. I stayed with Leah for an hour; holding her and kissing her, and telling her I loved her with all my heart. She even smiled for me, and held my shirt. I never wanted to leave her. I wondered how I would leave the hospital without her?

I knew she loved me too. How could she not?

The days passed, and Charlotte was still giving me the information I needed to see Leah. Sometimes I spent hours with Leah. They even gave us a small room with chairs to visit with her.

Our bond was solid. She would cry when I'd to give her back to the nurses. Sometimes, I had to take her back just to calm her. I even had to put her to sleep sometimes to stop her from crying. She was a definitely a little spit fire. Full of attitude, already. But, she was just like her mother. And I loved this about her.

My need for Bella was still there, but nothing like it had been. I loved her still, of course, but not like before. I love her like I did before I tried to pursue her romantically. Just as my friend. I had seen Bella a couple of times over the past few days, and I felt nothing like I had. Even as I watched her kiss Edward, jealously never surfaced. I was prepared for it, ready to handle it, but it never came. I only thought about Leah. And my love for her. I hope that somehow, Bella and Edward can find it in their hearts to forgive me for all the wrong I did to them, and allow me to see Leah. I just can't imagine never seeing her again.

The nurse told me that Leah was getting stronger, and would be going home in a few days. It saddened me, and I knew I had to face Bella and Edward really soon. That made me really nervous. How would I explain to them? Would they accept me? I hope so. I can't imagine ever being separated from Leah. I felt like she was now my whole life.

I called the hospital to see Leah. Making sure she didn't have any visitors. The nurse seemed distant, rude, almost. She had always been so sweet and flirty that I wondered what had caused the change. I figured she was probably just having a really bad day, and stopped to buy her some flowers.

My phone rang. It was Charlotte. She told me the most disturbing news. She said that Bella and Edward were going back to Forks, and they'd be leaving Leah in the hospital until she was ready to go home. She said Alice was really upset that they'd do something like that. She didn't think that they loved Leah like they loved their other children. This information infuriated me. Why not her? She was definitely the most precious baby I'd ever met. So lovable and sweet. She rarely even cried, unless you were about to put her down. I wondered why, then wondered if they know I'd been seeing her.

I went back to the hospital, anxious to see Leah. I wanted her to know that I adored her, and she would be safe. I needed to tell her that everything would be all right.

When I got to the nurse's station, I noticed that Leah wasn't where she usually was. She was far in the back, almost unnoticeable. The nurses weren't warm and welcoming to me anymore, and it felt like something was off.

I looked up, and there was Edward; anger riddling over his face, hands clutched, body tense. Then I saw Bella stepping out behind him, closely.

I put my hands up, palms out. "What the hell is going on here, Bella? You'd deny me to see my daughter? I am not interested in you, anymore. I just want a relationship with my Leah."

"What did you just say? Are you crazy, Jacob! You'll never see her again. Never! After everything you've put me through. She is Edward and my baby! Not yours and mine!" Bella growled.

"Edward, Bella, listen to me..." Still with my hands up. "I was wrong. For everything. Since the beginning. I am so sorry. So sorry. I promise, I have seen my ways, and I do love your daughter."

"Jacob, you can love her from jail, if you like, but you'll never have any type of relationship with my wife, or my baby...every again!" Edward snarled. Fists clenched.

"Edward, please." I noticed the police approaching. "Please, I'm so sorry. Please don't take her from me. Please." The officers approached with hands on their gun. I kept my hands up, and kept looking at Edward, hoping he would see my sincerity. "I won't resist arrest. Edward, please listen to me. Please forgive me. I know how horrible I was to you, and to Bella. I know I was out of line. Bella, please forgive me. I hurt you, badly, I know, and, you didn't deserve any of it. I must've lost my mind. But I understand now how things should have been. I should have fought for you, Bella, accepted your choices." The officers handcuffed me. "Please, Bella, forgive me." Tears began running down my face. "I can't explain the feelings that I have for Leah, Bella, but all I want is for her to be happy. I love her properly, I promise. Please don't keep her from me. Please Bella!" Sobbing loudly. "I'll never hurt you again, Bella. I promise. Edward, please hear me. Please don't take Leah from me."

**Are you mad? I know Jake did some pretty shitty stuff, but I couldn't let him stay like that forever. I'll try to make him better from here on...maybe. I'm definitely Team Edward, but I would love to get me a piece of Jake at one point or another...lol...**

**Would you leave me a review, letting me know how I should write Jacob from here on.**


	17. Chapter 17:  Choices

**Chapter 17: Choices**

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in my story although I wish I did I do not. They belong to the great Stephanie Myer.

**((((( Bella's POV )))))**

Jacob was taken away, immediately. He left sobbing, begging for forgiveness, and declaring his love for our Leah.

I'm really confused. After all that's happened, how could Jacob possibly think that we would _ever_ allow him to have a relationship with Leah or any of us?

Jacob and I were once really good friends, once. He held me together at a time when I needed him the most. Deep down, I do care for him, but there's no way I could ever allow him anywhere near me, or my children again. Plus, Edward would never allow it.

Watching Jacob like that sent chills through me. For a moment, I actually believed him. That he had really seen the error of his ways, and could really love my Leah. After all, I had told him all those weeks that she would be his daughter, and we could raise her together. I had lied to him to buy time, but how would he have known? Now, he feels as though she's his, also. Everything's such a mess.

"Edward, what are we going to do?"

"Nothing, we're going home. We'll have Leah transferred to a local hospital, and life goes on."

"Edward, you heard what Jacob said...do you think there could be any truth in it? Could he really have changed over these months?

Edward looked at me questionable. "Bella, what if he did, how would that affect you? Would you give him what he wants?"

"Don't be ridiculous. I'm just curious. He seemed so sincere. Before all of this craziness began, Jacob and I were really good friends. I just thought I saw that Jacob tonight."

"I don't know what to say right now. Can we just be glad all of this is over, and deal with this tomorrow? I would really like to spend some unworried time with Leah."

"Fine, Edward."

We spent the whole evening at the hospital with Leah. She was becoming very alert, and was a happy baby. We laughed and talked about just how excited we were about returning to Forks.

"Bella..." Edward smiled. "We have five children now. Don't you think we should buy us a home?"

My mouth fell open. I was really excited that he was finally considering purchasing a home for us. "Definitely!" I said excitedly. "I wonder how many bedrooms we should have with five children? We'll need a mansion." I said laughing.

"Well, let's see, first, are we finish having babies?" He asked smiling.

"What? Oh, Hell yeah. Don't you think five is enough?"

"Five is plenty. Enough? I do not know." He admitted.

"Edward, what are you trying to do to me?" I whined. "How can you actually consider having more children while these five are all still in pampers?"

"Bella, we can have as many babies as we like. Financially, we're unhindered. That's what usually stops most people from continuing. Are you saying that you don't want any more? I'll hire you two nannies, and a cook." He pleaded.

"Can we revisit this conversation in ten years? We need to dedicate my time to these five. Baby, I need you to let me do that."

"Fine, Bella, it's not a good time to talk, anyway, you just had three babies. I'm sorry for even bringing it up."

As the days progressed, Leah got stronger, and our family seemed to finally be right. Charlotte was arrested in Forks, and attempted to deny everything. Alice flew there to confront Charlotte. She needed to know why her best friend of so many years would deceive her like she did, and purposefully try to destroy her family. She had loved her friend, and felt betrayed. When Alice arrived at the jail to talk to Charlotte, Charlotte talked with her, but refused to admit to anything. She claimed it was all coincidences before Alice pointed out specific events that she and I had related.

Charlotte broke down crying while talking with Alice. She admitted her involvement in part. She claimed that she had always loved Edward, and desired a relationship with him. She initially began conspiring with Jacob when she saw Jacob and me in the park that one day. She approached him, offering information that would give him an advantage with me. She claimed she held up her end of the bargain, but tried to pull out when Jacob seemed to be getting dangerous. She claimed that she wanted nothing more to do with him after that.

After Alice further pointed out that she had set Charlotte up, by telling her about Edward and me not caring about Leah, Charlotte realized that Alice knew more than she was letting on. It took a lot of going back and forth, but Alice got the truth out of her.

The real truth was that Charlotte loves Edward. She always has. She wanted him, no matter what the cost. She even encouraged Jacob to take me away. Telling him that I would never willingly leave my husband, and it was the only way she could guarantee we'd be together. She had single handedly devised this whole mess, and Jacob was her pawn. She just pushed and pushed until he finally snapped. She really could've cared less if I would've been killed in the process. She claimed that her undying love for my husband drove her to do all of those irrational things.

When I talked to Alice, she told me that Charlotte was still trying to gain information about Edward. She wanted to know how he was, and if he was mad at her.

"Alice that woman is mentally deranged. My husband barely even knows who she is."

"I know, Bella. I'm so sorry, I had no idea." Alice said, getting upset again.

Alice was really upset, and hurt over the whole situation. She was heartbroken, and constantly apologized to us. I think the worst thing about this all is that this woman has turned our lives upside down, and I still have no idea who she is. Edward is partially familiar with her, but has never had more than a couple sentence conversation with her. She seemed to have gotten this delusion when she was a teenager, and has dangerously built on her desires. They even showed me a yearbook picture of her, and I still didn't recognize her. I guess those years were spent loving Edward, and trying to find myself. I realize now that I really didn't have any friends back then, and I showed no interest in having any.

"Edward, honey, don't you think that we should speak to Jacob? Maybe being away from Charlotte for those months helped him see the error of his ways. Maybe he was really telling the truth."

He looked at me, angrily, and sighed. "Bella, please don't make me angry. This conversation won't go anywhere positive. What's your fascination with him anyway? Every chance you get to defend him and his actions, you take it. It's like a slap in my face every time you do this. Have you forgotten...he fuckin' shot me!"

"Edward, please, baby, all I am saying is to give him the benefit of the doubt. I did see a change in him at the hospital. I just need answers, Edward."

"Answers! The only answer I need is that he's off the streets, and can never hurt my family again. I'm telling you, Bella, if you pursue this, it'll permanently scar our relationship. I am so tired of you bringing other people in between us. I've moved on and forgiven you tons of times. This time, I have enough!"

Tears rolled down my face, while my heart broke. I love Edward with all I have, and never want to jeopardize our relationship. Not for anything, or anyone. We've built a great life together, and now we have five children to focus on.

But still, for some reason, I still cared about what happened to Jake. He had been there for me when I needed him, and I felt bad for leaving without a word. I made my decision, and I was happy with it.

I looked up at Edward with tears trailing down my face, and placed my hand to his face. "I am so sorry, baby, for all I've done to you. For all the pain I've caused you. For all the time lost between us. I love you, and I never want to hurt us again. I'll leave it alone. I'm done with it." I pulled his face toward me and kissed him tenderly. "I love you my love." I said while smiling up at him.

"And I you, my love. All is already forgiven. Lets go home." He said holding my close.

We prepared to have Leah flown to Forks to Carlisle's hospital, and we went home.

Jake had been calling Edward's and my cell phones for the past five days. He was always very apologetic on his messages, and begged for mercy. It broke my heart. Leah seemed to even miss him.

One evening, I was checking my messages, and listened to his while she was in my arms. She immediately seemed to recognize his voice, and began crying. Maybe she had gas or something, but it was the look on her face too that made me think she recognized him, somehow. He had been there so often with her in her first days that the nurses had even told me how Leah was with him. They said she'd be almost constantly crying before he'd come, and as soon as he'd hold her, or speak to her, she'd calm down. They even told me of how she never wanted him to put her down. Only he could put her to sleep most of the time.

Knowing all of this was what stopped Edward and I from suing the hell out of that hospital. There was no way they could've known. He had displayed so much love toward her.

After seeing that, my thoughts began to betray my word to my husband. I needed answers, and Jake was the only one that could give them to me, so I took his next call to my cell phone.

"Bella, Bella...is that you?" He said happily.

"Yes, Jake, how are you?"

"Bella, I am so sorry. So sorry for all the hurt I've caused you. I was so horrible, and don't deserve your friendship, but please forgive me." He begged.

"Jake, I forgive you. I forgave you at the hospital weeks ago."

"You did?" I could hear tears in his voice. "But...I thought you hated me? You never took any of my calls."

"Jake, look, you hurt me and my family really bad. You stole things from us that we'll never get back. While I forgive you, I still remember, and it still hurts, and you've caused a strain between me and my husband that may never be healed."

"I know." He said sadly. "I've been calling Edward, too. I need him to know how sorry I am. I don't know what I was thinking. Bella, I made you do things that I knew weren't right, and I'm so sorry for that."

"Huh." I said, shaking off the visual of the past months. "Yeah, he may never forgive you for doing that to me, and he doesn't agree with me speaking to you now. He wants you as far away from me as you can get."

"I understand. Bella, you have my word. I'll never hurt you, or your family again. I really need you and Edward to know that."

"I'm trying to believe you, but I need to know what's caused the change in you. I saw it in your eyes that evening, and I need to understand so I can put this behind me."

"Bella, it's Leah. I really love her. I realized those months away from you that I never really loved you. I wanted you, and I was willing to do what ever I needed to do make you want me. It was my vision of Leah, and her life that held me together. When Charlotte called me, I knew I had to see her. I knew I ran a huge chance of getting caught, but I didn't care. The first time I saw her little face, I was changed forever. She looked up at me like she knew all of my shit, and was telling me she forgave me, and she loved me anyway. My whole world turned differently after that. Bella, I know I deserve the maximum punishment for what I've done to you and your family, but can I ask you for one favor?" He asked.

"Ooh, Jake, I don't know. I'll try. I can't promise anything."

"Can I have a picture of her? Seeing her will help me face my time in here better. I accept what ever wrath Edward sees fit to give me. I won't fight it, neither will I hire a lawyer. I only ask that you send me pictures of Leah every so often as she grows. Just the thought of never seeing her again, takes all of any fight I have left in me. Without her, I feel like I have nothing to fight for ever again."

I sighed. "I can try, but I'll have to ask Edward."

"He'll know you spoke to me. If it'll cause problems for you, don't do it. I'll just keep the one I have from the hospital. I've already caused enough hurt with you two."

"Yeah, I know, but I have to tell him I've spoken to you. I won't lie to him, and I won't be able to send you anything without him agreeing."

"You're right. If he wants to speak to me, I'd love to talk to him too. You two deserve to be happy, and if he makes you happy, don't let me do anything to hurt that."

"I need to go, but before I do, can you do a favor for me too?"

"Anything?"

"Defend yourself. I don't know what you're looking at, as far as time, but don't _not_ try." She pleaded with him.

"Bella, it's fine. All is well with me. This time'll help me get my mind right. I do need some separation from everything, and I can do it easily, knowing, and seeing that Leah is alright. Bella, thank you. Thank you. Thank you. You're a much better friend than I've ever been to you, and I appreciate you. I'll talk to you later."

When we got off the phone, I went in my room, and quietly sobbed. I was glad Edward and the children were outside, and hadn't walked in on me.

If Edward knew what I just promised, he'd be livid. Correction, he _will_ be livid. I've still gotta tell him. Fear struck me, and I remembered his threat while in Florida.

That night, we went to bed, and my mood still had not lightened, and he questioned me. I finally came clean, and told him about the conversation Jake and I had.

He immediately was on the defensive, and jumped from the bed, yelling at me. I let him get out his frustrations, and tried to explain my reasoning. He wasn't hearing any of it. He acted like I wasn't even speaking. When he finished screaming at me, and threatening me, he stormed out the room, and slept in the children's room.

I just lay there, crying silently into my pillow. My body felt numb, and I was afraid to lose my husband. As I thought about why I was upset, it made me even more upset. I was crying about another man, again, in Edward's bed. I hated myself for feeling like this. It's not like I'm in love with Jacob, or even want him in my life at all, I just don't want him in jail, and in a perfect world, he could have some type of a relationship with my Leah, but I knew that would never happen. I'd never, ever give my baby over to him, but I didn't see anything wrong with letting him have a picture of her.

I finally went to sleep after hours of thinking about my mess. Somewhere around four o'clock in the morning, Edward came to bed. When he got in the bed, he snuggled close to me, and slipped his hand up my nightshirt, and cupped his hand over my breast. He kept his hands there, and kissed my shoulder, my neck, and my ear. I laid there like I was asleep. He rolled me over onto my back, and kissed my lips.

"Bella." He whispered. "I know you're up. Talk to me."

I ignored him, and rolled back onto my side, far to the end. My traitor tears began flowing again, and he rolled me back to him, holding me in place this time.

"Bella, honey, we can't go on like this. We've gotta come to terms with this somehow, and move on, or it'll destroy us. I'm sorry for threatening you. I love you, and I'm afraid to lose you again."

"No, baby, it's me, again. I'm wrong. I'm laying in your bed, again, crying over some other man. Baby, you're all I've ever wanted, and you have to know that."

"Bella, I do. He's just caused so much dishevel in this past year that I'm not sure just how much more I can take. I need us to work out. You're all I've ever wanted, too."

"Edward, would you talk to him? I'm not asking you to agree with him, or me, I just need everything out in the open. I need you to know that I have _no_ agenda, other than getting past this whole ordeal."

"Alright, baby, if that'll make you happy, I will. I can't promise to be nice, though."

"I don't expect you to. I only hope you'd at least listen."

Edward did as he promised, and spoke to Jake. Jake told him the same thing he told me, but Edward definitely wasn't as understanding as I had been. I understood his frustration, and let him be. After all, he had suffered, physically, more than I had, and he had the right to feel any way he liked.

All four of our children were up around six o'clock, and everyone of them was hungry. Edward and I got up and fed Embry and Cameron, while Esme fed Carlie and Brady.

I was really quiet the next several days. I just couldn't seem to come to a comfortable conclusion on how to not offend my husband. I just went about my usual routine, and tried to perk up the best I could. We visited Leah twice a day, one at a time, and were excited about her coming home the next week. She had grown so much. It was hard to believe that just three weeks ago, she was so little and frail.

Throughout the days, I noticed Edward eying me. He looked really concerned. I'm sure he expected me to do something behind his back, but that was the furthest from my mind. I had already warned Jake that if Edward disagreed, I'd stand with his decision.

I guess my silence concerned Edward, and he'd ask from time to time if I felt alright, or if I needed anything. I knew at some point, we'd have to deal with this, but for now, I'd just stay quiet. I kept up small talk about the children to keep the peace.

Every day, we seemed to be growing further and further apart, until some days, we'd deal with the children, and never pass even an idle word to each other. We never argued, but we didn't talk either. As the week passed, he'd fall asleep in the children's room on the futon, and never came to bed.

I missed him, and I wanted him next to me, especially at night. He's always been my best friend, and understood me even when my dad and mom thought I was hopeless.

But now, he, _we_, were so distant that I grew afraid to change the pace, not wanting to anger him too much, and have to watch him leave me and our children. I realized just thinking that made me want to run and hide under something. I'm definitely not as strong as he is, on any level, and I'd never be able to raise our children alone.

Even though our near hopeless situation was clearly defined in my head, I still made no effort to change it.

I'd watch him out the corner of my eye in the morning after his shower, and missed him even more. His body was absolute perfection, and he strutted freely before me. As with everything else, as the days passed, even that changed. He'd come out the shower first in a towel, then in a robe, then in his boxers, then fully dressed.

It hurt me to my heart that I was allowing him to separate himself from me. I didn't want to be left alone, and I definitely didn't want to have to live with a man that hated me, and that I hated. I decided to break the silence, and approach him after we got back from seeing Leah.

"Edward." I said, approaching him. "Can we talk?"

"Not now, Bella, I have to bathe Carlie, then I need to spend time with the twins before they go to bed. Plus, I'm really tired right now."

Well, that was the most he had said to me in weeks, so I pushed harder.

"Edward, that can wait. Esme! Will you come and bathe Carlie for us?"

She agreed, and took Carlie from me.

"Edward, please."

I walked with him outside to our spot in the woods. Where we first kissed.

"Bella, what?"

I put my hand in my pocket, and pulled out a white handkerchief. I waved it left to right in the air. "Can we have a truce? Can I talk to my husband? I love you. Please." He remained quiet, so I continued.

"Edward, you know I love you, right?"

"Yes." He said dryly.

"And you know that I'd do anything in the world to make you happy, right?"

"Maybe." He said dryly, again. I smiled.

It was a start. He knew I loved him, and he believed I cared for his happiness, so I knew all wasn't lost.

"Edward, I know why you're angry with me, and I'm sorry. I had only wanted to smooth things over. Not create more problems between us."

"Bella, stop. I'm not angry with you. Really, more angry with myself." He whispered.

He took my hand. "Bella, I owe _you_ an apology. I made a demand of you without even considering your feelings, or your reasoning. Baby, I was angry, and didn't want him to hurt you, or us any more. I was trying to protect you, but I see, I only hurt you in the process."

"Edward, you don't have to take the blame for my shit. I deserved all of it. I just wanna fix it. I miss you. I'm sorry for not coming to you sooner, but baby, you're my best friend, and I should've pressed. I was really afraid of further injuring our relationship. I love you so much. I never wanna hurt you again." I said as a tear fell from my eye.

"Bella, we can argue. We can disagree. It'll still be fine. We love each other too much to not work through our differences, eventually. Besides, mom pulled me to the side and told me about myself." He smiled. "I knew our silence was pushing us apart, but I was angry with you, and I wanted to make you hurt just like I was. Mom noticed, and told me I was being foolish. She reminded me of our five children, and how compromise was a major part of a successful marriage. She said I should trust your judgment, and work things out with you. Besides, I'd never let us go, anyway. I knew I'd give in eventually." He smiled, again. "I'm sorry for being so stubborn."

"What would I do without you?" I asked hugging him. You're the best thing in my life, and I love you." The moment was perfect, and much over due. He leaned in, and kissed me passionately.

I never wanted us to release that kiss. It made me feel warm all over, and loved again. What was I thinking allowing this man out of my bed for so long? All too soon, he broke the kiss.

"Wait..." He said, pulling away. "...before you love me too much, and I'm unable to tell you what I have done." I pulled back, and looked at him curiously. I couldn't read his expression to prepare myself for the best or the worst. He knew what I was doing, and smiled. I popped his arm. "Edward, you know I hate it when you do that. Tell me." I begged. "What is it?"

"Well...I called down to Florida..." He started.

"And..."

"And I talked to the District Attorney prosecuting Jacob's case."

"Edward!"

"Wait, Bella, hear me out. I spoke to him honestly about our history with Jacob." I took a deep breath. "I asked him if it were possible to have the case transferred here to Forks, since Jacob technically did no crime in Florida, and he was more than willing to get rid of him."

"Edward, why? What have you done?" I asked _curiously_, but maybe it came out as an accusation. I don't know.

"Bella, I spoke to Dad's friend, District Attorney, Sam Uley. He has agreed to place Jacob on house arrest then probation for seven years, if Jacob agrees to keep his word, and keep his distance from you, and my family. He also has to do professional counseling for the duration of his probation, and he's not allowed to own a weapon, or resume any contact with Charlotte, or anyone that he, I, or the DA feels is unfit to be around him. He'll be watched very closely, and he'll be sporting that ankle bracelet indefinitely during the seven years. He's being transferred here today." He paused, then half smiled at me. "Does that make you happy?"

I looked at Edward, in awe. I didn't know what to say, so, I said nothing. I leaped into his lap and kissed him. I should've never questioned this man's judgment, or doubted him. He loves me so much that he'd even jeopardize his own safety, and peace of mind to make me happy. I finally pulled away from the kiss.

"Edward, I want you. Now." I said, as I tugged at his shirt.

"Bella, honey, we still have two more weeks before we can do that. You're very fertile right now, anyway, and I know you don't want anymore babies." He said smiling. "I can't promise I'll pull out. It's been so long, Bella."

I began unbuttoning his pants. "I don't care. I want you now, please Edward." I began kissing his earlobe, then stuck my tongue in his ear. He gave me the most delicious moan, while tightening his grip around my ass.

"Bella, no." He said, shaking his head. "No..." In a whisper.

I pulled his shaft out into my hand, and tightened my grip around it. I climbed off him, then began working it quickly with my hands. As I watched it growing, I could feel my wetness flowing. I leaned over to put him into my mouth, and he stopped me. He covered his shaft, and my hand, then gently pulled me up to his face.

"Bella, baby, don't do this to me. You know how it physically pains me to stop you. To deny you this. But, I won't allow myself to hurt you. I've been without you for weeks now, and I know how _needy_ I'll be when we finally do make love. You just gave birth to my three children, and I refuse to do this tonight." He said soundingd sure of his decision.

I looked up at him, pouting with my best pout face. "Baby, please, I'll be fine. The worst thing that can happen is that I'll end up pregnant again. I want you. I need you."

He stood up, helped me up, and began walking toward the house. "Bella, I love you. So, trust me, now is not a good time for this."

We went back to the house in quietness. He pulled me close, and often kissed the top of my head. My ego was bruised, and my feelings were hurt, but I let it go. I knew I could get him to change his mind, eventually.

We went to bed that night, and I laid on top of him, naked. I placed his erection between my folds, and laid forward on his chest. He smiled at my efforts, and wrapped his arms around me. "I love you, Bella. You know I do." I made a reassuring sound, and attempted to move my lower region. He was ready, because he grabbed my ass with both his hands, and stilled me. "Isabella Cullen, if you don't stop, I will put you off me." He said as his cock hardened under me. I eventually gave up, and went to sleep on his chest. Honestly, I was happy just feeling him next to me again.

The next morning, Edward and I woke up in each others arms. It was very comforting to finally fell his strong arms around me when I woke up. It had been so long since we were able to cuddle that close. We got up and got the kids dressed, then prepared for my one month doctor visit. The babies all stayed with Esme and Alice. We decided to leave early to go visit Leah since neither of us saw her the day before.

When we arrived there, she seemed genuinely happy to see us. She gave us the most beautiful smile and grabbed for our shirts. Edward was so good with her, and she seemed at peace in his arms. We talked to her, and Edward sang. We even told her about our home and her sister and brothers. We promised her that she'd be home really soon, and how excited we all were.

We left her, and went upstairs to my gynecologist. The wait was unbearable today. One of the nurses came out to tell us he had gone to deliver a baby, and asked us to be patient. Edward and I just sat there, talking and laughing. I whispered in his ear about how much I wanted him the night before, and how I couldn't wait until we were cleared.

My name was called, and we went in to do the exam. When my doctor began my pap, he immediately noticed growths on my ovaries. He asked if anyone had mentioned them to me after or during my delivery, and of course, I hadn't heard anything like that before. I looked at Edward, afraid.

"What could it be?" I asked.

"Bella, it's too soon to jump to those conclusions. It could really be nothing. Sometimes after delivery, they show up on women, and go away on their own. Don't worry yet. I'll take scrape a sample, and send it off to the lab." He took his sample, and it was over. Edward never said a word. The only change in his face was that he had lightened two shades.

When the doctor finished, he said it would be two or three days before he knew anything. He seemed encouraged, but how could he know. I got dressed, and we left.

In the car, Edward turned to me. "Bella, you know we can face anything together, right. We'll fight this together, what ever it is, and beat it. Promise me you'll stay positive."

"Of course I will. I have five babies to live for. Plus, I can do anything with you by my side." I smiled at him. Deep down, I was scared as hell. I've never had to deal with anything like this before, but I felt encouraged that I wasn't alone. I just couldn't imagine if something _was_ wrong; what would it'd do to my family? To Edward?

We decided to not say anything to the family about what the doctor said. We'd wait until the results came in. We didn't see any need in having everyone worried for nothing.

We arrived home. It was just after two o'clock. Carlie was so glad to see us drive up. She sprinted from the house, screaming our names. Brady wasn't too far behind her. They were beaming. "Nanna dress us up, Mommy!" Carlie said. She was dressed as a pink princess and Brady was dressed as the incredible hulk. They'd been playing like that all afternoon. Esme had taken tons of pictures, and was so tickled at them and their theatrical ways. We all went in the backyard. Esme had prepared lunch, and seemed more excited than usual.

"What's going on, Mom? You seem extra happy today. Can you share some of that with us?" Edward asked.

She smiled back at me. "Bella, Edward, I do have some news." She piped.

"Well, Mom, what is it?" Edward prodded.

"After you two left, Leah's doctor called. He said he had just missed you two, and wanted to let us know that Leah can come home today. She's doing perfectly fine, and there is no reason to keep her another day." She was smiling from ear to ear. I jumped up.

"Are you serious!" I grabbed Brady, who was standing next to me. "Sissy's coming home! Sissy's coming home!" I told him.

Carlie looked over at me. "What you mean Mommy? I home. I right here." I looked at Edward. I forgot we had never told her about Leah. It was suppose to be Edward's surprise to her.

"Honey?" I said to Edward.

"Come here Carlie." He took her onto his lap. "Dada has something to tell you. You'll be very excited. It's something you've always wanted."

"A fairytale Barbie?"

Edward laughed. "No, honey, something much better. Do you remember when mommy had Cameron and Embry. Remember we went to see them, and you were happy, but you wished one of them was a sister for you?"

"Yes. I want a sissy. Boys are yucky. Mommy's gonna give me a sissy?"

"Well, Carlie, she already has. She was a little sick when she was born, so she had to stay in the hospital to get better, but she can come home today. What do you think about that?"

Carlie looked at me, processing what I had just said. "Dada, you tricked me? Mommy had Cameron and Embry. No sissy."

Edward chuckled. "Yes, Carlie, but Dada and Mommy wanted sissy to be a surprise. We have to leave in a little while to go get her. You'll meet her today."

She looked at Edward, confused, but said, "Ok, Dada."

She jumped off his lap and ran to play with Brady. Edward and I headed off with a car seat and a diaper bag for Leah. The excitement from bringing Leah home pushed our newest fears to the back of our minds. Our baby girl was finally coming home, and we couldn't be happier.

We got to the hospital, checked Leah out, strapped her in, and off we were in route back home. "Leah, we're going home to meet your sister and brothers. You have three brothers and one sister. You're gonna _love_ them, and they're so excited to finally meet you. Especially Carlie." I cooed at her.

Before we made it home, Leah was asleep. When I gazed at her, she resembled a little baby doll. I realized just how much smaller she was compared to Cameron and Embry.

When we arrived, everyone was watching for us. Esme, Carliyle and Alice had all four of our children in hand, along with Alice's son, Brandon. Leah was warmly welcomed. Of course, Esme handed me Cameron, and took Leah from me. Everyone went back in to take turns loving her, and settling in.

Later that evening, we prepared our children for bed. We decided to keep Leah in the room with us to watch her for a week or so. Her small size still concerned us. Esme also offered to keep her in her room if we needed some privacy. After everyone was asleep, Edward and I prepared for bed. We were in the restroom together when he looked at me, and smiled, placing his hands on both sides of my face.

"Bella, you know you can talk to me about anything, right?"

"Yes, why?"

"Bella, I just want you to know that if anything bothers you, or if you have any fears or anxiety, you can come to me. You can talk to me about anything. Regardless to what's going on in this house, or with or children, your feelings still matter, and you're very important to me."

"I know. I love you so much. I haven't really thought much about earlier today since we heard about Leah, but I was afraid before then. I just hope it's not Cancer or something worse."

He took me by the hand, and led me to the bed. "Baby, look. First, we can face, and beat anything together, and second, you promised to stay positive. These next three days can be really happy and positive, or we can sulk the whole three days. I say let's expect the best."

I agreed, and we laid in bed. I crawled on top of him naked again, placed his length between my folds, and laid my head on his chest.

"I can't wait to be in you. My body's screaming for you right now." Edward admitted.

That was all I needed to hear, and I kissed him. I pushed for something deeper, and he responded, but quickly backed off. "Bella, no." He said shaking his head.

"I just wanted a kiss." I whined, as he stilled my movements on his length.

"That's all?" He questioned, and chuckled. "I promise you. As soon as your doctor clears you, I'll be all over you like white on rice. You'll be beggin' me to stop. I promise I'll make up for every day, every week, every month we've lost. But, until then, baby, please stop."

We went to sleep right after that.

In the middle of the night, Edward woke me up. He had realized in his sleep that I had become warm, and wanted to know how I felt. I didn't feel any different, except for a small ache in my lower abdomen. He got me some Tylenol for the pain. After an hour or so, the ache left, and we went back to sleep. He wouldn't let me get back on top of him, but instead, he held me from the back. He wanted to keep his hands on me to check me through the night.

I laid there in Edward's arms, and fell back to sleep. I knew somehow that he'd never be able to go back to sleep, as worried as he looked.

The next couple of days went by as usual. My ache never returned, and we spent as much time as we could with our children. It's a bit much having five children, but I wouldn't change a thing. I love my life.

**Thanks for continuing to read my thoughts, and I effin love you for it.**

**There'll be maybe four or five more chapters of settling in, and being happy, then the end.**

**I wrote, and rewrote, and edited this chapter god knows how many times. I hope you're not too mad at me for cleaning Jake up a little. I'm a Jake lover, and I just can't castrate him (sexylexicullen) :D, or kill him out of the story. I seriously considered it, but it made me feel funny.**

**The story is love only after this. Lots of fluff, hot sex, and all things in between. **

**Oh, I already have the next chapter written, and I'll post one for every ten reviews. So, if you want it today, get your peeps to read and review. Know what I mean… **

**You know how I like it…**

**Reviewing is better than laying on top of Edward naked with his cock laid between your folds…oh, hell, I lied. Nothing is better than that. I think I just felt it myself…anyway…review anyway…**


	18. Chapter 18: Moving Forward

**Chapter 18 : Moving Forward**

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in my story although I wish I did I do not. They belong to Stephanie Myer.**

**I need to apologize to my readers. I've had this chapter uploaded on FFn for weeks, but forgot to add it to the story. Sorry. I don't know what I was thinking. **

**This chapter begins to smooth things out. It'll either really piss you off or give you peace about Jake, Edward and Bella. Don't forget to let me know what you think.**

**Oh, if I haven't told you in a while… I flove you hard. You guys make me love to write.**

**((((( Bella's POV )))))**

It was time for my doctor appointment. The office called, asking us to come in, and discuss my results with the doctor. My nerves were everywhere which made Edward more on edge. I couldn't focus and I paced the house over and over, looking for things and kept forgetting what it was that I was needing.

When Carlie and Brady ran into the room, I may have even forgot to respond to their "I love you." All I kept thinking about was how bad this would be, and how it would devastate my family. I had already put them through so much.

Edward seemed very calm, despite his edginess earlier. He took up my slack. He dealt with the children and explained to Carlie and Brady that I wasn't feeling well and he was bringing me to the doctor to get me well. Thankfully, they understood, and ran into Esme's room.

"Bella," Edward said to me while turning me toward him. "Just relax. Whatever it is, we can handle it. Everything'll be fine, I promise." I couldn't hold back the tears anymore. I just gave him a half smile, and he pulled me close. "Please, don't give up on me without even knowing what we're fighting against. I need you to survive this. I need _us_ to survive this."

With that, he finished getting dressed and helped me pick out my clothes. We got in the car and were off to the hospital. I just couldn't seem to pull myself together. I knew I was making it worse for him, but what was I to do?

On the way there, my phone rang. I recognized the number. It was Jake. I looked at it ring a few times then silenced it.

"Who was that?" Edward asked.

"Jake," I said, then took a deep breath, and let it out slowly.

"Why is he calling?" Edward asked, sounding annoyed.

"I don't know. I've only spoken to him that one time, and he hasn't called since. Maybe he's wanting to say thank you."

"Huh. I sure hope so. I hope I didn't make the wrong decision," Edward said in thought.

"It'll be fine. I'm sure he knows exactly what you did for him and understands the terms."

We arrived at the hospital in record time. He let me out at the door while he went to find a spot to park. We waited for what seemed like forever in the waiting room. It was longer than the last time. Any other time it would've been fine, but today was different - I paced the whole time.

Edward tried to redirect my thoughts. "Bella, when we're finally cleared, have you thought about birth control? We can ask while we're here if you want."

"I don't know. I honestly hadn't thought about it. I guess I can if you'd like."

"It's up to you. _You_ have to carry my babies, not me. I'll have as many with you as you allow me. I just know you're probably tired of being pregnant. I'm fine either way," he kissed me on my cheek, and smiled. Suddenly, I didn't feel as anxious. He's always had a way of calming me. Just his touch melted away almost all of my anxiety.

"Bella, Bella Cullen!" A nurse called for me. We both went back to the room. It was different from the ones I usually go into. This room had extra lights, a newer bed, and much more room. They had all types of utensils that were spread across the counter which scared me, and I looked at Edward. He just shook his head, and shrugged his shoulders like it was no big deal.

"Don't worry, baby. Carlisle says he's the best in town. You'll be well taken care of," Edward encouraged.

"You told your dad?"

"Well, no, not really. I just asked him questions about Dr. Rabie and his abilities."

He finally came in, but with another doctor in tow. "Shit." I whispered. Both men had interesting looks on their faces while each of them read through my chart.

"Bella, how are you today?" Dr. Rabie asked.

"I'm fine," I snapped. "Please don't small talk me. Tell me what's going on. Be straight with me."

"Well, the sample I took came back negative. Bella, this is Dr. Raney. He's here today for a second opinion. I'd like to check you again, and get his opinion just to be make sure it hasn't grown since I last saw you. Are you all right with that?"

"I guess so...," I said worriedly.

"Bella, don't be worried. I don't expect anything to have changed. I just don't wanna send you out of here without doing all I can for you. Do you understand?"

I agreed, and they left while I got undressed.

Dr. Raney felt around, and opened me up to see what Dr. Rabie had seen. I looked at Edward while he looked down at Dr. Raney.

"Mrs. Cullen, there's no evidence of any growths on your ovaries, whatsoever. Dr. Rabie, can you check to make sure?"

Dr. Rabie checked me again, and smiled. "You're right. Bella, get dressed. We'll be right back."

After I was dressed, they knocked and came back in. "Bella, I just wanted to be sure that I checked everything I should've. In cases like this, if we catch it in the beginning, the treatments can be much more successful. But in your case, all is void. I'm so glad." I leaped off the bed and gave him a huge hug.

"You don't know how worried we've been. Thank you for being concerned. We appreciate you. Thank you. Thank you." Edward said to Dr. Rabie while shaking his hand.

We were on our way out the hospital ready to celebrate when we literally ran into Jake on the way out. In our excitement, we had run into two other people rushing to get back to our children. Jake was our third as we turned the corner right outside the elevator.

When Jake saw us he was shocked then he looked ashamed and put his eyes to Edward's shoes. "Hello Edward, Bella," he almost whispered.

"Hi, Jake. What's up?" I asked.

"Nothing – just going to see my Psychiatrist," he said looking up at Edward. "Thank you for what you did for me. I didn't deserve it but I do appreciate it. I called Bella's phone a little while ago to tell you."

Edward looked blankly at him for a moment. I looked at Edward who looked back at me. He seemed to be thinking about whether or not he wanted to answer Jacob or not. I smiled at Edward and held his hand. The silence was strange and the crickets were coming out when Edward finally spoke.

"You're welcome, but you can thank Bella. She believes in you. I hope you don't make me regret my decision to help you," Edward said sternly.

"I won't. You have my word. I acted ridiculously and I'm so sorry." Jake admitted.

"So, you're back at work?" I asked.

"Yeah, it helps keep me focused. I missed the dramas of the days," he said smiling.

While he was talking, I thought about our great news, so I gripped Edward's hand tightly and smiled at him. Nothing could break my high and I couldn't wait to get home.

"You two look really happy," Jake noticed.

"Yeah, Bella just got some good news, and we were in route to get to our kids," Edward said smiling at me.

Jacob seemed shocked. I guess he didn't expect any conversation from Edward. He just stood there with his mouth open then smiled.

"Jacob, are you all right?" I asked, giggling at the same time.

"Yes, perfectly," he never took his eyes off Edward. "I almost just hugged Edward, but I caught myself." He smiled, and Edward and I laughed. Edward reached his hand out to Jacob in peace.

"Jacob, I'll take a hand shake," he said jokingly as he held his hand out. Jake took Edward's hand then pulled him into a hug.

"I'm truly so sorry for all of my bullshit, and especially for shooting you. You didn't deserve that. I wish we could start over and try to be friends." Jake let him go, but kept his hand. "You're a great person, and I could probably learn a lot from you," Jake admitted.

"Well maybe we can go out to eat together or maybe even work out. I need to get back to the gym anyway," Edward admitted.

"Yes, either would be great - even both."

"I'll call you next week, but right now, we need to get to our children," Edward said smiling and tugging at me."

Jake's whole facial expression changed, and he put his head down. "That's fine. I'll be looking to hear from you. Thank you again, Edward, Bella," with that, he walked off.

Edward looked at me and pulled his wallet out. "Jacob!" Edward called. "Come here." He pulled Leah's picture from three days ago out of his wallet and handed it to Jake. "This is Leah three days ago. She's home now and is perfect. I just wanted you to know."

Jake immediately brightened up. The excitement in his face was hardly contained. He took the picture, and his eyes glassed over like Edward had just given him a million dollars. He pulled the picture close to his chest then kissed it. "Thank you, Edward, so much. Thank you."

Tears were streaming down his face. He stepped back to Edward and pulled him into his embrace. "I know I don't deserve this, but I love you for it. You've definitely made my day," Jacob looked at both of us and walked off. Edward and I stood there and watched him walk off, staring at the picture. He was so into Leah's picture that he didn't see anyone in his line of sight. He bumped into three people while making his way to the elevator.

Edward looked down at me. "What's up with him? Why's he like that about Leah?"

"I told you. He genuinely loves her. I think he really just wants her to be happy - just like you would. I don't understand it myself. It _is_ strange."

"Well, is it safe to let him around Leah with him like that. He looks like a love struck fool."

"No, of course not. Spend some time with him then we'll revisit it in a year or so. Let's see where his mind's at first," I said. "I don't wanna put our children in any danger any more."

"I'm so glad you said that. You know I only offered to spend time with him to keep a close eye on him."

"I know and he knows too," I said giggling.

Edward grabbed my hand as we strolled to the car - taking our time. We were so happy. We just wanted to bask in our new found peace. When we got in the car, I remembered that we hadn't asked Dr. Rabie if we could resume making love so I called him, and he cleared me. He just requested that I call him immediately if I feel any discomfort during or after sex. I also asked him to call me in a prescription for birth control just in case we decided to use it.

I was really excited. I told Edward what he said and he looked at me strangely.

"What?" I asked confused.

"Nothing, Bella, I just don't wanna hurt you," he said sadly.

"Edward! You're _about_ to upset me! You promised me! I promise you this...if you hold back from me, I won't speak to you for a month," I said whining, but threatening. He looked over at me. "Don't tempt me, Edward Cullen. I _will_ do it. _And_, I'll wear the slinkiest lingerie I can find to bed and rub my cooch until I reach an orgasm every night while you're forced to look and smell the fruits of my labor." He smiled then pulled my hand to his lips.

"You wouldn't?"

"Wanna try me?"

"No, I don't. You'd probably do it," we both smiled.

The ride home was long. We just cuddled, laughing from time to time for no particular reason. I thought on our meeting with Jacob, and how gracefully Edward handled him. He's such a great husband, and I'm the luckiest woman in the world. I really hope Jake doesn't disappoint us.

We arrived home.

We were so happy to see our children. Alice and Esme both gave us curious looks at our excitement. I'm sure they wondered what happened in the last four hours that gave us so much happiness, but we ignored them and loved on our children and enjoyed all the new possibilities of our future.

Alice and I decided to take Carlie and Brady to the park. Esme happily kept Cameron, Embry and Leah, and Edward tagged along. We hadn't spent any alone time with Carlie and Brady since I had Cameron, Embry and Leah. We got on the swings and slides with the twins, and they dared us over and over again to follow them on the rides. They accused us of being giants, and laughed because sometimes we couldn't fit. We had so much fun. We laughed more than we had in a long time.

When the twins got tired, Brady crawled into my arms and Carlie into Edwards. Brady is definitely Mommy's baby. He never misses an opportunity to tell me he loves me and he loves cuddling. It usually doesn't take him long to go to sleep. Today was no exception. I pulled him close, kissed his forehead, eyes, cheek, and lips.

Besides the fact that he looks just like Edward - more than the rest - he has a loving kindness about him that draws you in. There's no denying him when he wants something. Never pushy, but definitely knows what he wants.

Carlie on the other hand is a little spit fire and she has her daddy right where she wants him. There's no request too small or too big that she can ask him that he won't jump through a thousand hoops to accomplish for her.

Sometimes I get a little jealous. I know that his love for her is limitless, as it is for me, but the special attention that he gives her is not always as I would prefer. I would never tell him that though. I love seeing him with her like that. A girl _should_ prefer her father. He should be the one to show her how a man should love a woman.

Carlie'll never have a problem being in a relationship with a man that treats her wrong. She'll recognize it immediately for what it is. I only feel for that poor man. How will he ever measure up to Edward? I am dying to see.

I looked over at Alice. Brandon was on her just like Brady was on me - another Mommy's baby. She's so good with him. She shows him very special attention, and never misses an opportunity to tell him that he's loved. I have to admit that I've always watched Alice and Brandon. She's shown me how to keep a loving closeness to my children. I always envied her relationship with him even before Edward and I had children. I knew I wanted exactly that.

One day, I'll have to thank Alice for her displays of love and patience. It's seriously influenced my life.

We got back to the house, put them to bed and went down to talk to Carlisle and Esme. We told them about the past four days and what we had been told. We also told them about the results we got this morning. They weren't very happy with us for not telling them, but they understood why we didn't.

Edward and I were still very excited, and wasn't at all tired. We went downstairs, found an old flick, and took it back to our room.

To be honest, I had no idea what was playing on the television. Edward was looking at it and laughing, but all I could see was him. His beauty, his sexiness, and how much I wanted him.

Since the movie started, I had been subtly making advances to him. Either he didn't get it or he chose to ignore me. Either way, it didn't sit right with me.

I got up, stood in front of him, and removed my shirt and shorts. I had on the blue, silk bra and panties that I picked up while I was pregnant. I knew when I saw it that he'd love it.

He sat there, looking at me but not giving me any facial responses, and I couldn't tell if he liked it or not. I took a step closer to him, and placed my hands in my panties, then took another step closer. He sat there quiet, frozen - seemingly in thought.

I didn't understand what his problem was. He knew how much I wanted him and needed him.

I pulled my hands from my panties and brought it to his mouth. I traced his lips with my juices then pushed my finger into his mouth. He moaned so I straddled his lap. I removed my finger from his mouth and replaced it with my tongue. He allowed it all and eagerly responded, but eventually pulled back.

"Bella...baby..." He whispered to me.

"Shhhhh. Please don't. I need this. I need you.

**Thanks for reading. It's review time. I appreaciate every single one and I reply back. Let me know if you have any questions.**


End file.
